Wascally Wabbit

My youngest son has been in a lot of trouble in his life. 3 terms of jail lasting a total of 11 years behind bars.
He got out and now has a family. It's so hard on him. He had a good job and lost it and now is in debt and barely making it. I love him and know that he is trying very hard to make it. He's a HARD worker. He will help anyone and when people do give him little jobs he goes above and beyond what that person expected.

He got married after he got out of jail the last time. His GF and him had a girl. Now they have a boy too.

I can't tell you how much I love them all.:ghug

I decided to have a "reception" type party at my home for them. It was a very very casual affair, but an opportunity to recognize their marriage.

I invited my mom. Her response to me? "I just don't believe that people should be celebrating marriage when they already have children".
Needless to say, she didn't come.

I really felt terrible for a while over her starkly judgmental comment. I remember how she broke up a marriage of her best friend by having an affair with her husband! I remember how she had an affair with her doctor! The nerve of her daring to say something like that to me about her very own grand children.

It bothered me. But, when I thought of her self righteousness, I realize that I have no control over how she feels about anything. What I do have control over is my response to her!

So, I said to her, "I am sorry you feel that way." That was it. I let it go. And, if I thought about it, I knew that I was relieved, really, that she wouldn't come. It would mean countless hours of having to listen to non stop complaining and whining about every tiny thing in her life.

I have to work at my life daily. One day at a time. I got past that and didn't let it hurt me like it used to. I don't know what it will be next, but I know that this time, I didn't' let her disease get the best of me.

suki44883

Good for you! Congratulations! You done good!!! ((((HUGS))))

GiveLove

Way to go, Wabbit!!!!!!

DesertEyes

geez Wabbit, you got some wonderful recovery there! Your son is lucky to have you for his Mom. I think it's a _good_ thing that woman ( who I won't dignify by any other name ) didn't show up to celebrate their marriage, she would have made some kinda scene for sure.

You've done good Wabbit, you should be proud of yourself.

Mike

Freedom1990

Wabbit, your post made me smile! I think our mothers must be related somehow!

Good for you, and what a thoughtful gesture for your son and his family. :ghug :ghug

least

My mother is also mean and hateful like that about my new-mommy-unmarried daughter and her fiance and their new baby. Always nagging about when are they getting married. I just tell her I'm glad they're together, whether they're married or not. Good for you for not letting her pull your strings!:ghug3

Rebecca4

I have the same problem with my mother. So judgemental. I think you did a really nice thing for your son and I bet he appreciates it.
It makes me laugh when people still expect things because that's how it is meant to be. Like if you have kids you should be married. It's 2009 not 1809.

xx

Wascally Wabbit

Thanks everyone, for all the responses.
We begin to see things differently as we progress.
Her ugly comment only meant that she is the one who missed out on a lot of good old family fun and food.
The rest of us had a great time.

dothi

For her, it's short-term gain (self-righteousness) for long-term pain (missing out). For you, it's short-term pain (letting it go, not trying to fix) for long-term gain (a good time with family). Sounds about right