Oh Well. . .
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: far left of center
Posts: 237
Oh Well. . .
I had a feeling about it. Thought I smelt it. Came home early from work unannounced. GF of 3 years, sober 5, was drinking.
Disappointed? No, I expected it - she wasnt going to meetings. wasnt working with anyone. It was bound to happen.
Periods of sobriety convince us we can do it "this time."
Disappointed? No, I expected it - she wasnt going to meetings. wasnt working with anyone. It was bound to happen.
Periods of sobriety convince us we can do it "this time."
I'm sorry to hear that. My bf (now xbf) just started drinking after 2 years of sobriety. It makes me so sad. It makes me really sad for him because he worked so hard. I'm on day 2 of no contact. I hope he gets to a meeting soon.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 9
Thanks
Oh, I don't know if there is a theory. I'm fairly new to these forums. Never been to an Al Anon meeting. I've been listening to the Codependent No More audio book for weeks now. No contact just means I'm not contacting him at all. For me, it's not healthy to be around active drinkers. If he's going to drink, that's his choice. For me, I have to choose to not be a part of his life. I can't help him. Only he can help himself.
There IS a theory about "detachment" though. Have you heard of that? It sounds like you don't plan on leaving her, so if you're going to stay, I would really recommend getting the book, "Codependent No More" and really read that chapter on detachment. I'm sure it will help a lot.
There IS a theory about "detachment" though. Have you heard of that? It sounds like you don't plan on leaving her, so if you're going to stay, I would really recommend getting the book, "Codependent No More" and really read that chapter on detachment. I'm sure it will help a lot.
Damn.
basIam, it just sucks. I couldn't be more sorry.
How are you handling this news going forward?
There are many others watching a loved one relapse out there, they could learn from watch you're working through.
Keep posting, we're listening
Alice
basIam, it just sucks. I couldn't be more sorry.
How are you handling this news going forward?
There are many others watching a loved one relapse out there, they could learn from watch you're working through.
Keep posting, we're listening
Alice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: far left of center
Posts: 237
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
basIam I am sorry. The work you do will pay off for you. Her work is hers.
Imjust: No contact is the idea that the alcoholic in your life is wreaking havoc on your life, and one way to kickstart detachment is to have no contact at all. It can be difficult if you have children, but, even though I have a son with mine, the time that I went no contact was the best time I had in years. Al Anon is a great support network, also.
Imjust: No contact is the idea that the alcoholic in your life is wreaking havoc on your life, and one way to kickstart detachment is to have no contact at all. It can be difficult if you have children, but, even though I have a son with mine, the time that I went no contact was the best time I had in years. Al Anon is a great support network, also.
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