Aysha

I watched that movie the other night.
And it was so pitiful at first.
I mean..I thought I was watching my life unfold in front of my eyes. Minus the addiction. Just how my lifestyle is at home.
I am not 40 living at home yet.
Just everything they did and thought was so much like me.
It was embarrassing to watch at the beginning. Only because I saw myself in it.
It was a hilarious movie tho. And yes I act just like that alot of times.
Immature and like a teenager.

It had me thinking alot about where I should be right now. And the younger brother in the movie is like my one sister. And how I would see my younger cousins. They dont act like that..But they are all doing way better thyan I ever have and probably will ever do.

But at the end...It all came together.

And even tho I may be the way I am. And not have crap for someone my age. I am who I am and I always stay true to that. I am as real as real can be. I always try to be honest and I am a very loyal person.

I never say or do anything with false motives or intentions. Not when I am clean anyway.

Self seeking's thread got me thinking on this again. Because I do feel like a loser alot of times when I see old friends I grew up with that are doing so good. And just being a responsible adult is like amazing to me. Thats sad but true.
I have been an addict since I was 12 yrs old. Hardcore really since I was like 15 or 16. I never really did grow I guess. I did but not really.
I was always too busy partying and hangin out to do anything lese with myself.
So here I am 33 yrs old and still like a teenager.

But it is who I am right now. I am learning to take responsibility.
I may not have the same job for yrs, kids, husband and a house and all that stuff. But I do have to admit. I am quite content with what I have.
Most of that is because I am rich with family. Rich with hope and determination.

I am who I am. And honestly..I like being young at heart like I am. Even immature at times. Its makes things fun. Makes rule 62 alot easier to live by.
And I dont really ever want to have to be all stiff and serious and all in debt and crap like that for the rest of my life. I can have a happy medium. Do what I have to do to be an adult when I have to be. But other than that, I am very ok with being like I am. Doing what I do and how I do. Because it is who I am. I dont want to conform to what I think the norm is.
Just a vent I guess.

When I post with a vent. I am usually just thinking out loud. Not so much in need of help. nNot really struggling. Just thinking out loud and gettin things off my mind.
I use to think out loud alot and my people use to bust on me for talking to myself.
I dont know why I have to express my thoughts outward so much. But it helps me alot.

Thx for letting me.

adore79

Great post Trish. I saw that movie and I too can relate to acting like a teenager most of the time, like those guys did. Actually, kinda makes me glad im an only child lol. I dont think it is a bad thing to be immature, as long as, like you said, we find a happy medium where we can take care of responsibilities as much as possible. And when we live with family memebers, try to respect them so that we are not too much of a burden.

Mattcake

Great post, Chi. This topic upsets me. Just yesterday I was hearing about how most of my friends are getting married, working full time... I caught myself thinking "wow, they're grown ups!" And then it dawned on me that I'm the same age. Eek.

I've always felt this way, though; my addiction just made it worse.

Aysha

Honestly..I wouldnt be happy living that married , having to pay a mortgage, chasing after kids lifestyle. Its not my thing.
It would drive me crazy.
I like to be a free spirit. I dont have to be so reckless and careless in being that way anymore. But I am perfectly happy being the way I am. Being spontanious and doing what I want , when I want pretty much.
I can jump in my van and move across country if I wanted to.
Nothing confines me to THIS life right now. I have no major commitments to stop me from doing whatever.
You know what I mean?
And thats perfect for me. I like change.

Mattcake

Honestly, Chinny, I agree. Is there a line that separates healthy responsibility from ridiculous expectations? If there is one, I haven't found it. Or maybe we get to draw it in any way we choose?

Everything is okay now; I'm okay now. I've been repeating those lines for weeks, and for once I don't feel like I'm lying to myself.

Aysha

As long as you are true to yourself. Stay true to whats in your heart. Everything will always be ok.
I like to believe we can draw that line where we see fit.
As long as we also keep a balance in life.
Too much of anything isnt good.
That goes for responsibility as well.
Everyone needs to just let go in a healthy way and forget lifes stresses.
I see my grams freakin over MY inspection on my van being expired.
She acts like the cops have radar on it.
To me it is important. But I can afford to fix the things that need to be fixed so it passes right now.
So until then I am not goin to freak out like she is. As far as I see it...As long as I dont give the cops a reason to pull me over I will be ok until I can take care of it. And the color doesnt change until next year..so unless they get right up on the tiny sticker..they arent goin to know if it is good or not. Thats my thinkin g..I dont know if thats good or bad.
My main concern is egtting my tickets paid and fines paid so my license doesnt get suspended. That inspection can wait. And so can the tv.
And the credit card.
Not in that particular order.
I guess it really all comes down to how much responsibility am I willing to take on that may cause me some serious stress later on.

ex D-Boy

this might stray a bit off topic but.... in that movie when the younger brother goes up into the tree house and lifts up his shirt and you see his like washboard 8pack abs and he says "I havent had a carb since 2003!!!!!!!"

omgggg that line was so funny, i busted out laughing so hard. my favorite line in the whole movie .

as for the topic..i wish i could give some sort of insight but ive been real lucky to where most of the people around me (friends and relatives my age) are still in college anyway.