box3

After withdrawing from methadone 10 years ago, I was left with a charming host of anxiety disorders (social anxiety, panic disorder, generalised anxiety disorder) and major depression. After a while I started to educate myself about mental health, found an excellent psychologist, joined a social anxiety support group and started taking an SSRI. I started to learn skills that I could use to manage my mental health and in due course it improved.

Fast forward 5 years and my mental and physical health started to go downhill, I lost 15% of my body weight, my heart rate was through the roof and I was a mental and emotional wreck. After a round of testing I found out that I had an autoimmune disease that affected my thyroid. In a quest for better health and also spurred on by a lengthy bout of Epstein Barr virus, I changed my diet and exercise patterns. Over time I discovered that not only did healthy food and exercise make me look and feel physically better, but I felt better mentally as well.

In fact, I felt awesome. My exercise rehabilitation turned into a quest for fitness. I went from couch potato to competing in open water swimming competitions. I was weight lifting, swimming and doing yoga. I was strong, fit, capable and my autoimmune disease had gone into remission.

About 2 years ago I started to feel physically unwell again, since then my capacity for exercise has decreased to the point that trying to maintain my fitness schedule leaves me physically sick. After intensive testing my immunologist suspects that I may have developed another autoimmune disease, this time a bit more systemic in nature.

Exercise is such an important strategy in my life for managing depression and anxiety, as well as for maintaining physical health, but now, paradoxically, it seems that exercise is making me sick. So instead of coming home after work and heading to the pool to swim a couple of kilometres, I drink. I drink because I want to feel better and to relieve the stress that I can no longer release through exercise. I also drink for social reasons, my social anxiety, while 70% better, is still there. My mother used to drink like this when I was a child and I've started to mirror her patterns.

Has anyone else found themselves drinking in response to chronic illness?

Tazman53

I have not, I am a straight up run of the mill alcoholic.

This is not my experience as I have not walked in your shoes, but I know many folks in AA that are cross addicted, I also know quite a few folks that suffer from a great variety of chronic illness, Crones disease, Parkinson's disease, Degenerative disk disorder, MS, etc. They have found a solution to thier drinking and or drug problems in AA.

Addiction and alcoholism are very close to being one in the same, it is VERY unusual to hear of a recovered addict who can drink like a gentleman or an addict that can do dope for recreation reasons and not wind up in trouble all over again.

I do know one lady who got clean from methadone who uses a combination of AA & NA for her recovery, both of her parents are in AA as well.

tommyk

Drinking rarely, if ever, enhances one's health.

smacked

Chronic mental illness.. maybe. Luckily I found out before it was to late that drinking was only exacerbating the symptoms I thought I was medicating, and likely creating a host of chronic and usually fatal physical conditions as well.

Alcohol never enhanced my health, no matter what kinda gift wrapping I tried to imagine around it. It's called a toxin for a reason, and both my mental and physical health are better off being free of it.

c49

Same here. It medicated nothing! Anxiety and ailments even got worse over time.

I feel for you and worry that my hard exercise that I push through to medicate my anxieties and depression may be limited by injury... making a "now what" do I do crisis?!?!

What I wont do is drink. My only medical advice I'd give is: Dont Drink.

Anna

It was anxiety/depression and chronic pain from fibromyalgia that eventually led me to drink to try to self-medicate. Huge mistake! I added another major problem to my life and helped nothing. I still have trouble with anxiety and I still deal with fibro. As you said in your post, I try to exercise often and to eat well. I am blessed to be where I am today. Try to focus on what you can do to help yourself.

NewBeginning010

Sorry to hear that you are struggling. I also suffer from anxiety & panic attacks, drinking only made them worse (the next day). Maybe you can learn some meditation to calm you.

I started dong yoga at a club while I was working at my last job, it felt really good. Are you able to still to yoga at your pace?

I wish you all of the best in your recovery.

NB

Dee74

I have cerebral palsy - I self medicated that for a lot of years - along with everything else I had 'wrong' with me.

As others have said all it did was add another layer of crud, another burden - in time it came to dwarf all my other problems.

I stopped being my own 'doctor'

D

box3

Thank you to everyone for your feedback, especially to those with personal experience of chronic illness, be it mental, physical or both. When I think about it, alcoholism itself can be seen as a chronic disease.

There are certain social/cultural roles attached to chronic illness and disability which aren't particularly useful: one is of a life doomed to hardship and misery, where the person becomes an object of pity and their self and disability become interchangeable, the other is that of the inspirational hero, which is just as unrealistic as the first. People are more complex than this and I think it's absolutely OK to acknowledge the pain and frustration of dealing with chronic illness while also keeping in mind that it doesn't define the person. I've struggled with this, and now I'm resolved to accept the glorious and messy inconsistencies of my reality.

I'm putting into place a health plan with sobriety at its centre. I've got a referral to a new psychologist and I plan to go back to Iyenga yoga this weekend. I have a massage booked for this evening and if I'm feeling well enough, I will attend my first AA meeting tonight.

tallcactus

Sounds wonderful, good, so good for you. Pamper yourself U deserve this.

least

I started drinking to medicate anxiety and depression, and like was said, it just made the mental illnesses worse.

Missymae737

box3,

I am happy to see you are attending your first meeting at AA...It certainly has helped me, and coming here, for the knowlege of alcoholism and moral support.

I know all about immune system disorders and feeling very unwell. At one time I did try to medicate with alcohol and as others have said, it not only worsened my physical being, it took a great toll on my emotional well being, bringing me to the brink of death...

Let us know how you make out at the meeting...

box3

Hi everyone, thank you for your feedback and support.

I didn't make it to the meeting last night, instead I hunkered down with some paracetamol and throat lozenges as I wasn't feeling great. The meeting was at 8pm. I still plan to attend next Friday's meeting, but will need to rest up before hand.

I went back to yoga today, which was physically difficult yet rewarding. I'm ready for a snooze now!