Amazing Surpise From a Tramadol Junkie South of the Border
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: STROUD, OK
Posts: 158
Amazing Surpise From a Tramadol Junkie South of the Border
I have been so encouraged by whateverone has written, and had to say. Someone mentioned loosing it all in order to be able to start new.....and someone mentioned the strangeness of teh arrival of Priscilla in this story........ well I did loose it all and as far as Proscilla I don`t know what force brought here to me.
Fisrt of all I apologise for horrible typing but my mobility is better but putting on socks is something I still cannot do. I have wanted to get on here since this morning...I had a small window to do so... I logged on and promptly had to leave
After having posted here..mentioning my plan to get out, I went to work as much as icould despite my physical crap. For some reason I found Piscillas number while going about rounding up something. I sat down and realised although this plan to get out was good Ijust did not have the energy or capacity to do these things, so I thought... if this Priscilla could run me by to do do 2 errands I would be good. Upon calling her house, I told her who i was and she abruptly said I`ll be right there and hung right the hell up. Within 10 minutes she arrived at the house with a bag of churches chicken and someone else with her. Being embarassed how the house was I was prepared to talk to here at the street... she barged in saying she was going in. I said I m ashamed of what I have become and she grabbed me firmly looked at me in the eyes and said DO YOU WANT MY HELP?... I said yes and sat down...She went in and i asked her friend.. who is she what does she do? why does she act like she already knows whats going on here?? All I got out of the woman was... She`s priscilla, she`s a person that wants to help you and I got nothing further from her... Priscilla came out and told me i had 5 minutes to grab what i was taking. I go tmy cat my computer and a trunk in which i had putall my paintings, super 8 films i had made and developed myself , fotos and sentimental crap, and came out. I did exactly what someone mentiomned in a post.. I had to completely step aside and allow my shame to be seen, witnessed .... she did not say anything about what was in there to me. I put on the only clean clothes I had we got in the car and went directly to a psychiatrist office.. he got my story, he gave me, clonodine xanax, and someother stuff and I wa told to use to very mimimum of this tramadol and only in pills form. That doctor called my girflfriends family here which is closer than my own american family and in 20 minutes they were there in the office. They went and got the remaining trunks from my house while I ate and washed up at their house then i was planted on a couch with every fruit imagineable.. I ate it all.
I was soo ashamaed that these people I prized so much were walking thru my filth trying to save MY things...it seemes since the doors had been opened a neighbor called the city so the **** was coming down. I fell asleep with my cat on my chest.....woke up everal tiems sweating, and really really shaky..and instead of taking 15 tramadol or even 4.. i took one and said NO to my mind saying i should ake a total of 4. I slept , woke up, immediately feeling the need to be high, however it was strange I had the pill on the table but I would get pulled off in coversation and forget about taking htem for 3 minutes. Upon remembering i was to take them I really tried to talk somemore and managed to make myself go thru another hour before i took 2 . Two down from the 35 to 45 a day i was shooting.
I have to say I do feel rather rough and have the leg thing and I m a little sweaty and shakey and scatterbrained but Im taking what the doc prescribed and not near the ultram I thought i would take
I am so acutely aware of my mental state...in my heart I feel the ability and I remember how being at 100 % feels but I am made so aware as i try to speak with others that I am not there at 100. my brain goes in a circle and i forget what i was going to say or do, but I did mention the doctor saying sosmething about a mental state associated with severe opiate and benzo withdawal and the fact of being blasted out of my mind for so long
I am in a safe house...that day i was EXTRACTED by this priscilla who seemed to disappear when my Mexican family arrived.. I found a note pegged to the car window stressing whe wanted to know how i was....thats I was a human being and deserved help...and charged me to do the same every chance i got...this woman is an enigma to me....she paid the docotors bill ahile we were inside, and then just disappears, I do not know who or what she is...but that day she came into my life and tore thru like a tornado and eemed to take no concern in my shameful house and she got my into a safe house. I thanks god or whoever for her, becasue if she had not come i would not have tol my mexican family or girflfriend about this and i would have had a harder time completing this plan...
Today jsut as i was yanked away from posting we got a call from the jeep dealer and we went and got my vehicle.
Coming home my brother called.. he is in the army and in an unspecified place and he called via satellite phone saying his emergency leave was in the pipe and his passport was being expedited and that I was to stay where I was.. he would be here and drive us home. Thru all this my mom has constantly called... I can only imagine how she is taaking all this. That doctor told me it was nothing short of a miracle.. another day or two and i would have suffered something i dont remember...basically saying i just barely pulled this off. My arms hurt I have red rosy balls around some places I think might be where i blew out the vein or missed, but in other palces the flesh is sunken and i have sagging skin that looks like an older persons skin would. I cannot make fists but my ams are getting better
i so srry I cannot ype much more ( this is a blessing for you all haha) but It hurts like hell to type
I just had to say thank you to everyone...I swear to you there is not one persons post that has not done or meanty something to me.....every single one has helped me drag myself up...thank you sooo much.you know I would love to know about every siongle one of you. maybe I ll get to do something about that as I wait for the arrival of my brother....thank you thank you thank you.I do not know what else to say.. I m felling better, I have my spot in the60 day inhouse treatment center already.and I m getting the HELL out of here I cannot waait to throw off these chains and get into the program... I have no chhoice but to throw myself into this program NO CHOICE .. I get and learn to stay clean or I die... My body cannot and willnot handle another go on the rollercoaster
IN reference to this strange priscilla thing.. I think Tyler mentioned something about it...Tyler I am opposite of you i was raised and was very very religious... becoming less so in my life but never totally lost the concept...But I witnessed a few things, such a apriscilla , that have made me wonder about my beliefs thus far in many aspects....good night all I must rest thank you all
Gracias a todos ustedes quienes me ayudaron vovlver a poder creer que hab́a esperanza. Graciass a Priscilla que seguramente eres un angel de Dios..
Que Dios Los Bendiga
Chris
Fisrt of all I apologise for horrible typing but my mobility is better but putting on socks is something I still cannot do. I have wanted to get on here since this morning...I had a small window to do so... I logged on and promptly had to leave
After having posted here..mentioning my plan to get out, I went to work as much as icould despite my physical crap. For some reason I found Piscillas number while going about rounding up something. I sat down and realised although this plan to get out was good Ijust did not have the energy or capacity to do these things, so I thought... if this Priscilla could run me by to do do 2 errands I would be good. Upon calling her house, I told her who i was and she abruptly said I`ll be right there and hung right the hell up. Within 10 minutes she arrived at the house with a bag of churches chicken and someone else with her. Being embarassed how the house was I was prepared to talk to here at the street... she barged in saying she was going in. I said I m ashamed of what I have become and she grabbed me firmly looked at me in the eyes and said DO YOU WANT MY HELP?... I said yes and sat down...She went in and i asked her friend.. who is she what does she do? why does she act like she already knows whats going on here?? All I got out of the woman was... She`s priscilla, she`s a person that wants to help you and I got nothing further from her... Priscilla came out and told me i had 5 minutes to grab what i was taking. I go tmy cat my computer and a trunk in which i had putall my paintings, super 8 films i had made and developed myself , fotos and sentimental crap, and came out. I did exactly what someone mentiomned in a post.. I had to completely step aside and allow my shame to be seen, witnessed .... she did not say anything about what was in there to me. I put on the only clean clothes I had we got in the car and went directly to a psychiatrist office.. he got my story, he gave me, clonodine xanax, and someother stuff and I wa told to use to very mimimum of this tramadol and only in pills form. That doctor called my girflfriends family here which is closer than my own american family and in 20 minutes they were there in the office. They went and got the remaining trunks from my house while I ate and washed up at their house then i was planted on a couch with every fruit imagineable.. I ate it all.
I was soo ashamaed that these people I prized so much were walking thru my filth trying to save MY things...it seemes since the doors had been opened a neighbor called the city so the **** was coming down. I fell asleep with my cat on my chest.....woke up everal tiems sweating, and really really shaky..and instead of taking 15 tramadol or even 4.. i took one and said NO to my mind saying i should ake a total of 4. I slept , woke up, immediately feeling the need to be high, however it was strange I had the pill on the table but I would get pulled off in coversation and forget about taking htem for 3 minutes. Upon remembering i was to take them I really tried to talk somemore and managed to make myself go thru another hour before i took 2 . Two down from the 35 to 45 a day i was shooting.
I have to say I do feel rather rough and have the leg thing and I m a little sweaty and shakey and scatterbrained but Im taking what the doc prescribed and not near the ultram I thought i would take
I am so acutely aware of my mental state...in my heart I feel the ability and I remember how being at 100 % feels but I am made so aware as i try to speak with others that I am not there at 100. my brain goes in a circle and i forget what i was going to say or do, but I did mention the doctor saying sosmething about a mental state associated with severe opiate and benzo withdawal and the fact of being blasted out of my mind for so long
I am in a safe house...that day i was EXTRACTED by this priscilla who seemed to disappear when my Mexican family arrived.. I found a note pegged to the car window stressing whe wanted to know how i was....thats I was a human being and deserved help...and charged me to do the same every chance i got...this woman is an enigma to me....she paid the docotors bill ahile we were inside, and then just disappears, I do not know who or what she is...but that day she came into my life and tore thru like a tornado and eemed to take no concern in my shameful house and she got my into a safe house. I thanks god or whoever for her, becasue if she had not come i would not have tol my mexican family or girflfriend about this and i would have had a harder time completing this plan...
Today jsut as i was yanked away from posting we got a call from the jeep dealer and we went and got my vehicle.
Coming home my brother called.. he is in the army and in an unspecified place and he called via satellite phone saying his emergency leave was in the pipe and his passport was being expedited and that I was to stay where I was.. he would be here and drive us home. Thru all this my mom has constantly called... I can only imagine how she is taaking all this. That doctor told me it was nothing short of a miracle.. another day or two and i would have suffered something i dont remember...basically saying i just barely pulled this off. My arms hurt I have red rosy balls around some places I think might be where i blew out the vein or missed, but in other palces the flesh is sunken and i have sagging skin that looks like an older persons skin would. I cannot make fists but my ams are getting better
i so srry I cannot ype much more ( this is a blessing for you all haha) but It hurts like hell to type
I just had to say thank you to everyone...I swear to you there is not one persons post that has not done or meanty something to me.....every single one has helped me drag myself up...thank you sooo much.you know I would love to know about every siongle one of you. maybe I ll get to do something about that as I wait for the arrival of my brother....thank you thank you thank you.I do not know what else to say.. I m felling better, I have my spot in the60 day inhouse treatment center already.and I m getting the HELL out of here I cannot waait to throw off these chains and get into the program... I have no chhoice but to throw myself into this program NO CHOICE .. I get and learn to stay clean or I die... My body cannot and willnot handle another go on the rollercoaster
IN reference to this strange priscilla thing.. I think Tyler mentioned something about it...Tyler I am opposite of you i was raised and was very very religious... becoming less so in my life but never totally lost the concept...But I witnessed a few things, such a apriscilla , that have made me wonder about my beliefs thus far in many aspects....good night all I must rest thank you all
Gracias a todos ustedes quienes me ayudaron vovlver a poder creer que hab́a esperanza. Graciass a Priscilla que seguramente eres un angel de Dios..
Que Dios Los Bendiga
Chris
Faerie
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: South Australia
Posts: 396
CHRIS! So good to hear from you. So happy you are doing so well.
Like I said the other day I believe Priscilla is an 'Earth Angel'. They are very special people who are put on this earth by a higher power to help people like you and me get through our s**t. They give unconditional love no matter what. You deserve to be loved and she recognises that.
It's so great you are going to the treatment centre, you are taking back your life.
I am so damn proud of you and love you very much Chris.
You are so strong and a beautiful, talented person.
Keep us all updated,
Much love.
Faerie xx
Like I said the other day I believe Priscilla is an 'Earth Angel'. They are very special people who are put on this earth by a higher power to help people like you and me get through our s**t. They give unconditional love no matter what. You deserve to be loved and she recognises that.
It's so great you are going to the treatment centre, you are taking back your life.
I am so damn proud of you and love you very much Chris.
You are so strong and a beautiful, talented person.
Keep us all updated,
Much love.
Faerie xx
Go Browns!
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 642
Wow you really have some story. I read your other thread from the other day but didnt have time to respond. I bet you could use this as fuel to someday help kids with drug problems or something.
Sounds like you have a long road ahead of you. Its going to be tough but you can do this. You just have to want to be clean more than you want to use. And then, you have to stay that way. Keep posting when you can, it helps.
Sounds like you have a long road ahead of you. Its going to be tough but you can do this. You just have to want to be clean more than you want to use. And then, you have to stay that way. Keep posting when you can, it helps.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
I believe that Prisilla is an angel, sent here to save you. I'm so happy you're getting help.
I'm not gonna 'candy coat' it and say it will be easy...But trust me, it will be worth it.
Good luck, God bless, and keep posting and let us know how you're doing.
:ghug3
Penny
I'm not gonna 'candy coat' it and say it will be easy...But trust me, it will be worth it.
Good luck, God bless, and keep posting and let us know how you're doing.
:ghug3
Penny
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Wow, that is a truly inspiring story. I'm so glad things are starting to get better for you. Stick with it and you CAN start a new life. Perhaps when you can honor this "Pricilla angel" by giving back to other addicts. To be honest, in a a way, you have already done that by sharing your story. Keep well my friend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: STROUD, OK
Posts: 158
SOmeone mentioned candy coating..... just today i htought a bit about that but after reading this post I thought ..yeh this is true. A lot of happened very promising but I still have to follow thru and the rosy pink cloud motivation isn`t going to get me thru much...only determination. I know this must sound stupid but I am soooo excited to go to this place and i want my brother to HURRY I want to be in there so bad. I am doing this....I have family and two children that think I am their father..they deserve a sober cousin, and I love them so much...also I deserve this. My famiily will need to depend on me and so will I
there are two strange songs i heard on a disc I made that really inspire me for some reason eperdu , trasure hiding, and fotzepolitic by the cocteau twins..... if anyone cares to youtube it and listen to the first one... its the one thats sets me flying
Today Im just waiting on my brother to tell me which day he arrives and we are gone
I am waiting as long as I can before itake the ultram i have.. From such an ungodly dose i have so far managed to restrain my urge to take more and i have only taken two today.. I m sweaty, my calfs are knotted, and i dont like the way the clothes feel on my body but...I am trying to make the come down tolerable... anyway sometiems i get filled with resolve and I think....screw it.. I have to get off the **** no matter how uncomfortable....I just find that two... instead of 15...does the trick, I nver thought it would.
there are two strange songs i heard on a disc I made that really inspire me for some reason eperdu , trasure hiding, and fotzepolitic by the cocteau twins..... if anyone cares to youtube it and listen to the first one... its the one thats sets me flying
Today Im just waiting on my brother to tell me which day he arrives and we are gone
I am waiting as long as I can before itake the ultram i have.. From such an ungodly dose i have so far managed to restrain my urge to take more and i have only taken two today.. I m sweaty, my calfs are knotted, and i dont like the way the clothes feel on my body but...I am trying to make the come down tolerable... anyway sometiems i get filled with resolve and I think....screw it.. I have to get off the **** no matter how uncomfortable....I just find that two... instead of 15...does the trick, I nver thought it would.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
I am sitting here choking back tears of joy for you Chris...and for the grace of God. Please, please, please don't forget us here at SR and let us know how you are doing as you are able.
Please tell Priscilla thank you for all of us. She has been an inspiration, as well as your brother and Mexican family.
I'm so happy and proud for you.
Much love,
TJP
Please tell Priscilla thank you for all of us. She has been an inspiration, as well as your brother and Mexican family.
I'm so happy and proud for you.
Much love,
TJP
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: STROUD, OK
Posts: 158
I could not forget this forum if I wanted to... The words from all of you have been such a support even before the tide turned drastically for me.
It looks like next wednesday is the fastest my brother can get here, but He is coming. My mexican has fattened me up I m sure. I have not eaten like this in years...I set a limit of ultram to take to take the edge off this junk. I have kept to it although today i felt so rough and sweaty and horribly lethargic that i wanted to take 2 more....but suprise i made it thru to dose time with out failing. I pray That I am able to find the strength to resist again.... I just keep imagining my little cousins david and Alyssa and I see their little faces and it helps... also even though i felt like crap.. I went out and walked a mile or so...I started out all crabby and feeling bad. I ended up back at the house dead tired and drained and slept completely forgetting my cravings...
anyway I ll shut up as I tend to ramble on about the same thing in 20 different ways...
I couldnt forget about these people or this page its tied to this part of my life whether i want to or not... I was in the dark when I reached out. I was ascared living in filth and literally dying , I was told by the doctor I was only a few days from dying... In those dark hours i reached out here and I swear. your words lifted me up and gave me the strength to act.
You can be sure that once I get in this place..I am sticking my head in these forums to say hello whever I have access to a computer
i still profusely thank you all..... you won`t know how much help you all have been..................... or
maybe you do
Chris
It looks like next wednesday is the fastest my brother can get here, but He is coming. My mexican has fattened me up I m sure. I have not eaten like this in years...I set a limit of ultram to take to take the edge off this junk. I have kept to it although today i felt so rough and sweaty and horribly lethargic that i wanted to take 2 more....but suprise i made it thru to dose time with out failing. I pray That I am able to find the strength to resist again.... I just keep imagining my little cousins david and Alyssa and I see their little faces and it helps... also even though i felt like crap.. I went out and walked a mile or so...I started out all crabby and feeling bad. I ended up back at the house dead tired and drained and slept completely forgetting my cravings...
anyway I ll shut up as I tend to ramble on about the same thing in 20 different ways...
I couldnt forget about these people or this page its tied to this part of my life whether i want to or not... I was in the dark when I reached out. I was ascared living in filth and literally dying , I was told by the doctor I was only a few days from dying... In those dark hours i reached out here and I swear. your words lifted me up and gave me the strength to act.
You can be sure that once I get in this place..I am sticking my head in these forums to say hello whever I have access to a computer
i still profusely thank you all..... you won`t know how much help you all have been..................... or
maybe you do
Chris
Faerie
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: South Australia
Posts: 396
Chris,
On behalf of everybody we are so happy that you have found comfort in our words of love and support.
I am so glad you have Priscilla and your beautiful family to support you. You are very lucky, many people don't have supportive families.
Have fun with the kids, I find my nieces to be the best anti-depressants on the planet.
Again, you are doing so damn well and I am so proud of you,
So much love,
Faerie xx
On behalf of everybody we are so happy that you have found comfort in our words of love and support.
I am so glad you have Priscilla and your beautiful family to support you. You are very lucky, many people don't have supportive families.
Have fun with the kids, I find my nieces to be the best anti-depressants on the planet.
Again, you are doing so damn well and I am so proud of you,
So much love,
Faerie xx
mi vida loca
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: the desert
Posts: 351
hi chris--just wanted to let you know i am very proud of your accomplishments over the last several days-dont ever forget that you are worth it...the world is yours for the taking and you deserve what is on the other side of being on dope. also, remember this quote: no one said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it!!! im excited to hear how things are coming along so please keep in touch with us here @ SR.
dios te bendiga-krissy
dios te bendiga-krissy
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
