change4penny

There are no words to describe how low I was in the midst of my addiction. I hit several 'rock bottoms'. When my mom died, I hit a bottom that I didn't think that I wanted to recover from.
I heard a song today that I've heard before, but back then, it held no meaning for me. It describes everything that I was feeling at the lowest point of my life:

"Runaway Train"

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blow torch burnin'
I was a key that could use a little turnin'

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
I promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in to deep there's no way out
This time I really led myself astray
(chorus)
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile
make it all somehow seem worth while
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just a drownin' in the rain
With a ticket to a runaway train

And everything seems cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it
(chorus)
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin at the rain
A little out of touch a little insane
It's just easier than dealin with the pain
(chorus)
Runaway train never coming back
Runaway train tearing up the track
Runaway train burning in my veins
I runaway but it always seems the same
-Soul Asylum

I was driving today when I heard this song. I had to pull over cause it felt like I had the wind knocked out of me.
God I'm so grateful for being where I am today.

God bless the addict that's still on the "runaway train"

Penny


I was i

scaredtostp

I love that song, so relevant isnt it......thanks for posting, made me feel good inside:ghug

vicodaniel

Its amazing how certain songs bring up emotions or strike a chord. Thats one of the reasons I love playing music. There are so many great songs to cover, somtimes I can't remember the ones I liked when practice time rolls around.

Shellslove

when I was in junior high, every few months we’d have an assembly program...they’d bring in huge screens and first show shots of kids having fun doing ‘healthy activities’ - playing basketball/team sports, school related stuff, kids just hanging around goofing together....then they’d show some of the ‘cautionary tale’ kids and flash pictures of missing children w/runaway dates under the faces - so of course, they’d play this song. I remember all the kids used to laugh and give the guy running the film a hard time, mocking and what not – I mean, they we were naive kids! I think even then though, I knew I’d eventually get caught up on the ‘runaway train’ - this song always got me choked up. And it still does, every time I randomly hear it – I get a little teary eyed – it makes me sad for those who never found their way, and the families that suffer. And it makes me thankful I didn’t wind up as one of those ‘missing’ faces - symbolically or IRL - because I know I so easily could have. I hold onto my sobriety with dear life....music has always been a big part of my life and this is a song that hits close to home.

SteppingItUp

Great song Penny!

The only thing is that now I've been walking around with it playing in my head all day! LoL, it's funny because it's true.

You're right, I've heard that song a thousand times before, but I had never thought about it in the same way as I do now.

It seems a whole lot of music is doing the same thing these days!

YouTube = too much instant access to good music!

Tryin2Recover

wow...this was one of my fav songs in my early teen years. But I never listened to it through the ears of an addict. Brings a whole new meaning to this wonderful song. Thanks penny.

bval

I saw SA on that very tour, actually, they opened for the Spin Doctors (and blew them off the stage, to be blunt) ... That whole album is rock solid, start to finish. I still like to strum the first two from that cd, 'somebody to shove', and the song that starts out 'two boys on the playground, tryin to push each other down ...' I forget what it's called ...

Good memories, man.

Latte

Great song.

Chiy had a Youtube inbedded in her sig the other day TI Pain I believe. "Dead and Gone" I think. Oh my, it spoke to me. I'm just trying to find my way back home.

Dead and Gone lyrics by T.I. | T.I. lyrics Really I just relate to the chorus, but it really moved me.

I've been travelin on this road too long (too long)
Just tryin to find my way back home (back home)
The old me's dead and gone,
Dead and Gone,
And Ohh.. (hey)
I've been travelin on this road too long (too long)
Just tryin to find my way back home (back home)
The old me's dead and gone,
Dead and Gone, yeahhe