acehood629

I am having a very hard time with a step I need to take in my recovery. I've been putting it off for a long time, and I know I can't keep doing that.
I am facing my own addiction with opiates for the first time in my life, and i have a family full of opiate addicts. They taught me to take a pill for everything and anything. Have a chipped nail? Take a vicodin. You know? And to top it all off, most of them are nurses. HA.

Anyway, I've been keeping my distance from all of them, and have not gotten the guts to tell them why I have stayed away. I'm terrified of hurting their feelings. My husband says I shouldn't care if it upsets them after "what they did to me"... But I don't see it that way. I don't blame them for what choices I made in my life. Even though I was only 14-15 when they started putting pain pills in my face. It was always my choice, and I made the wrong ones. On top of the addictions, the relationships are very unhealthy, they are all enablers and blame each other for their problems. I say they because I am trying to stop my own behavior cycle by recognizing it and getting help. I am in NA, I have a sponsor and am working the 12 steps. And I have 12 days clean.

I have a 2 year old daughter that they all love to death, and I don't want her to grow the way I did. Seeing her aunts and Grandma taking pills, and possibly offering them to her too. I will NOT let that happen... I just need some advice on how to break this to them sensitively I guess. Part of me wants to just scream it at them, but I need to be better than that.
If anyone has any suggestions, I would really appreciate it..

Thanks for the support, I love you all

Freedom1990

I used to be a people-pleaser, well into my recovery too. That created a lot of pain in my life.

Chances are someone out of that bunch is not going to be happy, no matter how you handle it, and that is their problem.

You have every right in the world to distance yourself and keep your daughter safe!

Congrats on your 12 days clean! :ghug

Bernadette

Just remember there is a whole world of "rational" behavior between breaking it to them "sensitively" or screaming at them!

If you are boxed into a corner and feel you need to make a statement start practicing what you can say so you aren't caught tongue tied. Write out a little script for yourself. Stick to it. Use "I" statements. You'll feel stronger every time you do.

So it's Ok to say "I've let my addiction to opiates take too much of my life away and so for my own protection I need to maintain a no contact policy with people, places and things that remind me of my addiction. It's not about you- it's about me, I'm sure you understand!"
They may try to argue with you that you don't have a problem, I've seen "friends" do this with my alcoholic brothers all the time. Crazy! Just be strong and say "Well that's for ME to decide isn't it?!"

And whatever you need to do to protect your daughter DO IT! No apologies necessary to anyone. You know what you wish was different about your childhood, what you should have been protected from - don't be in denial about that - and I for one salute your efforts to keep your Dear Daughter from getting caught up in that unhealthy family dynamic.

Congrats on your 12 days!! Well done. Keep the focus on you and YOUR child, you'll never regret that!

peace,
b