nonamebrand

After reading some of the stories on this site, I realize that I have it pretty good. I just want to keep it that way.

I'm a model currently in a city far away from home and the lifestyle is wearing me down. Everything you've maybe heard about the stereotypical model life is true, I'm sad to say. I'm doing too much coke, and it's impossible to stop because it's free for models. The purest best coke you could ask for, any time you want, for free. Along with as much alcohol as you want - every single night. My nose is so stuffed up.. not bleeding or anything, just my nostrils feel so dry and I have to use a nose spray to be able to breathe at night. The problem is, my friends here do it as well, and we have such an amazing time together when we're out, that if I want to stop coke I have to hibernate in my room and be depressed in a place they don't even speak english. I would love to be in the mindset to go out during the day and do the touristy things and have REAL memories when I leave, but it seems like every city I'm in is one big blur.
I don't even know what I'm trying to gain by posting here but can't hurt...

ANGELINA243

Welcome! Glad you are here You will find much support here. Question is--do you really want to stop using? I knew I needed to quit long before I actually wanted to stop. You are not alone. We do recover.

nonamebrand

I see it the same way I see smoking cigarettes. want to be clean, but I don't want to actually go through the process of changing my lifestyle and that's what it comes down to. Everybody knows the right thing to do is just stop but it's never that simple. I don't think I'm 'addicted' to coke yet, it's much like if somebody offers you some wine and you love wine so you think why not. I don't go looking for it and like I said, never pay for it. But I do know that I have an addictive personality (smoker) and I don't want to get to the point where it becomes a serious issue. Any advice? And any tips on how to make my nose feel better? Thanks

Dee74

Don't do coke.

I know - sounds like a wiseguy answer, but it's really not.

I used to be a musician - not a star, but I made a living....

the free drugs and booze and parties made it 'impossible' for me to stop too...until the drugs booze and parties became the important thing, and I lost my career.

It happened so imperceptibly, and I was so much in denial about the situation, I never saw the end coming until it was a mile past me down the road.

Good for you for coming here now.

I hope you read some things that help you, or at least make you think, nonamebrand.

D

nonamebrand

I know that obviously I should stop doing coke. I'm not brain dead, and I think about it all the time. I'm not even 20 yet, I know I have my whole life ahead of me. Part of me just wants to enjoy it as much as I can right now because in a week I'm going on a vacation by myself and just going to lie on the beach for a few months and I know that will be a better lifestyle. But for the moment, surely somebody knows something to make my nose feel better?

Dee74

That really is the best way I know.
We're a recovery site NNB, we're not a site to help you use more comfortably.

Try Google.

D

nonamebrand

Big mistake coming here. Nevermind

windysan

coke is gross

Timebuster

No it wasn’t - read this.

http://www.cocaine.org/misc/catwalk.html

bval

You know what's a bigger mistake?

Leaving here ...

Four or five years down the road from now, you'll understand what I meant ...

We'll see ya then

change4penny

I agree BV. It's a hard thing to swallow, knowing that you flushed ten years down the toilet....I know this, because I did it.
NNB If you're reading this, please take it from me, a recovering opiate/cocaine addict...the 'fun' of using coke, will quickly turn into the 'need' to use coke. It will completely take you down a road of self destruction. Stop now before you too lose ten years, or before you lose your life.

Penny

freddie4621

I readnonamebrand's postings with the knowledge of 59 years behind me and I shudder to thinkaboyt it. It all begins there I thought, with the good times and paties and denial. And then, one day, you're not invited anymore!