Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Controlling Versus Trust

There was a time in my life when I felt so afraid of and overwhelmed by the very act of living that I actually wanted to make out a schedule for each day of my life for the next five years. I wanted to include all the chores I had to do, when I would do them, even when I would schedule relaxation. I wanted to get some order into what felt overwhelming. I wanted to feel like I was in control.
—Anonymous

Controlling is a direct response to our fear, panic, and sense of helplessness. It is a direct response to feeling overwhelmed, and to distrust.

We may not trust ourselves, our Higher Power, the Plan, the Universe, or the process of life. Instead of trusting, we revert to control.

We can approach this need to control by dealing with our fear. We deal with fear by trusting - ourselves, our Higher Power, the love and support of the Universe, the Plan, and this process we call life and recovery.

We can trust that when things don't work out the way we want, God has something better planned.

We can trust ourselves to get where we need to go, say what we need to say, do what we need to do, know what we need to know, be who we need to be, and become all we can become, when we are intended to do that, when we are ready, and when the time is right.

We can trust our Higher Power and the Universe to give us all the direction we need.

We can trust ourselves to listen, and respond, accordingly.

We can trust that all we need on this journey shall come to us. We will not get all we need for the entire journey today. We shall receive today's supplies today, and tomorrow's supplies tomorrow. We were never intended to carry supplies for the entire journey. The burden would be too heavy, and the way was intended to be light.

Trust in yourself. We do not have to plan, control, and schedule all things. The schedule and plan have been written. All we need to do is show up.

The way will become clear and the supplies will be amply and clearly provided, one day at a time.

Trust, my friend, in today.

Today, I will trust that I will receive all I need to get me through today. I will trust that the same shall happen tomorrow.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

My mother used to refer to this as "our daily bread". She never needed the entire loaf, just enough courage to make it through today. She was a wise woman and today I appreciate the lessons she tried to teach me.

A gift of recovery, for me, has been trust. I can trust that even when I have planned well, but God has other plans, that His plan will be better in the end and take me where I need to go. I can trust that I will survive the journey and be better for the lessons I learn along the way.

Recovery didn't come to me in one flash of enlightenment, it came in small light bulb moments when what those who went before me said began to make sense. It came in baby steps, and sometimes I got stuck in the mud, but it came and is still coming as I continue to learn.

Today I control what I can, which is mainly my own thoughts and behaviour, and leave the rest to my higher power that I choose to call God. Today I trust that I will be led and let life take me there.

Hugs

wuzzled

This pretty much sums it up for me. I feel fear, panic and helpless. I most definitely feel OVERWHELMED!

This helps me understand where the need to control comes from. I have been trying to learn to let go, but i am so afraid.

thank you ann for this post.