We can recover
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: JHB
Posts: 89
We can recover
I went to a meeting last night, and the topic was "we can recover".
I realised how profound this statement was after thinking long and hard about this. Any form of fellowship and support group is important to us addicts because we get to be with people like us and those that understand what recovery is like.
Normal ppl will never get to understand and know what its like to live in recovery and do not see the impotance in each day as we do. Each day we stay clean and sober is a victory and a huge achievement.
As addicts we lived in isolation and misery and we did not see a way out. It is quite amazing how many ppl are like me and can relate to how i feel at each point of my recovery. I am apporaching another milestone and i am sh*t scared, as i grow in my recovery I feel its getting harder and harder, and "normal ppl think i am overreacting and should be used to this by now".
I sat with my sponsor the other day and he highlighted so many things about me, some of those i did not even realise, he told me that I was hearding towards a relapse,becos the lying and the manipulation is back "the addict in me is acting up again" and I could not see that....
I believe the value of recovery come from 1 addict helping another. On my own i can not do this, I need the fellowships, Meeting, SR and my sponsor. To those addicts who do not have a sponsor, i would like to suggest that you get yourself one ASAP.
I realised how profound this statement was after thinking long and hard about this. Any form of fellowship and support group is important to us addicts because we get to be with people like us and those that understand what recovery is like.
Normal ppl will never get to understand and know what its like to live in recovery and do not see the impotance in each day as we do. Each day we stay clean and sober is a victory and a huge achievement.
As addicts we lived in isolation and misery and we did not see a way out. It is quite amazing how many ppl are like me and can relate to how i feel at each point of my recovery. I am apporaching another milestone and i am sh*t scared, as i grow in my recovery I feel its getting harder and harder, and "normal ppl think i am overreacting and should be used to this by now".
I sat with my sponsor the other day and he highlighted so many things about me, some of those i did not even realise, he told me that I was hearding towards a relapse,becos the lying and the manipulation is back "the addict in me is acting up again" and I could not see that....
I believe the value of recovery come from 1 addict helping another. On my own i can not do this, I need the fellowships, Meeting, SR and my sponsor. To those addicts who do not have a sponsor, i would like to suggest that you get yourself one ASAP.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
The 'people power' of AA & NA are priceless.
Too many people criticize AA/NA for one reason or another, but I know when I focus on the people in AA/NA I always gain some recovery.
Keep coming back.
Too many people criticize AA/NA for one reason or another, but I know when I focus on the people in AA/NA I always gain some recovery.
Keep coming back.
Now with fewer opiates!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,405
Glad you posted this.
I attended an outpatient group and became friendly with the recovering counselor. As I am not employed and have the time, she asked if I would hang around the group with her and offer what I could (I used to be and will again be a counselor).
The group has quite a few people totally new to abstinence...no AA background and little knowledge. Last night, a woman who had acknowledged drinking last Wednesday came to group. I had not seen her since that night. She said to me "Are you mad at me <for drinking>?" I assured her I was not, it was a group effort and she needed to worry about herself and her children. (She had been under scrutiny by Child Protective Services as her DWI occured with her kids in the car). CPS had been to her home yesterday.
The difficult part, for me, was it was pretty clear to me she had been drinking yesterday as well. During group, I caught the eye of my counselor-friend and let her know. She gently confronted the woman, who denied drinking. At that point I had to say something and did. I knew being caught drinking while in IOP could cause her great difficulty with CPS, to the point of having her kids removed from the home. But I also knew she had driven to IOP and could not imagine my guilt if she had hurt herself or others on the way home. We tested her and she came back positive. Her family was called.
The point to this ramble is this: This is a we program. I need my sponsor and others who know me to call me on my sh!t. I know how I can easily manipulate doctors, dentists, counselors, family members and friends into validating me. But another addict can spot the bullsh!t a mile away.
I suspect if I had maintained contact with 12 step groups after I initially got sober, I would be sitting here with a lot more than 6 months. I know it's what I have to do now to keep what I have.
I attended an outpatient group and became friendly with the recovering counselor. As I am not employed and have the time, she asked if I would hang around the group with her and offer what I could (I used to be and will again be a counselor).
The group has quite a few people totally new to abstinence...no AA background and little knowledge. Last night, a woman who had acknowledged drinking last Wednesday came to group. I had not seen her since that night. She said to me "Are you mad at me <for drinking>?" I assured her I was not, it was a group effort and she needed to worry about herself and her children. (She had been under scrutiny by Child Protective Services as her DWI occured with her kids in the car). CPS had been to her home yesterday.
The difficult part, for me, was it was pretty clear to me she had been drinking yesterday as well. During group, I caught the eye of my counselor-friend and let her know. She gently confronted the woman, who denied drinking. At that point I had to say something and did. I knew being caught drinking while in IOP could cause her great difficulty with CPS, to the point of having her kids removed from the home. But I also knew she had driven to IOP and could not imagine my guilt if she had hurt herself or others on the way home. We tested her and she came back positive. Her family was called.
The point to this ramble is this: This is a we program. I need my sponsor and others who know me to call me on my sh!t. I know how I can easily manipulate doctors, dentists, counselors, family members and friends into validating me. But another addict can spot the bullsh!t a mile away.
I suspect if I had maintained contact with 12 step groups after I initially got sober, I would be sitting here with a lot more than 6 months. I know it's what I have to do now to keep what I have.
The truth shall set you free
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5,267
[QUOTE=Stagebear;2311816]The point to this ramble is this: This is a we program. I need my sponsor and others who know me to call me on my sh!t. I know how I can easily manipulate doctors, dentists, counselors, family members and friends into validating me. But another addict can spot the bullsh!t a mile away.[/QUOTE]
Amen brother!!
Amen brother!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Native
Posts: 2,509
That woman ... provides a great example of the insanity of this disease. With everything on the line, already in a whole heap of legal trouble, about to lose her kids ... she still shows up visibly loaded to her court-ordered IOP program. And she even drove there, to boot. I'd say it's unbelievably stupid ... but I already know that's not what it is ... I mean, it IS that ... but y'all know what I mean.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: JHB
Posts: 89
There are certain ppl that just refuse to get it. The last 2 meetings i attended, New comers left half-way through the meeting.
I wish I knew why, for some reason it tells me that they are not willing to let go of their addiciton as yet.
Last night there was this guy, who came with his mother (new comer). Just by looking at his Mom you could see the desperation in that poor woman's eyes that she was willing to sacrifice her evening at home to be in a meeting with her son (for him to see a different way) but he left during a break. I saw him being aggresive to his Mom and forcing them to leave and clearly she did not want to......
One of the reasons why i chose this road of recovery is the fact that I saw my mother (who is a very strong woman) cry everytime when she came to see me in Rehab and the I could not bear to see the pain in her eyes everytime she looked at me...
"We are prisoners of our addiction" and "we keep our families hostage during our addiction" - I chose to free myself and my family from this bondage...
I wish I knew why, for some reason it tells me that they are not willing to let go of their addiciton as yet.
Last night there was this guy, who came with his mother (new comer). Just by looking at his Mom you could see the desperation in that poor woman's eyes that she was willing to sacrifice her evening at home to be in a meeting with her son (for him to see a different way) but he left during a break. I saw him being aggresive to his Mom and forcing them to leave and clearly she did not want to......
One of the reasons why i chose this road of recovery is the fact that I saw my mother (who is a very strong woman) cry everytime when she came to see me in Rehab and the I could not bear to see the pain in her eyes everytime she looked at me...
"We are prisoners of our addiction" and "we keep our families hostage during our addiction" - I chose to free myself and my family from this bondage...
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