College Student needing help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 4
College Student needing help
I am a 22 year old student majoring in Finance at the College of Charleston in South Carolina. I got sober when I was 20 and that was also when I had my last relationship. I spent some time studying abroad and had the opportunity of sponsoring a great kid there; this was and is the only person I have sponsored. The problem I am having is that I do not have really any friends; there are very few young people in the program here; I have 4 friends in the program-the youngest of them is 25. I am a workout addict and go to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu 3-5 times a week and I hit the gym 5-7 times a week, I also take classes year round.
What has come to fruition at this point is my only reliable friend is my dog. Early in sobriety I reached out to an old friend who was involved in this campus outreach organization, which turned out to be a massive gathering of the "mega-churchesque" individuals (borderline delusional Christians; if you are offended-I apologize, this is not my intention). This was a failed operation; the other issue is the individuals that I train with are not people that I would hang out with outside of training. So, I basically confine myself now to meditation, studying and fitness.
I am coming to a point however, where meditation is the only solution to the constant state of self-loathing, anger, and sadness. I stay up on it (meditation) as much as I can and this seems to help greatly, but I really need to figure out what to do. Charleston is a great city and I really love it here, but the drinking culture is heavily imbedded in the College lifestyle-more so than most of the schools I have spent time at. I do not feel sorry for myself because I realize I must seek these new avenues to turn over the stones necessary to find new people, places and things.
So I guess my question is:
Where do I go from here?
Please offer your insight
What has come to fruition at this point is my only reliable friend is my dog. Early in sobriety I reached out to an old friend who was involved in this campus outreach organization, which turned out to be a massive gathering of the "mega-churchesque" individuals (borderline delusional Christians; if you are offended-I apologize, this is not my intention). This was a failed operation; the other issue is the individuals that I train with are not people that I would hang out with outside of training. So, I basically confine myself now to meditation, studying and fitness.
I am coming to a point however, where meditation is the only solution to the constant state of self-loathing, anger, and sadness. I stay up on it (meditation) as much as I can and this seems to help greatly, but I really need to figure out what to do. Charleston is a great city and I really love it here, but the drinking culture is heavily imbedded in the College lifestyle-more so than most of the schools I have spent time at. I do not feel sorry for myself because I realize I must seek these new avenues to turn over the stones necessary to find new people, places and things.
So I guess my question is:
Where do I go from here?
Please offer your insight
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Sorry to hear of your challanges. I found that Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com to be a great place to find new people for hiking groups, restaurant groups... pretty much anything. 112 groups are waiting for you... their kayak group looks like fun.
Charleston, SC Meetup Groups - Meetup.com
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Charleston, SC Meetup Groups - Meetup.com
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Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi and Welcome,
It might be a good idea to get involved in something outside of working out.
Have you considered doing volunteer work in your community. It's a great way to meet people and it's unlikely that alcohol would be an issue. The amount of satisfaction you can receive from helping others, is enormous
It might be a good idea to get involved in something outside of working out.
Have you considered doing volunteer work in your community. It's a great way to meet people and it's unlikely that alcohol would be an issue. The amount of satisfaction you can receive from helping others, is enormous
it's a movie, you're the star
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 355
Hey!
What about taking some kind of interactive class besides fitness - such as cooking, writing, or even the history of film, whatever interests you but something interactive that's less labor intensive and focuses more on communicative connections?
Rach
What about taking some kind of interactive class besides fitness - such as cooking, writing, or even the history of film, whatever interests you but something interactive that's less labor intensive and focuses more on communicative connections?
Rach
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome blue - so glad you're reaching out. I'm afraid the "drinking culture" is imbedded in every lifestyle. Here I am in a resort town filled with retirees, and they're still at it! It's always going to be around, and we have to learn to deal. It took me over 25 yrs. to finally admit I can never play with it again. It's great you are taking this action at 22 - you can avoid the hell most of us go through.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 281
Originally Posted by bluepanda 
I go to 5-7 meetings a week
Are you unable to make friends at your AA meetings?
I also agree with Anna (she always has great advice), try looking into volunteer work! If you are unable to make friends this way, at least you will not be in your own company (along with your dog of course
and you will feel wonderful about the work you are doing in helping.Good luck... Keep reading and posting!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by shanman422
Hi! Congratulations on your sobertime!
Are you unable to make friends at your AA meetings?
I also agree with Anna (she always has great advice), try looking into volunteer work! If you are unable to make friends this way, at least you will not be in your own company (along with your dog of course and you will feel wonderful about the work you are doing in helping.
Good luck... Keep reading and posting!
Are you unable to make friends at your AA meetings?
I also agree with Anna (she always has great advice), try looking into volunteer work! If you are unable to make friends this way, at least you will not be in your own company (along with your dog of course
and you will feel wonderful about the work you are doing in helping.Good luck... Keep reading and posting!
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