Looking for help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 2
Looking for help
I believe my sister is involved with heroin.
She has in the past told me that she has "kicked it" and battles every day to not use the drug. She assured me she was 100% clean and sober. Honestly, I had never suspected her use of this drug until she said she had used it.
She has been a user of prescription pills in the past- she would grind up oxycotin, percoset, adderal, and other drugs and snort them. She also claims to have given that up.
A family member found 4 needles next to the trash can of her apartment yesterday. We all live very near to each other, and help with chores such as taking out the trash/bringing back the empty barrels. When confronted, she yelled and got angry, then blamed it on a diabetic friend. She claims he was there one night and took 4 doses of insulin. the night before the needles were found, her live in boyfriend and she had 2 guests- 4 people, 4 needles. This makes me believe they are hers.
Furthering strengthening my case, our brother has walked into her house and seen her live in boyfriend with spoons and needles on the coffee table, passed out. He never told anyone until i confronted him with this information.
She frequently gets intoxicated to the point where she slurs her words, her eyes roll back in her head, and she passes out. I thought this was extreme alcohol abuse- could i be wrong?? recently she has been wearing just bathing suits (even late at night outside) and sweating saying that she is just "too hot".
Money and belongings have gone missing. We believe it to be her. Please, help me. Am i on track in believing it is her? Can we get the needles tested to prove it is heroin? Will the take home walmart/walgreens urine tests work if we put a drop of liquid on the dry needle to detect previous drug use? There is blood still in at least one of them.
I am so scared I am sick. It is my greatest fear to find her dead of an overdose. I want to try to do anything I can for her. I also have 2 young relatives who frequently play in the yard- we are lucky they did not find the needles.
She has in the past told me that she has "kicked it" and battles every day to not use the drug. She assured me she was 100% clean and sober. Honestly, I had never suspected her use of this drug until she said she had used it.
She has been a user of prescription pills in the past- she would grind up oxycotin, percoset, adderal, and other drugs and snort them. She also claims to have given that up.
A family member found 4 needles next to the trash can of her apartment yesterday. We all live very near to each other, and help with chores such as taking out the trash/bringing back the empty barrels. When confronted, she yelled and got angry, then blamed it on a diabetic friend. She claims he was there one night and took 4 doses of insulin. the night before the needles were found, her live in boyfriend and she had 2 guests- 4 people, 4 needles. This makes me believe they are hers.
Furthering strengthening my case, our brother has walked into her house and seen her live in boyfriend with spoons and needles on the coffee table, passed out. He never told anyone until i confronted him with this information.
She frequently gets intoxicated to the point where she slurs her words, her eyes roll back in her head, and she passes out. I thought this was extreme alcohol abuse- could i be wrong?? recently she has been wearing just bathing suits (even late at night outside) and sweating saying that she is just "too hot".
Money and belongings have gone missing. We believe it to be her. Please, help me. Am i on track in believing it is her? Can we get the needles tested to prove it is heroin? Will the take home walmart/walgreens urine tests work if we put a drop of liquid on the dry needle to detect previous drug use? There is blood still in at least one of them.
I am so scared I am sick. It is my greatest fear to find her dead of an overdose. I want to try to do anything I can for her. I also have 2 young relatives who frequently play in the yard- we are lucky they did not find the needles.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 89
Can we get the needles tested to prove it is heroin? Will the take home walmart/walgreens urine tests work if we put a drop of liquid on the dry needle to detect previous drug use? There is blood still in at least one of them.
My question for you is this: even if you get a drug test and it comes up positive for heroin (or any other drug, for that matter), what difference is that going to make?
What would you do with that knowledge? Would it change anything?
Your sister is going to do drugs if she wants to. I don't want to sound cruel, but active addicts are single-minded in their pursuit of their highs. The best thing you can do is get out of the way and make sure you take care of yourself...you are the only person that you can control. And keep those little ones far, far away from her.
Glad you're here. Read, read, read as much as you can here. Hugs.
with cynical
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
hi, welcome. sorry about your sister, unfortunately i agree with the others. there is nothing you can do to help her,she have to be willing to seek help for herself. as sad and as painful as it maybe, the best thing you can do to help your sister is to leave her to suffer the consequences of her bad choices. allow her to reach her bottom, whatever that may take.
your sister's behavior sure sound familar to an addicts and, it is common for addicts to deny their drug use, even if you did know for sure, there is nothing you can do about it, short of taking care of you. have you attended any alanon or nar anon meeting? if not, maybe you should find one or two and check them out for yourself. i'll keep you and yours in my prayers
your sister's behavior sure sound familar to an addicts and, it is common for addicts to deny their drug use, even if you did know for sure, there is nothing you can do about it, short of taking care of you. have you attended any alanon or nar anon meeting? if not, maybe you should find one or two and check them out for yourself. i'll keep you and yours in my prayers
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 88
Sorry to hear about your sister. Like everyone said trust your gut. It sure sounds like heroin. My son is an addict and we went through all the same things. It is hard to believe that they are lying because we don't want to believe it but since she has abused drugs in the past I would bet that's what it is. My son swore he would never shoot up but eventually that's what happened. Try to reason with her about getting help but if she is not ready there really is nothing you can do as heartbreaking as that is. Be sure to protect yourself and your belongings because no matter how great a person she was if she is an addict they don't care who they lie to or steal from and they will totally deny it. I think they lie to themselves. But everything revolves around getting the drugs and they will do anything to get them. The best thing you can do is get support for yourself. Everyone on here knows what they are talking about, we are all living it so keep in touch. Best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
I have no doubt she is addicted to heroin, a typical progression for those hooked on pain pills.
One of the first stages we go through is seeking proof of our suspicions. Oh we plot and plan how we will confront the addict with the evidence and believe that when we do so, the addict will have an "ah-ha" moment and quit.
Unfortunately, real life does not work that way.
Some addicts will deny using even with a needle sticking in their arm and some are so darn good at it, that the accuser starts to doubt themselves.
Heroin addiction begets lying and stealing. Heroin addicts often target their families first, because those are the people least likely to call the Police/press charges. When families allow this they are enabling addiction.
Being an addict is not illegal. Getting caught with substance or paraphanelia is a crime, usually a felony. Turn the needles over to the Police to dispose of them and keep children away.
Every single one of us here, at one time or another was willing to do anything to compel their loved one to quit. If all it took was love, none of us would be here. Over time, we learn and eventually accept.....We did not cause it. We cannot control it. And we most definitely cannot cure it.
What we can do is take the emphasis off the addict and addiction and focus on ourselves and our own reactions.
Watch your money/valuables/ ATM cards/credit cards/identity/car and cell phone. If she has a key to your house, change your locks. Addicts get very good at creating emergency situations that require loans. Remember "No" is a complete sentence.
The stickies at the top of this page provide for some excellent reading.
One of the first stages we go through is seeking proof of our suspicions. Oh we plot and plan how we will confront the addict with the evidence and believe that when we do so, the addict will have an "ah-ha" moment and quit.
Unfortunately, real life does not work that way.
Some addicts will deny using even with a needle sticking in their arm and some are so darn good at it, that the accuser starts to doubt themselves.
Heroin addiction begets lying and stealing. Heroin addicts often target their families first, because those are the people least likely to call the Police/press charges. When families allow this they are enabling addiction.
Being an addict is not illegal. Getting caught with substance or paraphanelia is a crime, usually a felony. Turn the needles over to the Police to dispose of them and keep children away.
Every single one of us here, at one time or another was willing to do anything to compel their loved one to quit. If all it took was love, none of us would be here. Over time, we learn and eventually accept.....We did not cause it. We cannot control it. And we most definitely cannot cure it.
What we can do is take the emphasis off the addict and addiction and focus on ourselves and our own reactions.
Watch your money/valuables/ ATM cards/credit cards/identity/car and cell phone. If she has a key to your house, change your locks. Addicts get very good at creating emergency situations that require loans. Remember "No" is a complete sentence.
The stickies at the top of this page provide for some excellent reading.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 2
Thank you all for your advice- it is just good to know there are people that understand the struggles and emotional pain that this all entails.
I understand now we can't make her stop- we can only pray that she wants to and provide her support if/when she decides to stop. We have on hand a rehab nearby and are ready to finance it if she decides she wants to go. We have locked up anything of value because she has already stolen much of it. We also have changed locks and now lock doors and windows at night because she broke into our grandparents house 2 nights ago at 5am- she ran out but the door was unlocked with a key, so we know it must have been her.
I am considering going to narcotics anonymous to understand more as the family member of an addict. Has anyone tried this? Is there a good support system there?
I understand now we can't make her stop- we can only pray that she wants to and provide her support if/when she decides to stop. We have on hand a rehab nearby and are ready to finance it if she decides she wants to go. We have locked up anything of value because she has already stolen much of it. We also have changed locks and now lock doors and windows at night because she broke into our grandparents house 2 nights ago at 5am- she ran out but the door was unlocked with a key, so we know it must have been her.
I am considering going to narcotics anonymous to understand more as the family member of an addict. Has anyone tried this? Is there a good support system there?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,401
Originally Posted by charmedone 
I am considering going to narcotics anonymous to understand more as the family member of an addict. Has anyone tried this? Is there a good support system there?
I'm a 46-year-old wife and mother of three young men. I'm also the addict in my family. If you are looking for a support system, as the family member of an addict, I think that Naranon or Alanon would offer you great support. If you want to hear "from the horse's mouth" about addiction, struggles and recovery, Narcotics Anonymous is a wonderful place to visit. I've never been to an NA meeting where visitors weren't very welcome. As a gesture of support for my recovery, my husband has attended NA meetings. Even though he gets a little "freaked out" by the whole "addict" thing*, he was warmly received and he knew that he was welcome.
* He just learned at the end of this past May that his wife is an addict. That's why the whole addict-thing freaks him out. He's got a lot of stereotypes filling up his thinking.
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