NeedHappiness

Haven't been here in quite awhile but feel the need to touch base. I have received a lot of helpful information from the veterans of SR and I am wondering if and WHEN things are going to get better!!? I split up with the XABF last June but it is still hard for me to accept that he will probably never get help nor get better.....therefore "We" will never be again. I went with the no-contact for awhile and that is what helped me the most. Now I am finding that since I began dating again this year, and the XABF has caught wind of it, he has begun calling and texting me again. Old feelings for him have resurfaced and I now find myself doubting whether I should give him another chance. what is wrong with me? I KNOW its not going to work, yet my heart still aches for the way things used to be. I guess that is the key....USED TO BE!
After he found out I was dating an old friend of his (was that in itself a mistake?) he has flooded my phone with texts and calls begging and pleading for me to give him another chance......and of course he was drunk when he made the calls. Finally I quit answering the phone becasue it became too unbearable. I must admit that it has made me an emotional mess this week! It took me SO LONG to finally break things off with him and now I feel like I'm in the middle of it again. I haven't cried this much since right before I broke up with him.

I am still working on my own cody issues but I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions to make this any easier. I HATE IT that I love this man. why can't I hate him so it would be easier?

GiveLove

(((NeedHappiness)))

It sounds like it WAS better. But then you started talking to him again, hearing all those sweet empty meaningless words, and the violins and hearts and flowers start flying around our mind, and it makes you pine for the fantasy of him you had before.

That isn't real, no more than a romantic movie is real when the lights come up. But unlike a romantic movie, this CAN hurt you if you give in to the fantasy. A lot.

Sometimes doing the right thing for ourselves is hard. Take care of YOU.

LaTeeDa

Well, you didn't say exactly what you are doing to work on your issues, but I will tell you that seeing a therapist helped me a lot.

L

sailorjohn

You might want to ask yourself, why did you decide to date an old friend of his? Just as a starting point.

isurvived

There is a saying "it's hard to lose an alcoholic" — and it IS VERY TRUE!

No contact is the only way.