REZ

November 25


Meditation

“Quieting the mind through meditation brings an inner peace that brings us into contact with the God within us.”

Basic Text, p. 45

––––=––––

As our recovery progresses, we often reflect on what brought us to Narcotics Anonymous in the first place and are able to appreciate how much the quality of our lives has improved. We no longer have to fear our own thoughts. And the more we pray and meditate, the more we experience a calm sense of well-being. The peace and tranquility we experience during our quiet times confirms that our most important needs—our spiritual needs—are being met.

We are able to empathize with other addicts and strengthen our conscience in the process. We learn to avoid judging others and experience the freedom to be ourselves. In our spiritual reflection, we intuitively find “the God within us” and see that we are in harmony with a Power greater than ourselves.

––––=––––

Just for today: I will reflect upon the gift of recovery and listen quietly for my Higher Power’s guidance.

REZ

In prayer, I talk to God; in meditation, I listen. I need to take time each day to listen to what God has to say to me. It doesn't take any special skills to meditate. All you need is to make some time to be quiet.

Threshold

I feel really discouraged today. Exhausted and worn down body and soul. I feel hopeless. And this day is packed...preparing for Thanksgiving, how ironic, no time to prepare, soulwise, for gratitude. Kids home, cooking to be done, NA meeting to attend (two) an NA dinner tonight..more cooking for that. The kitchen is a wreck...and I am recovering from surgery, in pain, unable to do much, but there is so much to do.

Meditate?! I know I need to. I know I don't have what it takes physically to get through this day, something needs to go. I know I don't have what it takes spiritually to get through recovery...I am feeling discouraged about my recovery, my whole life looms up before me and I am not up to the task.

then I come here...Just For Today...whew...

Maybe I will forgo that second meeting and the NA dinner, maybe there is another aspect of my recovery...physical and spiritual, that I need to attend to..give my body a break and find the time to meditate. I can't get away to my usual sanctuary, I cannot yet drive that far. And finding quiet here today with the kids home and the grandbaby around doesn't seem likely.

But I need to somehow feel a connection with a HP. I am new to recovery and so removed from anything like a HP...I feel so hopeless and completely and utterly faithless.

I just don't know

REZ

Two NA meetings and an NA dinner on Thanksgiving seems like too much NA stuff to me. Being a part of the NA fellowship is great, but we need to strive for balance in our recovery.
One thing that happens to me often during the holidays is getting over-committed. It is important for me to let go of some commitments and focus on what I really need to do. I still keep first things first (working the NA program etc.) but I have can't do everything.

Threshold

I went to my meeting at noon, got my 30 day tag. That's it, no night meeting and I will skip the NA dinner...I need to let my body heal.

So...I am home now. Made some pies, now it's quiet time and to bed time for me...I need to be off my feet for several hours.

I am new to this, and don't know what balance is yet...I am so terrified of relapse that I probably do over do the NA stuff, but I have no relationship with a HP...so NA IS my HP for now.. the only thing keeping me hanging on.

I am trying to balance this with letting my body heal and being here for family...trying to salvage a marriage...but that too...is taxing on the body, having a nice dinner for him when he comes home, trying to get cleaning done, then when he gets here I am exhausted and in pain, but try to spend a pleasant evening with him...all while NOT taking the pain meds, because I desperately need to stay clean.

I know, I am whining...I am just trying desperately to find some balance, and address all these important issues at the same time. I can't let my recovery slip, or my marriage or my health....but I don['t seem able to devote the time and energy to them that they require.

sounds like I need LOTS of meditation huh...

serenity, I pray for it, but I am afraid I wouldn't recognize it if it bit me on the butt.

got told this morning I have my head in my a**

anyone have a crow bar?