kj3880

Hey Orfan,
I see that you were on here this morning--what's up? Are you OK? Still struggling? Let us know what's going on, no matter how bad it is.

Love,
KJ

ex D-Boy

bump

Orfan

Hey Guys ... Sorry - I updated the other thread instead of this one.

I stuffed up big time on the weekend .... very, very down on myself. All that positive thinking was obliterated. All I can do is try again. I dont even know what to say - I am so disappointed. Im doing my best to use just a minimal amount of what I have left - it will be gone tomorrow though. I was doing so well - I cant believe I stuffed it up ... well ... I can believe it actually.

I was just WEAK. I got sick of fighting the cravings and I GAVE UP.

Faerie

Orfan,

You are human, we all are, forgive yourself, tomorrow is another day and you don't have to use tomorrow. Take it day by day Mate.

Stay strong, we are here for you and will never judge you.

Much love,

Orfan

Thanks Faerie. Im just sick of it ... I want to start being PROUD of myself instead of ASHAMED.

Faerie

Orfan, I'm a codeine addict and I feel ashamed every time I use. However I feel proud that I am trying to wean myself off. You should feel proud that you are reaching out for support by joining SR. Admitting you have a problem is the first and by far the hardest step in recovery.

With you all the way.
xx

kj3880

The bad news is: I don't think it's the hardest step. The good news is: it's a step in the right direction. I wish it was the hardest step, because then everybody who knows they are an addict could get clean, but as we all know, that's not how it goes down.

Recovery isn't for those who need it.
Recovery isn't for those who want it.
Recovery is for those who work for it.

Orfan,
What can you do differently on this day to get and stay clean? For me, I had to go to meetings, get a sponsor, work steps, and make real changes in the way I lived. It's a daily process, not an event. I get a daily reprieve from my disease on the days that I work my program. So far, that's been 450days for me.

Today it isn't easy..but it's still better than it was when I was using. And on good days, I do feel joyous, happy, and free. I have a real commitment to my recovery, and it has to be first in my life.

Tapering never worked out for me. I always messed up when it started getting to about 1/2 my usual dose and I would feel bad. I had to get an addictionologist and medication to get off of pain pills.

Stop messing about with it, and do what you have to do to get clean.

Love,
KJ