Waterman

The Lord does look out for us! Was supposed to work night shift tonight, which would have prevented me to go to a meeting, but I'm up early this am, to work daytime. Now, I can go to my first meeting tonight! Wife still doesn't understand, and has been difficult to deal with on this issue. This is more important to me than her attitude.........

Dee74

I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand yet Waterman, but as yr life is changing, so is hers in a way - maybe give her time to get adjusted too?

I hope you enjoy the meeting. Come back and tell us how you went

D

Dime

Great to hear, glad you are moving forward. It is very common for our loved ones not to understand alcoholism at first. Make sure you tell them it is your first meeting. Depending on the club they may provide a newcomers packet and make phone numbers available of members willing to help.

Congrats on your decision to seek help!!

Tazman53

Waterman her attitude will change as you change. My wife still just does not get it, I will have 3 years in Sept. and she is far more accepting today. Her & the kids were in the process of moving out due to my drinking.

I do not know your story, but I can tell you that part of my wifes problem with my using AA to stay stopped revolves around the fact that she tried for years to get me to stop drinking and staying stopped and she was never able to help.

A non-alcoholic does not get that mental twist we have about alcohol, they do not understand that it is far from being as simple as "Just not drinking!". Hell a lot of us have it in our heads "If I just stop drinking everything will change & I will be just fine.", This is what I thought for many years, I would simply quit drinking and become miserable, irratable, on edge, depressed, angry..... I always eventually went back to drinking because the only way I was able to deal with life was by drinking, I felt normal when drinking.

That continued for quit a few years, until I crossed that invisible line into being physically addicted to alcohol, I had to drink even when I did not want to drink...... the thrill was gone and I was in hell, damned if I drank & more damned if I didn't.

Non-alcoholics do not get the fact that in order for us to stay sober and live a good life in our heads we have to find another solution to life other then alcohol. I found that solution in the steps of AA & the fellowship of AA which led me to find a Higher Power of my understanding and choosing that is my solution today. It for me is a trinity:

1. My Higher Power.
2. Applying the steps to all areas of my life.
3. The fellowship of AA.

Try and get to the meeting about 15-20 minutes early, offer to help set up the meeting. Trust me, the person setting up the meeting will be your instant friend!!! Introduce your self as a new comer, grab a cup of coffee, sit down and listen..... if you are asked to share and don't want to that is fine, just say "No thank you, I would just like to listen tonight.

Hang around for a while after the meeting, if you are not given some guys phone numbers ask for them. More importantly call them, you calling them helps them stay sober just as much as it will help you.

I look forward to hearing how your first meeting went tomorrow.

BTW if you do not like the meeting you go to tonight, try some others before you decide on anything. Every AA meeting is different, they tend to have thier own personalities even though they may have a lot of the same people at them.

tommyk

Good plan, let us know how the meeting goes.

Anna

I'm glad you're seeking support.

It's very hard for others to understand what we go through, and that's a good reason to come here and share because we do understand.

adore79

i hope the meeting goes well for you. oftentimes our loved ones dont and cant understand what we are going through. alanon meetings would be great for your wife if she is willing to go.

1_day@_a_time

Many good pointers here!

Suggest you go with an open mind.

Defined as a mind not filled with self.

Not for the similarites, not the differences.

Take just one good principle on how to live a better life from the meeting.

Then APPLY it in your life immediately.

Meetings vary greatly, try numerous.

Taking5

Here is a great read that I often recommend for first timers:

Your First AA Meeting

espresso

Great you're going to your first meeting.

I really hope you find it useful; just listen for the similarities and not the differences in the sharing.

I'm off to a meeting shortly as well.