katie53

It.s been awhile,but I still read all I can. Daughter is in town for Easter. She came today, but went directly over to her exabf house. I guess they are keeping in touch on a regular basis. She had me convinced it was over and she would never go back to that life. Drugs, beatings, stealing etc. She gets tested from her P.O. and has come up clean for 4 months, has a full-time job 60 mi. away and seems good. BUT, why would she even want to be around this guy after 4 yrs. of hell? She stayed away from him only 3 months after her release from a 6 month jail term. She says its only because of their daughter (that I have custody of) The only time he sees his daughter is when mom is in town, otherwise he never comes around. I know she will ask about Easter dinner. I don't want him here as her 14 yr does not like him. I don't mind if he wants to come and watch the egg hunt AFTER dinner, but I don't want to feed him. I am dreding that question"can he come over for dinner" She may be clean, but I think that,s the only thing that's changed.

lostparent

Your house your dinner don't have him over ! She knows how you feel an shouldn't even ask so don't feel bad about saying no. Your being generous enough even allowing him over for the Easter egg hunt .

outtolunch

Welcome ex? BF with open arms after he pays all past due child support.

Freedom1990

Just because she's testing clean doesn't mean she's clean. My EXAH had regularly scheduled UA's (he was on parole) and he beat them every time.

As the others have said, it's your house, and you have the right to say no to him coming over for dinner, or anything else for that matter.

katie53

good morning, Well, it went well. I dug my heels in and did it. She asked me if he could come over on Easter. I said "he can come after dinner to see his daughter" I think she was taken back, but so be it. He showed up with nothing for her not even a hard boiled egg!!She had asked if her could stop by the Sat. evening before and again I said no. Gee, I'm proud of me!!! thanks for the support

MsPINKAcres

good for you!!
Healthy boundaries are always a good thing for everyone - remember in taking care of ourselves we are teaching others about self-care and giving them permission to learn how to take care of themselves too!!!

HUGS to you!!

Serenity Bound

Katie, Good Job!!!!

Spiritual Seeker

Way to flex your "boundaries" muscle.
Do it often enough and unreasonable requests from others start to diminish.