Half way through the first 90...
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 100
Half way through the first 90...
So I just checked the sobreity calculator, I have 43 days, 12 hours...
That is by far my biggest achievment in the last 5 years!
Circumstances are not easy right now, but living day-to-day, it's the easiset it's ever been. Still a few loose ends to tie up on the personality/reactionary side, but seriously- wow. I know the urge to drink will come back at some point, but am I right to think that if I got this far, in a time like this, that things may well just turn out ok? I hope so.
I was no good to anyone when I was drinking, and hurt the people I cared about, and that cared about me, now that they see I'm TRULY battling my addiction, I think they are all having a little faith that I will come through.
I have got over the shock value of my DUI, and am now seeing it more for what it is, almost a blessing, of sorts. Sure, criminal record? Not good at all. No liscence for a few years? Painful. Jail? A scary prospect indeed. Fines? It's only money! Deportation? Maybe, and that's a kick in the teeth.
For the most part of it though, it's a new start, a clean slate if you will.
Through all of the unknown, I have stayed sober. (Main focal point)
I have also offered advice to others in AA (newcomers), and been a big help to my partner and the rest of the family. I've really realised that I should have been riding a motorcycle years ago, but for some reason, put it off every time... well, as it stands, I intend to treat myself to a dirt bike this week.. this is the longest period of time I have stayed off the booze, and I don't know weather anyone else has had the same experience of feeling that it's not a 'desire' to stop drinking, it's pure and outright, sheer determination this time. They can take my car, liscence, freedom, and even immigration from me, but they won't get my sobreity. No one will, it's mine, and it's the most selfish I've ever felt about anything.
I stick to my guns, and just remember, "If you're going through hell- keep going". People survived D-Day 65 years ago, saw their comrades drop all around them, but fought on, maybe for something they believed, maybe not. The horrific circumstances of war on an individual in comparison make me a very small fry indeed.
Being my standpoint right now, it was my first offence, so all this is daunting at the very least, at times it can be unbearable, but if I stay true, and don't drink, this will all have been a learning experience, from which I may better myself. It is NOT the end of the world by any means, it is the beggining of a new one, and I'm looking forward to it.
As I have never been to court before, I'm not going to shy away from it, and simply let the lawyer go on my behalf. I'm going to stand tall, carrying my sobreity with me, and take my punishment like a man. I want to face the judge, eye to eye, and remember it always.
I will be branded a criminal, and there is NOTHING I can do, but embrace it, and sorry to say, enjoy it. It's either enjoy this experience, or have it drive me bitter, and I chose to experience it, not escape it.
If the men and women of the forces experience a litteral fight for survival every day, I can stand and deliver my sobreity, and take my punishment.
If one person today decide's they can stop drinking, and last a good 24, then I can do my bit too.
At the end of the day, I am still alive to make a difference, be it in my life, other's lives, or both. It's a gift, and I'm going to use it to the best of my abilities.
Kudos to anyone thinking of attending AA, and in fact, kudos to anyone who is contemplating putting the bottle down for good. I wish you all another 24, and a great day. Thank's for listening.
That is by far my biggest achievment in the last 5 years!
Circumstances are not easy right now, but living day-to-day, it's the easiset it's ever been. Still a few loose ends to tie up on the personality/reactionary side, but seriously- wow. I know the urge to drink will come back at some point, but am I right to think that if I got this far, in a time like this, that things may well just turn out ok? I hope so.
I was no good to anyone when I was drinking, and hurt the people I cared about, and that cared about me, now that they see I'm TRULY battling my addiction, I think they are all having a little faith that I will come through.
I have got over the shock value of my DUI, and am now seeing it more for what it is, almost a blessing, of sorts. Sure, criminal record? Not good at all. No liscence for a few years? Painful. Jail? A scary prospect indeed. Fines? It's only money! Deportation? Maybe, and that's a kick in the teeth.
For the most part of it though, it's a new start, a clean slate if you will.
Through all of the unknown, I have stayed sober. (Main focal point)
I have also offered advice to others in AA (newcomers), and been a big help to my partner and the rest of the family. I've really realised that I should have been riding a motorcycle years ago, but for some reason, put it off every time... well, as it stands, I intend to treat myself to a dirt bike this week.. this is the longest period of time I have stayed off the booze, and I don't know weather anyone else has had the same experience of feeling that it's not a 'desire' to stop drinking, it's pure and outright, sheer determination this time. They can take my car, liscence, freedom, and even immigration from me, but they won't get my sobreity. No one will, it's mine, and it's the most selfish I've ever felt about anything.
I stick to my guns, and just remember, "If you're going through hell- keep going". People survived D-Day 65 years ago, saw their comrades drop all around them, but fought on, maybe for something they believed, maybe not. The horrific circumstances of war on an individual in comparison make me a very small fry indeed.
Being my standpoint right now, it was my first offence, so all this is daunting at the very least, at times it can be unbearable, but if I stay true, and don't drink, this will all have been a learning experience, from which I may better myself. It is NOT the end of the world by any means, it is the beggining of a new one, and I'm looking forward to it.
As I have never been to court before, I'm not going to shy away from it, and simply let the lawyer go on my behalf. I'm going to stand tall, carrying my sobreity with me, and take my punishment like a man. I want to face the judge, eye to eye, and remember it always.
I will be branded a criminal, and there is NOTHING I can do, but embrace it, and sorry to say, enjoy it. It's either enjoy this experience, or have it drive me bitter, and I chose to experience it, not escape it.
If the men and women of the forces experience a litteral fight for survival every day, I can stand and deliver my sobreity, and take my punishment.
If one person today decide's they can stop drinking, and last a good 24, then I can do my bit too.
At the end of the day, I am still alive to make a difference, be it in my life, other's lives, or both. It's a gift, and I'm going to use it to the best of my abilities.
Kudos to anyone thinking of attending AA, and in fact, kudos to anyone who is contemplating putting the bottle down for good. I wish you all another 24, and a great day. Thank's for listening.
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