Still going strong! :)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 281
Still going strong! :)
Hello all... it's been a few months since I have been on here. But thankfully just because I have been busy thru the summer, not because I fell victim and failing myself. My sobriety date is Oct 20, 2008... in which I haven't drank or used cocaine. A year is quickly approaching, and I am so excited about it.
This date in the past 11 years was the hardest time of the year for me. Around this time I would go into a deep depression and excessively use and drink more. My friend, who was only a Junior in high school at the time committed suicide on this day. This will be the first year that this date is a positive memory for me. Instead of feeling sadness, I can feel blessed and grateful. I made this decision and stuck with it... because I had no other option. I needed to better myself. And what a wonderful decision it has been for me. I love me again... I am stronger, and more confident. I wake up every day happy. I no longer have to try and remember what I did the night before, or lie to my husband about doing drugs which I did every single time because he doesn't do it!
After I stopped drinking, and using coke... i still continued smoking pot. I thought it wasn't something that I really focused on, so it was okay. I was smoking every weekend... mostly the times when our friends were over and they were all drinking. In my mind to get thru it (not drinking) I wanted to have some sort of mind altering effect. Ah hello, i'm an addict... of course that became a new obsession. I would pretty much smoke every night... after i put my 3 year old son to bed. I thought it was okay... I deserved the down time, right? June 8, 2009 I finally came to my senses and decided.. in order for me to fully recover I NEED to stop ALL mind altering substances. I was able to stop right away.... once I got it in my head that I needed to.... I stuck with it Unfortunately I had one point of submission. My brother who is a complete hippy (in all seriousness) was visiting for a few days (on his way home from going around the US to hippy festivals). I was in the moment and thought... I can smoke with my brother... it's just once. So I did.... and I became paranoid and did not enjoy myself ONE BIT. THAT was the last time that I smoked... which was July 15, 2009. Now I am living a completely sober life and I am sooooooo happy and living the life that I have always dreamed of!
My husband and I have always wanted more children and started talking about it a few months ago. Initially we were going to wait until Oct so it would be a full year of sobriety until starting to try... but decided that we would start trying in August, since it was unlikely I would get pregnant right away. Well we were wrong. I am now 5 weeks pregnant and due in May!!!
We are so very excited and happy.
I know that just becuase I am now pregnant doesn't mean I don't need to conciously think about living a clean and sober life. In my last pregnancy having a glass of wine from time to time was okay. It will never be okay ever again, regardless of being pregnant or not!!! I am going to continue working at being sober every day, for the rest of my life!
Thanks so much for letting me share... I am sorry this is so long. I needed to make up for not being here for a couple months I guess!!! haha.
Have a great day all... and for all you newcomers... If you REALLY REALLY want a clean and sober life, the decision is ultimately up to YOU. YOU CAN DO THIS... I am proof. I am finally living a happy and healthy life.
Shannon
This date in the past 11 years was the hardest time of the year for me. Around this time I would go into a deep depression and excessively use and drink more. My friend, who was only a Junior in high school at the time committed suicide on this day. This will be the first year that this date is a positive memory for me. Instead of feeling sadness, I can feel blessed and grateful. I made this decision and stuck with it... because I had no other option. I needed to better myself. And what a wonderful decision it has been for me. I love me again... I am stronger, and more confident. I wake up every day happy. I no longer have to try and remember what I did the night before, or lie to my husband about doing drugs which I did every single time because he doesn't do it!
After I stopped drinking, and using coke... i still continued smoking pot. I thought it wasn't something that I really focused on, so it was okay. I was smoking every weekend... mostly the times when our friends were over and they were all drinking. In my mind to get thru it (not drinking) I wanted to have some sort of mind altering effect. Ah hello, i'm an addict... of course that became a new obsession. I would pretty much smoke every night... after i put my 3 year old son to bed. I thought it was okay... I deserved the down time, right? June 8, 2009 I finally came to my senses and decided.. in order for me to fully recover I NEED to stop ALL mind altering substances. I was able to stop right away.... once I got it in my head that I needed to.... I stuck with it Unfortunately I had one point of submission. My brother who is a complete hippy (in all seriousness) was visiting for a few days (on his way home from going around the US to hippy festivals). I was in the moment and thought... I can smoke with my brother... it's just once. So I did.... and I became paranoid and did not enjoy myself ONE BIT. THAT was the last time that I smoked... which was July 15, 2009. Now I am living a completely sober life and I am sooooooo happy and living the life that I have always dreamed of!
My husband and I have always wanted more children and started talking about it a few months ago. Initially we were going to wait until Oct so it would be a full year of sobriety until starting to try... but decided that we would start trying in August, since it was unlikely I would get pregnant right away. Well we were wrong. I am now 5 weeks pregnant and due in May!!!
We are so very excited and happy. I know that just becuase I am now pregnant doesn't mean I don't need to conciously think about living a clean and sober life. In my last pregnancy having a glass of wine from time to time was okay. It will never be okay ever again, regardless of being pregnant or not!!! I am going to continue working at being sober every day, for the rest of my life!
Thanks so much for letting me share... I am sorry this is so long. I needed to make up for not being here for a couple months I guess!!! haha.
Have a great day all... and for all you newcomers... If you REALLY REALLY want a clean and sober life, the decision is ultimately up to YOU. YOU CAN DO THIS... I am proof. I am finally living a happy and healthy life.
Shannon
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,589
Hi and good to see you!
Congratulations on your pregnancy! What wonderful news! This will be such a blessing for your family, and definitely a gift of sobriety. It's wonderful to read such a positive post, and I wish you well on your recovery journey.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! What wonderful news! This will be such a blessing for your family, and definitely a gift of sobriety. It's wonderful to read such a positive post, and I wish you well on your recovery journey.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Welcome back Shannon and thanks for sharing such a beautiful, inspiring post. Congratulations on your pregnancy. So glad you are well and healthy and able to provide a nurturing environment for your little one. That is the best gift that I believe I have found through sobriety. Being a loving, safe, and attentive Mom is awesome. God bless and thanks again for taking the time to share such a lovely post.
thanks for sharing with us 
SHARING THE LOAD
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
Wow,
Congratulations on coming to that realization. I can really relate as I consider myself a recovering hippy as well as a alcoholic. I don't share that at my meetings because it would be me just trying to be cute. My younger brother tokes occasionally but has been a heavy user for years and it is so obvious how negative it is for him. It is hard to see it when everyone you are around is using it as well.
Yeah, ON the fourth of JUly 2008 I celibrated by smoking several bowls of marijuana over the fourth of july weekend and even though I had 550 days of sober living I started drinking shortly after. I now like you have matured to the same point you are in regards to mind altering substances. Ain't it a great feeling to have all these unnecessary addictions fall away as we begin to grow into a true spiritual way of living.
There is still a dangerous belief in my brain that there will be a right time and place for a batch of mushrooms. So I continue to listen to others about horror stories and don't actively look for it. Great to hear from you.
Congratulations on coming to that realization. I can really relate as I consider myself a recovering hippy as well as a alcoholic. I don't share that at my meetings because it would be me just trying to be cute. My younger brother tokes occasionally but has been a heavy user for years and it is so obvious how negative it is for him. It is hard to see it when everyone you are around is using it as well.
Yeah, ON the fourth of JUly 2008 I celibrated by smoking several bowls of marijuana over the fourth of july weekend and even though I had 550 days of sober living I started drinking shortly after. I now like you have matured to the same point you are in regards to mind altering substances. Ain't it a great feeling to have all these unnecessary addictions fall away as we begin to grow into a true spiritual way of living.
There is still a dangerous belief in my brain that there will be a right time and place for a batch of mushrooms. So I continue to listen to others about horror stories and don't actively look for it. Great to hear from you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 281
Originally Posted by jade09 
thank you for sharing your story...actually made me cry. gives me hope. thank you!!
Thanks everyone
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