2ala2

Hello Friends,
I would like to ask for your experience in an issue that I came across in my fellowship.

A group conscience was taken and a GSR was relieved of his duties after one member spread a rumor that the GSR didn't look ‘right’ and appeared to be ‘under the influence’. Another member claimed that the GSR had borrowed money from him and returned it the following day. The money being 50 Pounds (that’s the standard price of a Heroin dose, referred to locally as a ‘ticket’)

This happened to a friend of mine. He is devastated and insists that he is clean and that he is the victim of malicious gossip. He has multiple years of recovery.

Is it the NA to relieve him of his service even though there is no proof or witness to his using?

I'd love to know your experience in this

Gmoney

IMO, hearsay (gossip) is never grounds for the dismissal of a member from their service position. I can't help but wonder if the member being accused of using was allowed to take part in the group conscience...if not or if so, I believe there is a concept that addresses situations like this. In fact...I believe concepts 6, 9, and 10 may need to be reviewed in this situation.

If we were to based our service decisions on how others "look" to us, we'd be in a lot of trouble. Maybe I'm biased here because I've been accused (behind my back) of using in the past, and it kills me when I hear of how members sit around and make up stuff about folks they barely know.

huntsober

A person has as much time as they say they have. Its sad ...gossip happens however we must go on. I have found NA is a self cleaning fellowship. "if" a person is using and doing service work...that person does not last. This is a fatal, incurable disease which there is no non cure. It will always get worse never better.(I hate to use other fellowship words but they work in this case).

My area it is currently going through the same situation. We watched, confronted and exited a member selling drugs at a convention. Asked him to come in the hotel without the drugs however he was not allowed to be in the building with the pills. This person was also nominated for a service position. He feels that selling another addict lortab is not using behavior, since he has had a script for the past 4 years and he paid a pharm for the pills. His sponsor agreed that its his program and thats how he works it...So what do we do.... We make the voting members aware by asking the person to offer us some feed back to enable us to gain a level of comfort on the topic of his actions at said convention. After he was nominated the voting members heard his feedback and made their vote. He was sent back to his home group. (because he tried to explain to the voting members that he did in fact feel that using pharm was ok and selling them to another member was ok....NA self cleaning. Our foremembers from back in the day have all been through this ...its not new.

I like G$ wish I had a nickel for everytime I was accused of using. Of course that was over 20 years ago. I am pleased to say it has not happen lately but my sponsees and home group members watch each other close. LoL so much so I left my cell phone at home today by mistake. 13 calls so far here at the office of friends wanting to know WTF why was I off the radar. Thats soooo funny and cute. I love NA fellowship!
prayers sent to your friend. This will pass and he/she can stay clean.

andyaddict

NA is a self-correcting fellowship.

I'd feel that a group just don't need the good service and if it were me would find a group that did. In essence, F-em.

I know how hard it is to find warm bodies to fill service positions and am of the group that does not judge but hands out ample amounts of rope if it were the case they felt a strong desire to hang themselves.

Gawd, borrowing "$X" amount of money from another NA member means they must be using, my god people, what if he just bought a cheezeburger with it? Come on. Next it's like, you just got a "$x00" check, that's enough to buy 10X that much dope - you must be using too.

a

Gmoney

My sponsor, and some other NA oldtimers, agree that when any of us is doing something that isn't the "right thing for the right reason", it is between the person, their HP and their conscience to come clean about it. Like Joe said, we operate on a trust system, and a member has as much clean time as they say they do. Or as my family elders would say, "The cream will always rise to the top," - meaning: the truth will eventually reveal itself. I've never met an addict that could hide their using for long. Unmanageability is always the end result. My personal experience bears this out.

Oh yeah..I'd like to re-phrase what I said earlier: Hearsay should never be proper grounds for dimissal...but obviously it can and does happen. IMO, A person should always be allowed to defend themselves against accusations (in front of their accusors).

huntsober

When I was out there I never wanted to be around a clean person. However if a using person finds it interesting to do so....many get tired of the game and move on or hear something they need to hear. I loved the JFT today. Attracting a using addict is what we are trying to do. Thats hard to do when your clean and talking about God all the time.
I hear stories all the time about addicts that came to mgts while using till they finally got clean. Personaly I would rather people just leave my clean time out of it. Meaning dont base your love, your interest in hanging out with me, your willingness to help, your honesty....anything on MY time. I can not afford to allow my clean time to get in the way of my recovery. I just want the same thing as everyone else.. I want people to like me....for me.

Gmoney

Same here, Joe. I hardly ever mention my clean time. I believe the best way we carry the message is in how we live - not so much what we say. Talk is cheap. IMO, our greatest attraction is in walking the walk. Even the 2nd step talks about the "evidence" being seen as proof of a Power greater than self at work. And speaking of evidence, this is why it's disturbing to me that addicts will conjure up stuff about other addicts. There's an oldtimer in my area that used to say, "If you want to know if I'm recovering or not...come home with me and ask the people I'm around ALL THE TIME."

90 minutes in (or around) a meeting doesn't always provide an accurate picture of my development or progress in this process. So what the guy didn't "look right" and he borrowed some money? He should have a chance to tell his side of the story before being booted out.

Wolfchild

It grieves me to hear of personalities coming before principles in any area of service. However, God can and does express himself in group conscious if people are listening. As far as this issue is concerned within our local service structure, clean time is regarded as something between the person and their Higher Power. We try very hard not to put too much importance on the appearence of someone and to wait somewhat patiently for more to be revealed. Not perfect with that, but we are making progress with it, for the most part.

i hope the person will take it in stride and continue to recieve the love and support they need to stay clean.

Nice to see you again 2ala2!!

2ala2

Thank you for all your responses. I'm afraid at this point I am not sure if they are clean or not. Very confusing!

kj3880

I discourage people from speculating about other's clean time in my home group. It was done to me and a service position I had asked to do wasn't given to me in my old home group. I'd lost about 30 lbs on a diet and the woman who was secretary told the others that I was "probably hitting the pipe to get that thin." I wasn't that thin. But she had a grudge against me and this was her way to get revenge. I was pretty upset when I heard why I lost the vote. So we don't know who is using and who isn't. And really, unless they are stealing your pocketbook from under your seat at a meeting, or breaking into your car, is it your problem? It'll come to light if they are using, believe me.

By the way, borrowing money and not returning it is more of an indication of using in these parts...lol.

Love,
KJ

Lily

I think that is lame, it is an honest program. It is not up to the fellowship to prove anything. This isn't kindergarten. I think malicious gossip is stealing. It is stealing ones reputation. Very sad. I am just back into the work place after taking a 7 1/2 yr hiatus, already people are backbitting and gossiping. When someone gossips to me, I just don't say anything and look down.