what is an alcoholic ??????
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: carlisle uk cumbria
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what is an alcoholic ??????
is an alcoholic a person who once starts cant stop or finds it very hard to stop ..or is it that person cant go without a drink for a certain lenght of time ..my dad has been a heavy drinker all his life i dont think there has been more than 2 weeks ever where he has not drank ...on average he must go out 3 times a week all his adult life and he says to me im lucky drink has not got a hold of me....... does an alcoholic drink 24 hours a day or 10 hours a day or just 5 days a week or just every weekend ?????
When I got into recovery many years ago, I had to keep things simple. This explanation from page 44, first paragraph, of The Big Book Of AA 'hit the nail on the head for me.'
Then taking it a bit further I came to understand that
All Alcoholics are problem drinkers, but
Not all Problem Drinkers are alcoholics.
Came to understand, that a Problem Drinker given enough motivation ie loss of job, family, etc seems to be able to put the brakes on. Alcoholics, no way is moderation possible.
After being in recovery for several years I took a further look at this with relationship to my father. I, until that time, used to say I believed my father to be an alcoholic.
However, now almost 28 years later I don't know. Yes, he has passed. I cannot remember a time when my father did not have at least 10 cases of Wild Turkey in the garage and usually 12 (if he was down to 10 it was time to buy some.)
He drank all the time, almost lost some jobs due to it, but always had another before he could be fired. Was never mean, Would get a little 'irritable' but not much if he gave it up for say Lent. But, other than Lent, I don't believe my father ever went a day without a certain amount of Alcohol in his system.
You see he knew how much he would drink in a night, a day, a week, and it rarely changed. And that amount was a lot. In his later years he switched to Vodka and Tonic (he lived in Southern Florida). He knew EXACTLY how much Tonic and how much Vodka to buy for the week.
Once in a great while he would get really 'chit faced' when they would go out, maybe once every 3 or 4 months.
To this day I don't know if he was 'an alcoholic' but I do know he could not function for very long without a set amount of alcohol in his system.
Me, I know I am one. I could 'control' my drinking for very short periods only. I enjoyed my drinking very much, too much. Control and enjoy at the same time? Never happened, and I know where my drinking took me. I have no doubts about myself, and I guess that's all I am sure of, I am an Alcoholic who has been in remission for almost 28 years now.
I will add, if your father's drinking is causing you problems you might want to try AlAnon which is a great support group for Friends and Familys of Alcoholics.
Hope that helps a bit.
Love and hugs,
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if, when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.
All Alcoholics are problem drinkers, but
Not all Problem Drinkers are alcoholics.
Came to understand, that a Problem Drinker given enough motivation ie loss of job, family, etc seems to be able to put the brakes on. Alcoholics, no way is moderation possible.
After being in recovery for several years I took a further look at this with relationship to my father. I, until that time, used to say I believed my father to be an alcoholic.
However, now almost 28 years later I don't know. Yes, he has passed. I cannot remember a time when my father did not have at least 10 cases of Wild Turkey in the garage and usually 12 (if he was down to 10 it was time to buy some.)
He drank all the time, almost lost some jobs due to it, but always had another before he could be fired. Was never mean, Would get a little 'irritable' but not much if he gave it up for say Lent. But, other than Lent, I don't believe my father ever went a day without a certain amount of Alcohol in his system.
You see he knew how much he would drink in a night, a day, a week, and it rarely changed. And that amount was a lot. In his later years he switched to Vodka and Tonic (he lived in Southern Florida). He knew EXACTLY how much Tonic and how much Vodka to buy for the week.
Once in a great while he would get really 'chit faced' when they would go out, maybe once every 3 or 4 months.
To this day I don't know if he was 'an alcoholic' but I do know he could not function for very long without a set amount of alcohol in his system.
Me, I know I am one. I could 'control' my drinking for very short periods only. I enjoyed my drinking very much, too much. Control and enjoy at the same time? Never happened, and I know where my drinking took me. I have no doubts about myself, and I guess that's all I am sure of, I am an Alcoholic who has been in remission for almost 28 years now.
I will add, if your father's drinking is causing you problems you might want to try AlAnon which is a great support group for Friends and Familys of Alcoholics.
Hope that helps a bit.
Love and hugs,
It's not how much you drink, or what you drink, or how often - it's what happens to you when you're drinking. I know I'm an alcoholic cause I can't control my drinking, it controls me. ONly way for me to defeat this addiction is to surrender to its power and not touch another drop ever.
A binge drinker doesn't drink every day but when they do drink they can't control it or can't control what happens to them.
A binge drinker doesn't drink every day but when they do drink they can't control it or can't control what happens to them.
I really don't know how to classify 'alcoholic.' I don't even know that I am one, if there's some cookie-cutter definition. To me it doesn't matter. My alcohol (and drug) use was interfering with my ability to live a happy life, to live the way I wanted to live. To me that's as much of a definition as I need. It's subjective, but it works for me. I may not be clinically addicted, but I was sure miserable.
The fact that your dad tells you you're lucky drink has not got hold of you is a giant red flag, to me. I see it as an indication that he is not entirely happy with his habits.
I will note that by this:
I am probably not an alkie. And then, there's the other definition (sort of gleaned from watching too many episodes of Intervention) that basically implies I am addicted, I just managed to hit bottom earlier than most. Perhaps I'm more averse to watching my life fall apart than some addicts, or I'm just a wimp about it.
The fact that your dad tells you you're lucky drink has not got hold of you is a giant red flag, to me. I see it as an indication that he is not entirely happy with his habits.
I will note that by this:
I am probably not an alkie. And then, there's the other definition (sort of gleaned from watching too many episodes of Intervention) that basically implies I am addicted, I just managed to hit bottom earlier than most. Perhaps I'm more averse to watching my life fall apart than some addicts, or I'm just a wimp about it.
Too me, an alcoholic is someone who MUST have a drink and/or will go irrational and do weird things like I am doing now :-)
I'm starting to wonder if Baby Boomers became alcoholics because of depressing jobs they tried to stay for 30 years. Which is why I'm trying to change jobs, move to a new home for a change, and could that reduce the drinking? Maybe not.
I'm starting to wonder if Baby Boomers became alcoholics because of depressing jobs they tried to stay for 30 years. Which is why I'm trying to change jobs, move to a new home for a change, and could that reduce the drinking? Maybe not.
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For me, only I can say whether I am an alcoholic - which I am. It's not for me to say whether someone else is.
How did I know? Drink cost me much more than money, I could not stop after one drink, could not take it or leave it, was "chemically dependent" on it, had physical withdrawals, could not control my behavor whilst under the influence.
I was powerless over alcohol and my Life was totally unmanageable.
The al anon suggestion is a good one.
How did I know? Drink cost me much more than money, I could not stop after one drink, could not take it or leave it, was "chemically dependent" on it, had physical withdrawals, could not control my behavor whilst under the influence.
I was powerless over alcohol and my Life was totally unmanageable.
The al anon suggestion is a good one.
I just have to put this out there because I don't know why you're asking, however, if you're looking for a "title", beware. As Laurie said, there are different measures and when it comes down to it, only the person doing the "using" or drinking can tell you what they are. I hope that helps too.
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