GailJ

so sorry . drunk. very very dunk. dont khow what else to say but sorry

GailJ

think I just failled

Dee74

Hi Gail
I don't know you, I don't know your back history...but I've read your posts recently.
I was a drunk too - for 15 years - I ended up being an all day everyday drunk.

I decided I deserved a better life.
Whatever my problems were - and I was self medicating too - drinking was making them worse not better.

I just decided I would do *anything* before I drank - post here, phone a friend, go for a walk, scream into a pillow...

In a few days I'll have 2 years. It's not easy - but it is possible

Just...try something different Gail - something that reaffirms your spirit, not something that destroys it - anything.

We only fail when we give up.

You deserve better than what you're giving yourself.

Good luck and best wishes
D

NeedingHelp7

Gail please don't take any meds w/ the beer, and get some help ASAP. You are on a slippery slope right now, and need some help.

Praying for ya.

NH7

historyteach

Each day is a new day and a new chance for success.
Take it one step at a time, Gail.

Shalom!

Lenina

Gail,

I hope by the time you read this you are feeling better. For me, alcohol made the anxiety and depression much worse.

Take care of yourself.

Love,

Lenina

Astro

Gail, good to see that you're continuing to reach out for support, please get some help with your recovery. Mixing the meds with the beer can be deadly, we want you to stay safe and stick around, OK?

Astro

Ya know Gail, it takes a lot of courage to post here when you're drinking, and to admit that you need help. I didn't have that kind of courage for many years.

How about using some of that mojo to reach out for for some serious help, to really do this deal?

aasharon90

I use to keep touching the hot
burner on the stove and guess
what?

I kept burning my hand.

After failed attempt after attempt
I learned I was powerless over it.

The same thing as was with drinking.

I kept doing the same thing recieving
the same result time after time.

I was taught in recovery about change.

And it had to begin changing people,
places and things dealing with alcohol.

Change means getting rid of those things
that would tempt us to drink.

It's a first step.

Freedom1990

I remember when even a day at a time was too much, so I would just promise myself I wouldn't drink for the next five minutes. When that was up, I'd go for five more minutes. I just kept that up.

I used to have terrible anxiety when I first got sober. I'd pick up the phone and call someone. I'd get some books to read and busy my mind.

Please know that I care. Keep posting. :ghug :ghug

GailJ

Thanks so much I should know better than to contact family, especially the member I spoke with last night, that triggered the binge, I should have known better.

GailJ

ps I will not take any sequels when I drink, I did that with the ativans three yrs ago and blacked out while driving, DUI smashed up the car and thank god no one was hurt but me.

GailJ

going to sleep it off.

aasharon90

Sleeping it off is a good thing. At least when
we sleep we cant use or drink. Right?

My family still trigger emotions that pizz
me off or anger me.

They r not healthy people, esp. my mom,
to contact any longer as i figured that
out once again last week.

Even after all these yrs. she still is the
same and i know she will never change,
and yet i keeping thinking she may.

So my life continues without that mother
daughter bond.

Today I cant afford to allow people like
her to continue to push my buttons and
ruffle my feathers.

As of now ive cut my ties with her once
again and remember the word ACCEPTANCE,
of people places and things just as they r
suppose to be.

When u wake up, then with some clarity u
can proceed to make a small change towards
a healthier you.

GailJ

I'm awake, eating drinking milk andgetting rid of the rest of the beer, down the drain.

Astro

Well Gail, hope you don't buy more. It is possible to live without alcohol, nobody dies from not taking another drink. Do it safely, get medical supervision if necessary.

Please have a good weekend, enjoy life as much as possible.

Dee74

I second what Astro says
have a good weekend Gail...

D

GailJ

much more settled now, anx is easing, this too shall pass. back to work monday, cleaning for the day today.

irishmalcolm

"Our Spiritual and emotional growth does not depend so deeply on success as it does upon our failures and setbacks. If you bear this in mind, I think your slip will have the effect of kicking you upstairs, instead of down.
We have had no better teacher than Old Man Adversity, except in those cases where we refuse to let him teach us."
Bill W. Letter 1958.

I love that quote. My last slip kicked me up a step on the stairs. As my sponsor says, every alcoholic eventually quits for good, it's just nice to be alive when it happens.

Last time out I managed 3 days drinking, quit taking my prescribed medication, and OD'ed on heroin on the 3rd night. Ended up in hospital after being revived. I'm lucky to be alive. Then 2 weeks of absolute shame and guilt that I do these things. Kept thinking of my two friends in AA who killed themselves last year. One was 39, the other 23. They both did it after a slip, not during the drinking.

I'm glad you poured that drink down the sink. And that your feeling better. God bless you,
love
Malcolm

GailJ

Thankyou so much for the inspirational quote. I really needed to here that after trying to talk to critical family, we all need support from time to time. It's always sad to here of those who didn't make it. Let it give us all the courage not to give up ever.

:ghug3