Day Four - Now I understand why they call it a birthday
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 118
Day Four - Now I understand why they call it a birthday
Three days of sobriety safely in the bag! Yeah! I feel more alive each day. I feel like I'm starting to get some reasonable measure of control over my life again. I feel like I've started life anew. It's awesome!!!
My thinking is so clear now. Every aspect of my life has come into focus. Now I can see the exact dynamics of how drinking screwed up my marriage and my career, how deft I was at lying to myself all those years and how stubbornly I clung to my monkey even after it was clear as mountain air that I needed help.
It's funny because I haven't really experienced any withdrawal symptoms, other than an odd phantom hangover for a few minutes after I get up in the morning. I'm sleeping like a baby, having beautiful dreams. My body feels incredibly strong, although I did experience some pain in my liver last night. It was weird, like my liver was saying, "Hey, it's Friday night and I'm all geared up for some major abuse! Where the hell is the booze?!?" I guess I was lucky enough not to reach the point of strong physical dependency. That's the type of drinker I was, though -- a little too clever for my own good about keeping things "under control."
If you're like I was, a self-aware alcoholic painstakingly moderating your intake, all I can say is that you're kidding yourself. Being an alcoholic means that you can't drink -- period -- unless you want to suffer some intense consequences. The booze will steal your life from you one way or the other. It's happy to do it slowly and without your noticing. I was very lucky to notice before my brain and body turned to mush. I was lucky that I "only" lost my marriage and my career. Those can be repaired or replaced. Your brain can't. Your body can't.
Last night I thanked my wife for leaving me. Her doing so saved my life. She rolled her eyes at that because she's actually a textbook co-dependent and enabler. I hope she doesn't end up with another active boozer like I was; she probably will if he has a good income. As drunks go, I really wasn't that bad -- never mean, seldom even visibly drunk -- but I'm going to be a much better man sober. That feels so damn good! I got my life back! Yeeeeeaaaah, baby!
Now I can see why the AA people celebrate birthdays. Sobriety is a fresh start on life. I know that there will be challenges. I know that there will be temptation. I also know that I can meet the challenges and beat the temptation if I choose sobriety each and every day, each and every moment. I can't wait until I do that for enough days to celebrate birthdays! It will make me so proud.
Thank you all again. This place has helped me so much.
My thinking is so clear now. Every aspect of my life has come into focus. Now I can see the exact dynamics of how drinking screwed up my marriage and my career, how deft I was at lying to myself all those years and how stubbornly I clung to my monkey even after it was clear as mountain air that I needed help.
It's funny because I haven't really experienced any withdrawal symptoms, other than an odd phantom hangover for a few minutes after I get up in the morning. I'm sleeping like a baby, having beautiful dreams. My body feels incredibly strong, although I did experience some pain in my liver last night. It was weird, like my liver was saying, "Hey, it's Friday night and I'm all geared up for some major abuse! Where the hell is the booze?!?" I guess I was lucky enough not to reach the point of strong physical dependency. That's the type of drinker I was, though -- a little too clever for my own good about keeping things "under control."
If you're like I was, a self-aware alcoholic painstakingly moderating your intake, all I can say is that you're kidding yourself. Being an alcoholic means that you can't drink -- period -- unless you want to suffer some intense consequences. The booze will steal your life from you one way or the other. It's happy to do it slowly and without your noticing. I was very lucky to notice before my brain and body turned to mush. I was lucky that I "only" lost my marriage and my career. Those can be repaired or replaced. Your brain can't. Your body can't.
Last night I thanked my wife for leaving me. Her doing so saved my life. She rolled her eyes at that because she's actually a textbook co-dependent and enabler. I hope she doesn't end up with another active boozer like I was; she probably will if he has a good income. As drunks go, I really wasn't that bad -- never mean, seldom even visibly drunk -- but I'm going to be a much better man sober. That feels so damn good! I got my life back! Yeeeeeaaaah, baby!
Now I can see why the AA people celebrate birthdays. Sobriety is a fresh start on life. I know that there will be challenges. I know that there will be temptation. I also know that I can meet the challenges and beat the temptation if I choose sobriety each and every day, each and every moment. I can't wait until I do that for enough days to celebrate birthdays! It will make me so proud.
Thank you all again. This place has helped me so much.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
Hi,
Congrats on your three days into sobriety! You remind me of where I was several years back as I really did not seem to have much in the way of even hangovers. The one thing I found out is that alcoholism is most definitely a progressive disease and my last detox wound up being very life threatening.
The one thing that really has worked well for me is having a strong support system. You are going through a lot right now and having that support in place will pay big dividends in the long haul, like staying sober permanently. I used AA and it probably has saved my life. Whatever you chose stay really active in your recovery program, especially early on as this disease is always waiting to come back.
Congrats on your three days into sobriety! You remind me of where I was several years back as I really did not seem to have much in the way of even hangovers. The one thing I found out is that alcoholism is most definitely a progressive disease and my last detox wound up being very life threatening.
The one thing that really has worked well for me is having a strong support system. You are going through a lot right now and having that support in place will pay big dividends in the long haul, like staying sober permanently. I used AA and it probably has saved my life. Whatever you chose stay really active in your recovery program, especially early on as this disease is always waiting to come back.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: brighton, England
Posts: 65
hey, well done for getting to day 4. I too am in the early stages of sobriety. Like you, I feel like I've started a new life. I honestly didn't foresee how much more enjoyable life could be without the drink. The depression and anxiety is all but gone, and my relationship with friends and family has improved ten-fold. If i'd have known how good things could be without alcohol, I would have quit way before I did. Congratulate yourself on everyday without a drink. You've given yourself a chance to live life happily now.
On the withdrawls front, I had pains in my liver too. I had a bloodtest which revealed things we're ok. I'd recommend seeing a doc if you have any more pain. It will give you extra peace of mind.
Well done surviveit!
On the withdrawls front, I had pains in my liver too. I had a bloodtest which revealed things we're ok. I'd recommend seeing a doc if you have any more pain. It will give you extra peace of mind.
Well done surviveit!
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