Serious dysfunction!
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Serious dysfunction!
So on my last thread I had written about dysfunction with my friend/roommate. I was really getting past the issues from last week and was more sad than anything over not knowing how to handle the situation in a healthy way and really just wanting the whole thing to go away.
This morning she did not say anything to me intially and I didn't feel like talking either. As she was walking out the door she asked if I was mad at her for some reason. I paused before answering as I wasn't really sure what to say since I'm not really mad just sad that things were going the way they were. I said no, I'm not mad. She went out to her barn for a bit and I went down to my computer to work.
After a short time she came to the basement door and asked if I had a minute to talk. I didn't right then but started to say I would be up to talk to her. She said then she would make it quick. She told me that she still gets the sense that I am angry with her and she thinks it's best if I'm out of the house by the weekend. I told her I was looking at another place this week and started to ask if she could just sit down and talk to me about this She cut me off and said that she has tried to understand my situation and has been more than accomodating. She said she is under a lot stress right now and does not have time for this she says I have family and ways to deal with this and that's all she's going to say on the subject. I tried to talk to her and tell her that I just don't know how to take what she says to me and I don't know why she is so angry with me but she just angrily snapped back that she expects me out by the weekend okay and shut the door.
So I have a place lined up to see tomorrow. This is my last shot. I can only pray that it works out for me and that it's actually available and not rented to someone else like all the others have been.
I can only pray I can wrangle some help moving my things and my pets.
Didn't I already go through this a couple of months ago???
Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
Alice
This morning she did not say anything to me intially and I didn't feel like talking either. As she was walking out the door she asked if I was mad at her for some reason. I paused before answering as I wasn't really sure what to say since I'm not really mad just sad that things were going the way they were. I said no, I'm not mad. She went out to her barn for a bit and I went down to my computer to work.
After a short time she came to the basement door and asked if I had a minute to talk. I didn't right then but started to say I would be up to talk to her. She said then she would make it quick. She told me that she still gets the sense that I am angry with her and she thinks it's best if I'm out of the house by the weekend. I told her I was looking at another place this week and started to ask if she could just sit down and talk to me about this She cut me off and said that she has tried to understand my situation and has been more than accomodating. She said she is under a lot stress right now and does not have time for this she says I have family and ways to deal with this and that's all she's going to say on the subject. I tried to talk to her and tell her that I just don't know how to take what she says to me and I don't know why she is so angry with me but she just angrily snapped back that she expects me out by the weekend okay and shut the door.
So I have a place lined up to see tomorrow. This is my last shot. I can only pray that it works out for me and that it's actually available and not rented to someone else like all the others have been.
I can only pray I can wrangle some help moving my things and my pets.
Didn't I already go through this a couple of months ago???
Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
Alice
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Thank you Anvil, TC, and DeVon for your replies on the other thread. I thought I'd just continue on this thread since it has the continuation of my current crisis on it.
I thought a lot of you all yesterday when I was driving back from my let down at the perfect little cottage. I thought of your struggles and how things change and how you adapt to it. It's not a smooth ride by any means but you hold on tight and get through it. I've just got to do the same.
I have a supportive family and I have friends who I've met along the way who are also lending their support. I know I will make it to the other side of this and probably breath a sigh of relief over leaving. It's with this faith that I'll get through it that seems to leave me sooo sad. Sad because while I'll get through it one way or another, my friend cannot see beyond her own fear, and I don't know if we will be friends after this.
I've backed away from her to try to alleviate her stress and it is that act that seems to have tossed her clean over the edge! I was angry and hurt over the last week. The anger passed and the hurt remained and in response I get hurt again.
I thought a lot of you all yesterday when I was driving back from my let down at the perfect little cottage. I thought of your struggles and how things change and how you adapt to it. It's not a smooth ride by any means but you hold on tight and get through it. I've just got to do the same.
I have a supportive family and I have friends who I've met along the way who are also lending their support. I know I will make it to the other side of this and probably breath a sigh of relief over leaving. It's with this faith that I'll get through it that seems to leave me sooo sad. Sad because while I'll get through it one way or another, my friend cannot see beyond her own fear, and I don't know if we will be friends after this.
I've backed away from her to try to alleviate her stress and it is that act that seems to have tossed her clean over the edge! I was angry and hurt over the last week. The anger passed and the hurt remained and in response I get hurt again.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
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Hey Itsmealice its funny because when i start with my drama i think about your trip on the road with the pets and that gives me strength!!
Perhaps the friend is under other kinds of stress and taking it out on you, no justification but well after sharing and some time maybe the friendship comes back? when I notice life is just a set of scenes with diff. actors/actresses and they have their own script and timing... I can let go of people more easily... surprisingly some come back many scenes later. Some don't and you got to have faith its for the best and their role was secondary....
My therapist said I never lose anyone because I have the best of them in my memories and my heart... wise woman!
I don't know what got me but here I am at work wanting to cry for the NTH time... I am afraid of the legal stuff and losing money.. I think I have to pay rent until some other unfortunate soul rents it... I couldn't afford two rents at the same time and another deposit, and maybe a penalty for early termination of contract
How horrible not to feel ok at your own home... I get stressed even thinking about the noise and a bad night again. I just cancelled my vacations for this year, there is no way I would afford anything after this.. $$
I am really angry with God right now... one breathe at a time... just today, just today... tomorrow we will deal with tomorrow.
Oh sorry, this is not the Whiners Anonymous forum??
Perhaps the friend is under other kinds of stress and taking it out on you, no justification but well after sharing and some time maybe the friendship comes back? when I notice life is just a set of scenes with diff. actors/actresses and they have their own script and timing... I can let go of people more easily... surprisingly some come back many scenes later. Some don't and you got to have faith its for the best and their role was secondary....
My therapist said I never lose anyone because I have the best of them in my memories and my heart... wise woman!
I don't know what got me but here I am at work wanting to cry for the NTH time... I am afraid of the legal stuff and losing money.. I think I have to pay rent until some other unfortunate soul rents it... I couldn't afford two rents at the same time and another deposit, and maybe a penalty for early termination of contract
How horrible not to feel ok at your own home... I get stressed even thinking about the noise and a bad night again. I just cancelled my vacations for this year, there is no way I would afford anything after this.. $$
I am really angry with God right now... one breathe at a time... just today, just today... tomorrow we will deal with tomorrow.
Oh sorry, this is not the Whiners Anonymous forum??
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I just sent an email to the reale estate agent explaining my situation, there is some legal stuff going on and I want to terminate the contract even if its not even finished yet, LOL
Sorr itsmealice.. for complaining in your thread...!! I understand the frustration so much... as theoretically I have until the 15 paid in my old apartment I may bring my old sleeping bag and sleep there for now.
Sorr itsmealice.. for complaining in your thread...!! I understand the frustration so much... as theoretically I have until the 15 paid in my old apartment I may bring my old sleeping bag and sleep there for now.
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TC, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Maybe Whiner's Anonymous isn't for us but rather a Group for the Residentially Challenged!
Yesterday, I thought specifically of you sitting outside that apartment and calling the number you just happened to see on the sign and it lifting you up from your despair when what you went out to look at wasn't going to work.
I was inspired by this vision of you and I bought two of those classified ad papers with everything in them from A to Z and I sat in my car reading each rental ad in the hopes one would pop up as your new place had popped up for you. When I didn't find anything suitable, I thought my Higher Power must have something else in mind. I still thought it would have made a great story to tell if I had been inspired by you and ended up receiving the same good luck.
I'm so sorry that your luck didn't turn out to be so good, and I'm sorry that what was a blessing for me turned out to be a burden for my friend.
On the bright side, which I can't believe I can still find a bright side, is that I am getting much better at this stuff. I've wrangled the moving help, I've reserved the truck, I've worked out my emergency plan should all other avenues fail, which entails putting my belongings in my parent's garage and shacking up with my pets in a pay-by-week motel until I find housing. My horses have a place to stay as long as they need, which is a huge weight off my shoulders this time around.
I'm so afraid that she's going to come home and if I say or do the wrong thing she'll start throwing my things out on the lawn. I've done what she's asked me to do around here and I've stayed out of her way because of the stressed way she's been acting and that has gotten me from get out by Nov 1 to get out by the weekend. What should I do now, hover over her to keep her from calling the cops to drag me out?
I go from mad to sad to mad to sad to mad to sad. My head hurts.
Alice
Yesterday, I thought specifically of you sitting outside that apartment and calling the number you just happened to see on the sign and it lifting you up from your despair when what you went out to look at wasn't going to work.
I was inspired by this vision of you and I bought two of those classified ad papers with everything in them from A to Z and I sat in my car reading each rental ad in the hopes one would pop up as your new place had popped up for you. When I didn't find anything suitable, I thought my Higher Power must have something else in mind. I still thought it would have made a great story to tell if I had been inspired by you and ended up receiving the same good luck.
I'm so sorry that your luck didn't turn out to be so good, and I'm sorry that what was a blessing for me turned out to be a burden for my friend.
On the bright side, which I can't believe I can still find a bright side, is that I am getting much better at this stuff. I've wrangled the moving help, I've reserved the truck, I've worked out my emergency plan should all other avenues fail, which entails putting my belongings in my parent's garage and shacking up with my pets in a pay-by-week motel until I find housing. My horses have a place to stay as long as they need, which is a huge weight off my shoulders this time around.
I'm so afraid that she's going to come home and if I say or do the wrong thing she'll start throwing my things out on the lawn. I've done what she's asked me to do around here and I've stayed out of her way because of the stressed way she's been acting and that has gotten me from get out by Nov 1 to get out by the weekend. What should I do now, hover over her to keep her from calling the cops to drag me out?
I go from mad to sad to mad to sad to mad to sad. My head hurts.
Alice
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
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I moved into the rental house I'm currently in back in 1995, along with a now ex-roommate. It's a big old honking house built in the 20's, 2 story, 3 bedrooms with another room big enough for a bedroom but no closet.
It was fairly 'nice' when we moved in. Some of the carpeting was sort of new, and some was pretty bad already. I kicked the ex-roommate to the curb a year later because he was emotionally and verbally abusive.
I never had any intentions of being here this long. My landlord owns most of the houses on this block. Most he rents out to transient type folks, usually with drug/alcohol problems.
I can't tell you how many times the police have been in this neighbohood over the past 14 years. I had one guy who got cold-cocked in my front yard after a drunken fight moved from across the street. I thought he was dead. The police and an ambulance were here.
My house finally got painted on the exterior this year. You can only imagine what it looked like beforehand after 14 years (and the landlord buys the cheapest supplies-paint, carpeting, etc).
My main sewer line backs up at least once a year. My furnace and central air both seem to need repairs once a year.
I've done all the interior work in the house, including installing ceiling fans in all rooms but the kitchen. Getting my landlord to do anything is like pulling teeth, and you can ask any of the locals here, and they know that!
Is it ideal? Hell no!
But for now, it's 'home'. Since the 21 year old has exited the premises, I have actually started to see light at the end of the tunnel on getting the place cleaned up! I've been eyeballing some cheapo home decorating stuff at the Dollar General store just to personalize the place a bit more. I haven't thought of doing stuff like that in years!
My dogs do have a fenced-in back yard (that I put up along with my ex-fiance). I have a roof over my head, food in the cupboards/refrigerator. I have hot water to take a nice long shower with. Granted I don't have cable TV, but since I got a converter box and a new antenna for the digital conversion, I get twice as many channels now!
I'm sitting here at a computer that's a little over a year old thanks to Vo-Rehab (lightning took my last one out in May of 2008), I've got a job, and my brain cells are still working well enough to be doing that college degree thing.
Sometimes I've really got to simplify things, look at the 'what I do have' as opposed to 'what I'd like or don't have'.
Really, things are pretty good on this end.
It was fairly 'nice' when we moved in. Some of the carpeting was sort of new, and some was pretty bad already. I kicked the ex-roommate to the curb a year later because he was emotionally and verbally abusive.
I never had any intentions of being here this long. My landlord owns most of the houses on this block. Most he rents out to transient type folks, usually with drug/alcohol problems.
I can't tell you how many times the police have been in this neighbohood over the past 14 years. I had one guy who got cold-cocked in my front yard after a drunken fight moved from across the street. I thought he was dead. The police and an ambulance were here.
My house finally got painted on the exterior this year. You can only imagine what it looked like beforehand after 14 years (and the landlord buys the cheapest supplies-paint, carpeting, etc).
My main sewer line backs up at least once a year. My furnace and central air both seem to need repairs once a year.
I've done all the interior work in the house, including installing ceiling fans in all rooms but the kitchen. Getting my landlord to do anything is like pulling teeth, and you can ask any of the locals here, and they know that!
Is it ideal? Hell no!
But for now, it's 'home'. Since the 21 year old has exited the premises, I have actually started to see light at the end of the tunnel on getting the place cleaned up! I've been eyeballing some cheapo home decorating stuff at the Dollar General store just to personalize the place a bit more. I haven't thought of doing stuff like that in years!
My dogs do have a fenced-in back yard (that I put up along with my ex-fiance). I have a roof over my head, food in the cupboards/refrigerator. I have hot water to take a nice long shower with. Granted I don't have cable TV, but since I got a converter box and a new antenna for the digital conversion, I get twice as many channels now!
I'm sitting here at a computer that's a little over a year old thanks to Vo-Rehab (lightning took my last one out in May of 2008), I've got a job, and my brain cells are still working well enough to be doing that college degree thing.
Sometimes I've really got to simplify things, look at the 'what I do have' as opposed to 'what I'd like or don't have'.
Really, things are pretty good on this end.
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DeVon, you've lifted my spirits and a refresher on counting my blessings is always good to have whether I feel like doing any counting or not.
I've had dreams of a place like yours. Don't care of the paint's cracking or the cupboard doors are falling off or the fridge makes weird noises when it rains. I just want peace. I thought I paid enough of a price for peace here. Now, with your sharing have reminding me that peace can be work in progress but it remains priceless.
The sky is a crystal blue today. Sounds like it's shining where you are, even if it's only metaphorically.
I've had dreams of a place like yours. Don't care of the paint's cracking or the cupboard doors are falling off or the fridge makes weird noises when it rains. I just want peace. I thought I paid enough of a price for peace here. Now, with your sharing have reminding me that peace can be work in progress but it remains priceless.
The sky is a crystal blue today. Sounds like it's shining where you are, even if it's only metaphorically.
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Actually it's windy, cloudy, and chilly enough that I have the furnace on!
Got any sort of favorite knick knack, stuffed animal, just something you can keep in your immediate proximity of where you are staying now?
:ghug2 :ghug2
Got any sort of favorite knick knack, stuffed animal, just something you can keep in your immediate proximity of where you are staying now?
:ghug2 :ghug2
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Here you go, Alice, my poorly insulated but with a spiffy paint job abode.
And look! This house even comes with a very unique crockpot!
(when all else fails, my zoo crew always makes me laugh, every day)
And look! This house even comes with a very unique crockpot!
(when all else fails, my zoo crew always makes me laugh, every day)
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Me too Alice, me too. Today we share feelings 100%. I'm so glad I'm not alone in this.
I'm hungry, tired, with a headache, afraid and feel alone and without help.
Hope you don't mind me writing down my own Plan B
1
Well, I'm thinking, I already paid for this month and a deposit that could cover November.
If I talk with the lady she may be agreeable and just remove the contract by mutual agreement. No extra fees or anything.
2
Write to my dad and sister. Call mom. Tell them all if they want to visit me they may consider arriving to a hotel, because I have no idea where I will be and it stresses me to think about their arrival. Tell dad I won't visit this Christmas because that adds stress and I have other money concerns right now.
3
I asked the reale state agents if they could look for a different place for me. They accept me even without backup so they can convince the future landlords of the other legal ways to protect them.
4
I can sleep on the old apartment for 2 weeks. I got a sleeping bag there. Whew thanks to you I realized this is an option for me. So I will sleep better tonight. (Sigh of relief)
5
The cat. I may leave it with a nice ex neighbor. I know of a hotel for pets. I may ask the one who gave it to me to provide housing. She adopts cats and I know she would be able to assist (thanks, this hadn't occured to me)
6
Furniture. I don't think I can afford storage.
I can donate my bed. The mattress was not good for my back anyway (and it was really expensive). I can donate everything....
7
Call guy who fixes things and ask if there is any way to add an extra window on my current bedroom or some way to prevent noise in there...
8
Consider camping in one of the bathrooms... yup...paying a huge amoung of money to end sleeping on a cold floor... lol.
9
Looking into hostels... I may store some stuff with bf..and stay at a hostel..of course I already imagine myself trying to sleep around a bunch of drunkards... man, I'm so f*cked up.
Or maybe look for a room in someone's home...
PS NICE PICS!!
I'm hungry, tired, with a headache, afraid and feel alone and without help.
Hope you don't mind me writing down my own Plan B
1
Well, I'm thinking, I already paid for this month and a deposit that could cover November.
If I talk with the lady she may be agreeable and just remove the contract by mutual agreement. No extra fees or anything.
2
Write to my dad and sister. Call mom. Tell them all if they want to visit me they may consider arriving to a hotel, because I have no idea where I will be and it stresses me to think about their arrival. Tell dad I won't visit this Christmas because that adds stress and I have other money concerns right now.
3
I asked the reale state agents if they could look for a different place for me. They accept me even without backup so they can convince the future landlords of the other legal ways to protect them.
4
I can sleep on the old apartment for 2 weeks. I got a sleeping bag there. Whew thanks to you I realized this is an option for me. So I will sleep better tonight. (Sigh of relief)
5
The cat. I may leave it with a nice ex neighbor. I know of a hotel for pets. I may ask the one who gave it to me to provide housing. She adopts cats and I know she would be able to assist (thanks, this hadn't occured to me)
6
Furniture. I don't think I can afford storage.
I can donate my bed. The mattress was not good for my back anyway (and it was really expensive). I can donate everything....
7
Call guy who fixes things and ask if there is any way to add an extra window on my current bedroom or some way to prevent noise in there...
8
Consider camping in one of the bathrooms... yup...paying a huge amoung of money to end sleeping on a cold floor... lol.
9
Looking into hostels... I may store some stuff with bf..and stay at a hostel..of course I already imagine myself trying to sleep around a bunch of drunkards... man, I'm so f*cked up.
Or maybe look for a room in someone's home...
PS NICE PICS!!
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TC, I love the process of your thought in motion. Together we can inspire each other to in ways we wouldn't achieve alone. This is why I'm here.
I've got to learn to work through these kinds of life changing events in healthier ways and understand that the steps in recovery from my addict/codependent relationship will carry me through other aspects of my life as well. The addict may be gone now, but my reactions to stress still need to grow and change for the better.
Still Waters is right, she was very stressed when I arrived. She had me in tears at one point and then left me stranded after making it clear she didn't want me to have any family or friends come to house to help unload my things.
During my time here, she has admitted to her problems handling stress and agreed to talk to me the next time rather than blow up. She clearly forgot about that talk. I realize there is nothing I can do to help her. Even if I she recanted it all and asked for my help or said I could stay till the end of the month again, I have to accept that she is unlikely to change. She has focused her frustrations on me and will just have to deal with own problems on her own. As she so squarely pointed out to me.....it's not my problem.
Now I'm going mad to sad to indifferent to mad to sad to indifferent. My head still hurts.
Alice
I've got to learn to work through these kinds of life changing events in healthier ways and understand that the steps in recovery from my addict/codependent relationship will carry me through other aspects of my life as well. The addict may be gone now, but my reactions to stress still need to grow and change for the better.
Still Waters is right, she was very stressed when I arrived. She had me in tears at one point and then left me stranded after making it clear she didn't want me to have any family or friends come to house to help unload my things.
During my time here, she has admitted to her problems handling stress and agreed to talk to me the next time rather than blow up. She clearly forgot about that talk. I realize there is nothing I can do to help her. Even if I she recanted it all and asked for my help or said I could stay till the end of the month again, I have to accept that she is unlikely to change. She has focused her frustrations on me and will just have to deal with own problems on her own. As she so squarely pointed out to me.....it's not my problem.
Now I'm going mad to sad to indifferent to mad to sad to indifferent. My head still hurts.
Alice
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
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Alice, your situation is sad, and I am sorry that you are dealing with this on top of everything else.
If I did one thing right in my life, it was that I encouraged my two adult girls to live on their own and be responsible for their own bills, their own place and to enjoy the freedom that it offers. The oldest of the two had nothing but problems with roommates, and although it may seem easier to split the bills with someone...there are always those little things they do that drive you nuts. They both live completely on their own, and while their places may not be perfect, I am proud of how independent they have become.
This too shall pass...and remember that everything in life happens for a reason.
If I did one thing right in my life, it was that I encouraged my two adult girls to live on their own and be responsible for their own bills, their own place and to enjoy the freedom that it offers. The oldest of the two had nothing but problems with roommates, and although it may seem easier to split the bills with someone...there are always those little things they do that drive you nuts. They both live completely on their own, and while their places may not be perfect, I am proud of how independent they have become.
This too shall pass...and remember that everything in life happens for a reason.
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7PM and still at the job, afraid of going to the apartment
Will work until 930, go to my "new apartment" to change to my pijamas, clean the cat's litter, kiss it and then go to my "old apartment" with some bags. Pick up some stuff. Wait for bf. Hug him. Sleep. Wake up earlier so I can go to my new apartment and take a bath and leave for work...
I paid 1200 dollars for this...
I chatted with a friend and she told me we may share her house.. problem: she doesn't want cats, problem: no place for my car and its not what I would say a safe area... she will travel and we may talk when she comes back... at least I will be with someone I trust and have a ceiling above my head. She told me "I could have rented a room before, why didn't you tell me"
.......
She owns property here but has not paid some dues to back me up for an apartment of my own... I was like WHY can you go to Europe and not pay this, so you can support ME and I can finally be happy???
I am afraid of starting my plans but I will wait until I get a copy of my contract (with a lawyer right now) to talk to the current landlord. Real estate agent has not answered yet.
I have noticed when I have more money I'm more afraid I'll lose it, and here we go I will lose what I just bought for nothing, another good lesson in dettachment.
As if it were that big a deal, I can make the same amount in 2 weeks... sheesh... you are right itsmealice, we got a lot to learn... how can I go about this without drama???? is my question
I recall when my balance was zero I got exactly what I needed and I was happier. Sheesh.
Perhaps I go to the terrace later or tomorrow and do some yoga with earplugs on. God I need it but it may be too noisy even with earplugs... I will see.. in any case.. I will just keep breathing....
Itsme hope you get good rest tonight.
Will work until 930, go to my "new apartment" to change to my pijamas, clean the cat's litter, kiss it and then go to my "old apartment" with some bags. Pick up some stuff. Wait for bf. Hug him. Sleep. Wake up earlier so I can go to my new apartment and take a bath and leave for work...
I paid 1200 dollars for this...
I chatted with a friend and she told me we may share her house.. problem: she doesn't want cats, problem: no place for my car and its not what I would say a safe area... she will travel and we may talk when she comes back... at least I will be with someone I trust and have a ceiling above my head. She told me "I could have rented a room before, why didn't you tell me"
.......
She owns property here but has not paid some dues to back me up for an apartment of my own... I was like WHY can you go to Europe and not pay this, so you can support ME and I can finally be happy???
I am afraid of starting my plans but I will wait until I get a copy of my contract (with a lawyer right now) to talk to the current landlord. Real estate agent has not answered yet.
I have noticed when I have more money I'm more afraid I'll lose it, and here we go I will lose what I just bought for nothing, another good lesson in dettachment.
As if it were that big a deal, I can make the same amount in 2 weeks... sheesh... you are right itsmealice, we got a lot to learn... how can I go about this without drama???? is my question
I recall when my balance was zero I got exactly what I needed and I was happier. Sheesh.
Perhaps I go to the terrace later or tomorrow and do some yoga with earplugs on. God I need it but it may be too noisy even with earplugs... I will see.. in any case.. I will just keep breathing....
Itsme hope you get good rest tonight.
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Called the guy that fixes things, tomorrow at 6 he will arrive to see if he can add some sponge thingies to the windows and doors to reduce noise... I'll see how much it costs... I am willing to try at least one window and see if there is any difference.
Sent email to sis and dad saying, "don't count with me these months", I feel better and less stressed about them.
Cancelled my requested vacations at work. I thought "what would give ME more peace?" and that is to keep working and seeing about my life here, I am in no mood to spend more money.
Small steps... I just want to cry again
sheesh Murphy's Law is the only eternal thing!!
Sent email to sis and dad saying, "don't count with me these months", I feel better and less stressed about them.
Cancelled my requested vacations at work. I thought "what would give ME more peace?" and that is to keep working and seeing about my life here, I am in no mood to spend more money.
Small steps... I just want to cry again
sheesh Murphy's Law is the only eternal thing!!
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Posts: 1,888
Well, I've made more calls and talked to the neighbor with my horses. They are all set and she'll feed them as I need until I can get moved if I have to leave the immediate area and can't get back for a couple of days. Not ideal, but a blessing.
I've also got a room rental set up with another aquaintence who's been renting out for years. He just let a guy go with 30 days notice for lack of payment. At least, if I have to live with housemates, it will be with a contract and someone who knows how to act like a landlord and not a juvenile. This set up is my back up plan. I am still praying to all that is holy that the cottage I want to see tomorrow will work out.
The moving truck is reserved. I've started packing. All I can do tonite is get a little work done and try to get a good rest.
Stay safe TC and hang in there!!!
Alice
I've also got a room rental set up with another aquaintence who's been renting out for years. He just let a guy go with 30 days notice for lack of payment. At least, if I have to live with housemates, it will be with a contract and someone who knows how to act like a landlord and not a juvenile. This set up is my back up plan. I am still praying to all that is holy that the cottage I want to see tomorrow will work out.
The moving truck is reserved. I've started packing. All I can do tonite is get a little work done and try to get a good rest.
Stay safe TC and hang in there!!!
Alice
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington State
Posts: 75
I hope the cottage works out.
Even if I've spent a month worrying about being negative ninty five cents in the bank, putting on sweaters instead of turning the furnace on, thinking how nice it'd be to buy carrots . . . the sky is clear, Orion was out this morning, the moon has been full, and I'm safe.
Always looking up, always allowing the universe to come in and for things to change for the better. I smiled thinking of reading the A . . Z apartment guide. I keep looking for a used sewing machine to make Christmas presents and think at some point the universe is going to set one down in a Goodwill shop where I can find it!
Peace & good luck in the housing search!
Even if I've spent a month worrying about being negative ninty five cents in the bank, putting on sweaters instead of turning the furnace on, thinking how nice it'd be to buy carrots . . . the sky is clear, Orion was out this morning, the moon has been full, and I'm safe.
I've got to learn to work through these kinds of life changing events in healthier ways and understand that the steps in recovery from my addict/codependent relationship will carry me through other aspects of my life as well. The addict may be gone now, but my reactions to stress still need to grow and change for the better.
Peace & good luck in the housing search!
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