MissFixit

Hi,

I have posted a problem like this before, but it is continuing and I need a few opinions.

My good family friend has been sharing things I confide in her to my family. In the past I have asked her not to do this and she has stopped doing it. However, she has gone back to gossiping again. I know she believes that she is helping but I am very frustrated that she discusses private things about me.

I went for a while without talking to her. No argument, but I kept distance. She is a long time friend and I appreciate our relationship, but she does not repsect my boundaries. Do you guys think not speaking to her is the only way to stop the gossip?

Thanks,

Miss

Carol Star

I have a friend like this and I have to remind her I am only confiding in her and for her not to repeat what I say.

Kittyboo

I think sharing personal things with her is the way to stop the gossip.

I have learned I have different friends for different things. Each one can bring something positive into my life. But if someone shares something I ask them not to share, then I don't share those things with them anymore, period.

If you have already expressed your feelings to her, and she has not respected that, then I don't think it's a tough decision.
You can keep her in your life if you choose, just stop telling her personal stuff.

NewMe11109

I have learned that sometimes we can't change people (sound familiar).

Some people just like to gossip and unfortunately, won't stop even if asked (as they will justify to themselves why they should tell).

So, I just limit what information I give them. I can still be a nice friend but can't confide as I used to.

Peace2All

My suggestion would be to go back to basics. Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can. Your friend seems unwilling or unable to change her behavior, so accept it. Focus on what you can change: how YOU interact with your friend. Life is rarely so black and white that you need to choose between sharing your deepest secrets or shut her out completely. You can maintain friendship, but don't tell her anything you wouldn't want your family to know.

If she recognizes this change in you and questions you about it, you can politely tell her that you're uncomfortable telling her things about your family because of her past disclosures. Then she'll either have to accept the new boundaries of the relationship or she might change herself.

Just my opinion/suggestion. Take what you want and leave the rest.