Husband on Heroin
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: raleigh, nc
Posts: 1
Husband on Heroin
Hi all.
I am brand new to the board - just found it tonight. I found out this week that my husband has had a heroin addiction for almost 2 years, and I knew nothing about it. There were signs here and there that I should have picked up on, but I know absolutely nothing about drugs (I've never even been drunk!), so I just didn't pick up on them, and he is a master liar.
He got caught at work - he overdosed in the bathroom and passed out. Thank God someone found him. His job is in jeopardy (actually I am pretty sure it's gone) - he made $70k a year and is only 25. How can someone that smart and educated do something like this? I guess that is a question always asked by families of addicts.
He has checked into a clinic for a 7 day period to detox and he seems to be doing ok. He seems very committed to beating this. He told me that he tried to stop on his own many times, but could never seek help because I would find out. I don't know if this is true. It seems that if he hid the addiction so well, he would sure as hell be able to hide getting help.
I am willing to give him this one chance to make things better. I am buying home drug kits and will be giving him tests at random. I got rid of his cell phone, he won't be going anywhere alone for a while, I took all the locks off the inner doors.
I'd like to hear from any of you who have beaten or are in the process of beating a heroin addiction -- do you think his commitment is real, or is he just doing this because he got caught? How likely is he to recover? I am trying to be strong right now but just really kind of in shock still.
I am brand new to the board - just found it tonight. I found out this week that my husband has had a heroin addiction for almost 2 years, and I knew nothing about it. There were signs here and there that I should have picked up on, but I know absolutely nothing about drugs (I've never even been drunk!), so I just didn't pick up on them, and he is a master liar.
He got caught at work - he overdosed in the bathroom and passed out. Thank God someone found him. His job is in jeopardy (actually I am pretty sure it's gone) - he made $70k a year and is only 25. How can someone that smart and educated do something like this? I guess that is a question always asked by families of addicts.
He has checked into a clinic for a 7 day period to detox and he seems to be doing ok. He seems very committed to beating this. He told me that he tried to stop on his own many times, but could never seek help because I would find out. I don't know if this is true. It seems that if he hid the addiction so well, he would sure as hell be able to hide getting help.
I am willing to give him this one chance to make things better. I am buying home drug kits and will be giving him tests at random. I got rid of his cell phone, he won't be going anywhere alone for a while, I took all the locks off the inner doors.
I'd like to hear from any of you who have beaten or are in the process of beating a heroin addiction -- do you think his commitment is real, or is he just doing this because he got caught? How likely is he to recover? I am trying to be strong right now but just really kind of in shock still.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
Hi and welcome to Sober Recovery 
I am a recovering addict with 13 years clean.Still,I am afraid I can't tell you whether his desire to get well is genuine or not.Chances are,even he is still shaken and confused.I know that when I was using,no one was more baffled than I was by my behavior.I could have the best intentions and still wreck my life.
Be assured that addiction has nothing to do with intelligence or education.It crosses all boundaries and afflicts kids in the ghetto and guys in high rise office buildings,and moms with little babies,and...well...anyone at all.Addiction doesn't care who we are.But we can recover,and many people do.
I'd strongly suggest that you check out our Nar Anon forum.Nar Anon is for the families and friends of addicts.Unfortunately there is little you can do to fix your husband.But you can learn to take care of yourself in spite of his choices.You'll get support and encouragement from people who understand what you are going through.There is help,and there is hope.I wish you all the best.
Hugs
phoenix
I am a recovering addict with 13 years clean.Still,I am afraid I can't tell you whether his desire to get well is genuine or not.Chances are,even he is still shaken and confused.I know that when I was using,no one was more baffled than I was by my behavior.I could have the best intentions and still wreck my life.
Be assured that addiction has nothing to do with intelligence or education.It crosses all boundaries and afflicts kids in the ghetto and guys in high rise office buildings,and moms with little babies,and...well...anyone at all.Addiction doesn't care who we are.But we can recover,and many people do.
I'd strongly suggest that you check out our Nar Anon forum.Nar Anon is for the families and friends of addicts.Unfortunately there is little you can do to fix your husband.But you can learn to take care of yourself in spite of his choices.You'll get support and encouragement from people who understand what you are going through.There is help,and there is hope.I wish you all the best.
Hugs
phoenix
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: North Jersey
Posts: 5
Hi I'm a recovering H addict. I'd just like you to know that Heroin addiction effects all people no matter what race, religion, or socio-economic status they may come from. Personally, no one ever caught my H use, as a result of it being very easy to hide. Heroin's effects upon the human body are very subtle and are therefore very often mistaken for droziness. If anyone ever questioned me about why I looked so drozy (when in fact I was high as a kite) I would just play it off as though I hadn't gotten enough sleep.
The easiest way to tell that a person is high off of Opiates is the size of their pupils. When you are high on H, your pupils will shrink to a very small size. I used to say that my eyes were "pinned" because the pupils in my eyes were about the size of the head of a pin.
The best thing you can do for your husband is to encourage him to attend NA meetings regularly (He really should try going to 90 meetings in his first 90 days of sobriety).
Also I just want to warn you that if you husband does in fact fall off the wagon again, do not be distressed or start blaming yourself. No human power can restore your husband from his addiction. Only God can restore your husband to sanity and, he will, if and only if he is sought.
The easiest way to tell that a person is high off of Opiates is the size of their pupils. When you are high on H, your pupils will shrink to a very small size. I used to say that my eyes were "pinned" because the pupils in my eyes were about the size of the head of a pin.
The best thing you can do for your husband is to encourage him to attend NA meetings regularly (He really should try going to 90 meetings in his first 90 days of sobriety).
Also I just want to warn you that if you husband does in fact fall off the wagon again, do not be distressed or start blaming yourself. No human power can restore your husband from his addiction. Only God can restore your husband to sanity and, he will, if and only if he is sought.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: QUeeNz,NoOYaWk
Posts: 205
hi my names jackie and im 22 and been a heroin addict since i was 16..Ive been on methadone for a year and half..and i was clean for 11 months but relapsed last month but im back to being straight..Once you start a drug like heroin i think its always a life long battle..Because its not only mentally addictive like cocaine but its..physically addictive...Im sure your husband couldnt stop on his own cause you get soo sick..its like the worse flu ever for a week and then for about 2 months u cant sleep and your body aches..At the same time you have to deal with the problem that bothered you from the beginning on why you started using..and deal with the problems you have made while your use...I know you and your husband have a long road ahead of you..The only advice i can give you is take care of yourself...And yea you sed you didnt want him going by himself anywhere..But you gotta ubderstand his 25..Even if you did go with him every where or someone else did..If chooses he aint ready to stop the moment you think hes ok he will be off to the races...Mainly this recovery is all up to him and the only thing you can do if you choose to stick by him is support him and be strong dont let him manlipulate you..and dont begin to medicate the stress and hurt hes putting you through..Basically if he sees how much your trying for him and how strong you are that can trigger him to wanna be just like you..Im not trying to sound all pessimist..but in my own recovery and my bf's and many friends the only time we finally got clean is when we truely wanted to everytime my mom put me in a rehab or threatened me or whatever, or i felt i had to be clean or felt guilty everytime i came home within a day or a week id be back to square one..I wish you all the strength you can get..And you can private message me anytime..goodluck..Jacqueline
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Baltimore, Md
Posts: 4
I can truly relate to your situation...
I am in the same boat trying to paddle to shore...
Not knowing or having a clue as to what to expect or do for him drives me insane! He has been using for almost 20 yrs...sigh!
He admits everything and hold know punches - I don't know how to handle or deal with his past and I am scared to death od out future!
I am in the same boat trying to paddle to shore...
Not knowing or having a clue as to what to expect or do for him drives me insane! He has been using for almost 20 yrs...sigh!
He admits everything and hold know punches - I don't know how to handle or deal with his past and I am scared to death od out future!
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 3
I think your husband has a disease that controls not just his phisical being, but it does affect the chemistry in his brain, removing major chemicals like endorphins, that are his only natural pleasure and numbing device.
Medicine has come along way in the last ten years, understanding what opiate dependency does and how you can phisically reverse this condition.
You have to try to find out why he started, was he looking for a numbing device? Is there something in his reality that is too hard for him to face?
Be his friend, becareful not to turn into his jailor, or he will hide from you.
Good luck.
Medicine has come along way in the last ten years, understanding what opiate dependency does and how you can phisically reverse this condition.
You have to try to find out why he started, was he looking for a numbing device? Is there something in his reality that is too hard for him to face?
Be his friend, becareful not to turn into his jailor, or he will hide from you.
Good luck.
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