goatfitgrrl

I just had a guy whose life I saved on Christmas Eve (cause there was no one else there) come back from the dead. He disappeared 9 months ago. Every once in a while I'd get an update, "I tried to commit suicide again, and failed." And finally, since I had no idea where he was and therefore couldn't send help, told him "Goodbye". He cropped up in my email today, acting like we'd spoken only yesterday, blue skying and gaslighting, and claiming to be "living clean." I actually answered the damn email, then realize it was same ****, different day. Now I feel punched in the stomach, mindf*cked, a little raped, and physically ill--especially since my younger brother actually DID commit suicide in May.

Talk to me, guys.

Ago

Hello and welcome

I suggest starting a new thread to get the attention and support you deserve and need, this is an old thread, a new thread introducing yourself should get a lot more traffic

Pelican

Welcome to Sober Recovery.

I'm sorry about your brother. My sympathy to you and your family.

Please be gentle with yourself. You responded to the email out of kindness.

Someday's it feels like for every two steps forward there is one step backwards. It's the journey that is important. We get there one day at a time, one step at a time.

cptspalding

Hi and welcome

I'm really about your brother, my thoughts are with you. I agree with pelican, please don't beat yourself up about replying to that e-mail. All you were doing was trying to be a friend. Sometimes I'm afraid it backfires, but that's no reason to feel bad in yourself.

Take care

cptspalding

The word sorry was ommited from the the last post 'cos I'm a muppet.

ItsmeAlice

My heartfelt sympathies on the loss of your brother. I can surely see how vulnerable that makes you to this man's games. You saved his life once, you owe him nothing, not even friendship if that is at the cost of your well being. We are not put on this earth to be siphoned of our spirit by someone for entertainment, and that is what it amounts to by him, attention-seeking entertainment.

Please don't feel anger at yourself for replying to his email. You are a kind-hearted and hopeful person who truly only wants the best for him. Those are not traits I would want to see you give up willingly. Just because those traits are misused by him is no reason to doubt your own resolve. He is the ill one, not you. Let him go and let his higher power handle him.

You have other friends, I'm sure, that would love to hear from you. Send his email and texts straight to the junk file.

Welcome!!!

Alice

peaceteach

My sympathies at the loss of your brother, GG. As the loved one of a person who may have suffered from addiction, maybe you've heard of codependency? I know that many of us on this forum have suffered through great sadness and personal grief over OTHER'S problems and addictions. One book that helped me get a start on learning how badly I have been affected by this whole "dance" was 'Codependent No More' by Melody Beattie. She provided me with a new look at life that really helped me start making good decisions and move my life in a more positive and happy direction. Welcome!