superm5992

I have a very good friend I have been supporting for 3 years who just finished a year long "transition drug recovery program" with the state of Florida DOC. It was very intense. He has a history of drug use and criminal activity. He was a man focused on God, his recovery and his new life. He was a "model" inmate and my son, who is also incarcerated for drug dealing (2nd time), looked up to him as a role model. Need I say, I was concerned when my friend's behavior began to quickly change upon his release. I first thought he was just busy and excited with all the activity of building a new life. However, once he stopped calling and failing to meet up when agreed upon, my worst fears became a reality. He has been on a massive crack binge for almost a month now. I don't know how he will find his way back at this point....very messed up. Soon he will be out of $$ and will steal, as before. My question, how does someone behave so well for so long when in a controlled environment and then just fall apart? It was like he walked out the door and started using! Also he positioned himself as "helper" or rescuer to those new in recovery..... mistake!!!....who is there to help him? HIs sponsor is doing nothing....says there is nothing he can do until he wants to stop. I am devastated! He is my best friend, and my son is wondering how he can make it. How do you do it? How does one want to stop?

Stagebear

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Timebuster

The reality is, until he hits his bottom there isn’t much we can do.

Ivan

Peter

Always beware whenever an addict "positions" themseves as rescuer or saviour.

We have enough trouble just hanging on to our own asses.

Some of us are not responsible enough to only be accountable to ourselves.The wayside is littered with junkies who felt they shouldn't have to answer to anyone.

Focus on helping your son to understand that his salvation can only come from within.

Your friend already knows what he has to do.

tsmba

Good points! Addiction is a disease and we are never "cured". The three words used in AA say it all: "cunning, baffling, powerful". None of us can stay sober for another person, and if an addict continues to use, despite our best efforts, it is not due to any deficiency in what we have done. It sounds cold but, until things get bad enough that the addict is willing to do whatever it takes, they are likely to repeat past behaviors.

CrackQuack

In early recovery, no matter how intensive the program, we cannot be helpful to anyone. We must focus solely on ourselves. I would count this friend as early in recovery because he's been in a controlled environment where he cannot use. Once out, he was able to use.
Maybe he was not really ready to quit. Maybe he didn't have a good program set up to deal with life on the "outs" and away from the controlled environment. Maybe, crap just happens.
No matter how it happens, it is sad, and his sponsor is 100% correct. There is nothing that can be done to help, until he wants to stop. Everyone hits their stopping point at different places. We normally call this our BOTTOM. When we've had enough. When we're LUCKY enough to say we're done. We're tired. We SURRENDER.
And we do surrender, but if the temptation is in front of us, for too long, we may not have the willpower to refuse it. It also may have a lot to do with how the system could care less. Our government is more concerned with money than actual lives. I see it all the time and it's why I want to get in the system, as a PO, corrections officer, or some type of work that deals with criminals, because I really want to try to make a difference in lives.
Anyway, our system is designed to keep criminials in business and addicts, are criminials. Whether we like it or not. Just think. If we all stopped being criminal, then there would be no need for the court. And our government wants that money. No doubt. There will be people who do care, but the bigger picture is money. So they cut him loose. Did he have anything, other than a sponsor and himself? A sponsor you can shut out when that rock is thrown in front of you. A sponsor is also only human.
And when the need to get high is so great that you're willing to risk your life, then what else is there?
I know it sounds hopeless, and sometimes, us addicts don't get another chance. We die before we are ready to quit.
I will keep your friend in my prayers that he realizes that smoking crack is an endless loop of hopelessness and despair, and get another chance to stop, and for good.
Have you looked into our friends and family forum? It's a wonderful area for people like yourself, who have to deal with the addict. Thank you for caring about him, BTW. It cannot be a road full of beautiful scenery, for sure. I am sorry you are going through this. My prayers with you as well.
My drug of choice is crack cocaine. I am lucky, grateful, HAPPY, THRILLED, and relieved enough to say that crack cocaine has not had me for 11 months today! One day at a time (though I will cheat and get more and more excited the closer I get to February 3rd 2010!) is all we can do!

superm5992

Thank you for your replies. I do understand the mindset of someone while they are using. I know that's why he's shut out his straight friends and family...What I don't understand is why someone who seemingly had it all....a good job, friends, family, a new home and a very bright future would choose this destructive path with a running start. At least my son took several years to return to old habits. I thought this lifestyle was behind my friend, I truly did! He will soon run out of $$ and then return to crime....what a heartache!!! If he breaks the law, this will be 3 strikes. From what I understand, it was a great program. A year long with a lengthy 6 month re-entry as part of transition.