if anyone can help me keep my promises.....
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
if anyone can help me keep my promises.....
If any of you read my post today/yesterday....I vowed to make some new choices about MY actions/behavior.
tonight is my first trial run.
The abf said "i gotta go see someone.... be back shortly"........
URGH. I wanted to behave like normal. I wanted to get angry. I wanted to say "what time will you be home".....
as I said earlier, I'm not reacting anymore. I will not stand in his way or attempt to have ANY control over ANYTHING he wants to do.
Help me stay strong guys.
Give me some advice, skills... anything..... to NOT react when he gets back. I KNOW he went to get pills. I did good when he left, and acted like I didn't care. Not mad 'didn't care'.... rather... a 'thats fine' attitude.
I don't want to EVER break another promise that I've made to help myself. Just having a little struggle - trying to 'stop' old patterns/behavior. Don't get me wrong.... I never tried to 'stop HIM' - but I used to have 'something to say' about whatever...... NO MORE!!
Help me stay strong.
THankyou so much..... I apologize for needing alot lately.....
Love,
cess
tonight is my first trial run.
The abf said "i gotta go see someone.... be back shortly"........
URGH. I wanted to behave like normal. I wanted to get angry. I wanted to say "what time will you be home".....
as I said earlier, I'm not reacting anymore. I will not stand in his way or attempt to have ANY control over ANYTHING he wants to do.
Help me stay strong guys.
Give me some advice, skills... anything..... to NOT react when he gets back. I KNOW he went to get pills. I did good when he left, and acted like I didn't care. Not mad 'didn't care'.... rather... a 'thats fine' attitude.
I don't want to EVER break another promise that I've made to help myself. Just having a little struggle - trying to 'stop' old patterns/behavior. Don't get me wrong.... I never tried to 'stop HIM' - but I used to have 'something to say' about whatever...... NO MORE!!
Help me stay strong.
THankyou so much..... I apologize for needing alot lately.....
Love,
cess
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 410
Start focusing on you. What would you like to do tonight? Visit a friend, go to a movie, for a walk, to the gym, go to an al-anon meeting? Work on you, do something good and healthy for yourself. (((hugs)))
Last edited by BohemiMamaof3; 03-20-2009 at 06:45 PM. Reason: typo
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Location: twilight zone,usa
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work your recovery while he is out. read around here. find a good book. visit a friend.
anything you like to do & couldn't because of him. go to bed early & have a great day tomorrow.prayers for you & him.
anything you like to do & couldn't because of him. go to bed early & have a great day tomorrow.prayers for you & him.
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thanks guys.....
anvil... you should get paid for your time and effort 'helping others' here....
I want to keep my word to ME for a change. I keep my word to EVERYONE in my world except for me.
Not this time, and it is about survival right now.
I did tell myself tonight what you suggested.... (there is nothing I can do to control any of it. Including if he were out high as a kite screwing around on me.... whatever. It is himself he'd have to look at in the morning. it is HIS own concisous... his potential arrest, his potential DUI, all on HIM NOT ME!!)
I also have a very very clean house right now. Mopped the floors, scrubbed the bathrooms, made corned beef in the crock pot (a few minutes ago ) for tomorrow nite... and had a big italian dinner earlier with my younger son. He's in bed now, and I'm going to hang here on SR - chain smoke, and have a cup of coffee....
Thank you.
anvil... you should get paid for your time and effort 'helping others' here....
I want to keep my word to ME for a change. I keep my word to EVERYONE in my world except for me.
Not this time, and it is about survival right now.
I did tell myself tonight what you suggested.... (there is nothing I can do to control any of it. Including if he were out high as a kite screwing around on me.... whatever. It is himself he'd have to look at in the morning. it is HIS own concisous... his potential arrest, his potential DUI, all on HIM NOT ME!!)
I also have a very very clean house right now. Mopped the floors, scrubbed the bathrooms, made corned beef in the crock pot (a few minutes ago
) for tomorrow nite... and had a big italian dinner earlier with my younger son. He's in bed now, and I'm going to hang here on SR - chain smoke, and have a cup of coffee....Thank you.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sunshine State
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Originally Posted by cessy68 
I also have a very very clean house right now. Mopped the floors, scrubbed the bathrooms, made corned beef in the crock pot (a few minutes ago
)
...I'm going to hang here on SR - chain smoke, and have a cup of coffee....
Thank you.
Thank you.
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Location: lancaster, PA
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lol.........
I knew the chain smokeing comment wouldn't fly.... lol
BUT at least its my only vice, and I'm quite honest about it... AND it's legal. P.s. the stress will kill me before the ciggs... lol.
Love
cess
I knew the chain smokeing comment wouldn't fly.... lol
BUT at least its my only vice, and I'm quite honest about it... AND it's legal. P.s. the stress will kill me before the ciggs... lol.
Love
cess
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did I mention that while cleaning the bathroom.... I had to mop and dust a TON - because the abf has a new addiction to baby powder???
He pours it all over him... and the rest of the bathroom every morning.
Maybe it helps the itchies from the pills???
Anyhoo..... in such a passive - aggressive style- I HID THE DANG POWDER TONIGHT!!!!
No more powder... no more mess for cinderella over here!!!
He pours it all over him... and the rest of the bathroom every morning.
Maybe it helps the itchies from the pills???
Anyhoo..... in such a passive - aggressive style- I HID THE DANG POWDER TONIGHT!!!!
No more powder... no more mess for cinderella over here!!!
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Anvil beat me to it...I was willing to hire you
Is there anything you've always wanted the time to do but was too busy trying to take care of everyone else? Now may be a good time to let yourself dive into it.
When I get stressed I start a project thats usually way out of my league. Unfortunately, I often get tired before its completed. So I have a lot of semi-completed projects going ( And alot of wood trim in strange places to hide the goofs).
(((MyJoey)) You made me laugh
Is there anything you've always wanted the time to do but was too busy trying to take care of everyone else? Now may be a good time to let yourself dive into it.
When I get stressed I start a project thats usually way out of my league. Unfortunately, I often get tired before its completed. So I have a lot of semi-completed projects going ( And alot of wood trim in strange places to hide the goofs).
(((MyJoey)) You made me laugh
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
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Indifference is good; however, you have to let him know you have boundaries too, and consequences if the boundaries are broken.
Do you know how many promises I have broken to myself?? The time will come when you will have had enough. When that time comes, you will know exactly what you have to do.
In the meantime, take care of yourself first!
Hugs, Devastated
Do you know how many promises I have broken to myself?? The time will come when you will have had enough. When that time comes, you will know exactly what you have to do.
In the meantime, take care of yourself first!
Hugs, Devastated
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Originally Posted by MyJoey
Hey Cassy,
Since we are in the same area, everytime he steps out you can come over and hit my AS. Beat him up if you like he can't run, he is on house arrest. LOL, got to laugh it sure is better then crying.
Since we are in the same area, everytime he steps out you can come over and hit my AS. Beat him up if you like he can't run, he is on house arrest. LOL, got to laugh it sure is better then crying.
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Originally Posted by anvilhead
you wanna come over here next? you know in case you need to work out some stress? i had to get a load of work clothes going as hank has to work tomorrow....of course there's a load IN the dryer and i had a load of whites soaking.....i've done nothing about dinner but get some kalbi chicken breast thawing....i have two dogs as close to me as they can get while fighting over a chew toy.....della is humping bucky....love that, please make sure and do that trick when guests come by.....that's about as much chaos as my life has room for these days.....
you know in case you need to work out some stress? i had to get a load of work clothes going as hank has to work tomorrow....of course there's a load IN the dryer and i had a load of whites soaking.....i've done nothing about dinner but get some kalbi chicken breast thawing....i have two dogs as close to me as they can get while fighting over a chew toy.....della is humping bucky....love that, please make sure and do that trick when guests come by.....that's about as much chaos as my life has room for these days.....Until then, Perhaps I could send ya a cooler full of food like I do for my daughter away at college...
The laundry... naaaaaa.
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Originally Posted by cece1960
Anvil beat me to it...I was willing to hire you
Is there anything you've always wanted the time to do but was too busy trying to take care of everyone else? Now may be a good time to let yourself dive into it.
When I get stressed I start a project thats usually way out of my league. Unfortunately, I often get tired before its completed. So I have a lot of semi-completed projects going ( And alot of wood trim in strange places to hide the goofs).
(((MyJoey)) You made me laugh
Is there anything you've always wanted the time to do but was too busy trying to take care of everyone else? Now may be a good time to let yourself dive into it.
When I get stressed I start a project thats usually way out of my league. Unfortunately, I often get tired before its completed. So I have a lot of semi-completed projects going ( And alot of wood trim in strange places to hide the goofs).
(((MyJoey)) You made me laugh
however, I should have one really really clean house soon!!
thx,
love cess
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K guys, wanna good laugh about how things kinda work themselves out??
The abf actually came home within an hour. I did well.... just kept cleaning.....
He's staring at me running around with mops, dusters, (not kidding... a backpack filled with paper towels, windex....on my back cleaning like a freak of nature)
running up the stairs... down the stairs... up the stairs.....
He's on the couch... "hon? Is everything allright?"
LOL
I looked like magda in 'something about mary ' (the movie) when she had a hit of speed dropped in her margharita and she was vacumeing like a crazy woman... lol
So... I said "yep... just cleaning.
He keeps staring at me, and then I take out my bill box, and all the unopend bills....
I start ripping them open, filing, etc.
He says... "hon... do you need help with any of those bills...???? Is anything really pressing that you need me to pay?"
SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I repsond.
Yep, the lord works in mysterious ways!!!
LOL
Now I'm chilling with my no good ciggs in peace in my room talking with you all!!
Thanks,
love,
cess
The abf actually came home within an hour. I did well.... just kept cleaning.....
He's staring at me running around with mops, dusters, (not kidding... a backpack filled with paper towels, windex....on my back cleaning like a freak of nature)
running up the stairs... down the stairs... up the stairs.....
He's on the couch... "hon? Is everything allright?"
LOL
I looked like magda in 'something about mary ' (the movie) when she had a hit of speed dropped in her margharita and she was vacumeing like a crazy woman...
lol So... I said "yep... just cleaning.
He keeps staring at me, and then I take out my bill box, and all the unopend bills....
I start ripping them open, filing, etc.
He says... "hon... do you need help with any of those bills...???? Is anything really pressing that you need me to pay?"
SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I repsond.
Yep, the lord works in mysterious ways!!!
LOL
Now I'm chilling with my no good ciggs in peace in my room talking with you all!!
Thanks,
love,
cess
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Other than having a shiny house, what do you like to do, Cessy?
Any particular hobbies, interests...passions (not the human kind, lol...we don't need that detail)
One thing I've found is I've stopped fearing doing something alone. I may even be a little too content to be by myself. I've rediscovered things I've always loved to do but stopped doing because I was too busy doing for others...and I've found new interests and passions. Like Cece I am in and out of big projects, and hikes and cycling and long long walks are incedbily comforting...And music...it's hard to be in a funk when really good music is playing...
Any particular hobbies, interests...passions (not the human kind, lol...we don't need that detail
) One thing I've found is I've stopped fearing doing something alone. I may even be a little too content to be by myself. I've rediscovered things I've always loved to do but stopped doing because I was too busy doing for others...and I've found new interests and passions. Like Cece I am in and out of big projects, and hikes and cycling and long long walks are incedbily comforting...And music...it's hard to be in a funk when really good music is playing...
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Originally Posted by greeteachday
Other than having a shiny house, what do you like to do, Cessy?
Any particular hobbies, interests...passions (not the human kind, lol...we don't need that detail)
One thing I've found is I've stopped fearing doing something alone. I may even be a little too content to be by myself. I've rediscovered things I've always loved to do but stopped doing because I was too busy doing for others...and I've found new interests and passions. Like Cece I am in and out of big projects, and hikes and cycling and long long walks are incedbily comforting...And music...it's hard to be in a funk when really good music is playing...
Any particular hobbies, interests...passions (not the human kind, lol...we don't need that detail
) One thing I've found is I've stopped fearing doing something alone. I may even be a little too content to be by myself. I've rediscovered things I've always loved to do but stopped doing because I was too busy doing for others...and I've found new interests and passions. Like Cece I am in and out of big projects, and hikes and cycling and long long walks are incedbily comforting...And music...it's hard to be in a funk when really good music is playing...
I would have ventured out to karaoke tonight.... but the kids aren't with their dad this weekend.
My younger one will be having friends over tomorrow nite so that will be fun.
I also love to cook, dance, run on the treadmill, write poetry, go to bookstores and coffee houses.
Seeing it was late, and the kids were home tonight.... I figured I'd get the house nice and clean... then I'll really enjoy my free time the rest of the weekend!!
Thanks for asking.
Love,
cess
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,384
I wish that I would start cleaning when I got stressed. Then, my house would be a lot cleaner.
The corned beef sounds good! Cooking always helps me feel better.
Do you crochet or knit? I like to crochet, and I've found that it has a calming effect. I lose my interest in crochet when it gets warm. So, I haven't been doing much of that lately.
It sounds like you did a good job this evening.
The corned beef sounds good! Cooking always helps me feel better.
Do you crochet or knit? I like to crochet, and I've found that it has a calming effect. I lose my interest in crochet when it gets warm. So, I haven't been doing much of that lately.
It sounds like you did a good job this evening.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
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Wow, singing!!! I'm afraid that I would never do that in public. I actually play several instruments, but I haven't done that lately.
I love dancing. I enjoy running, but I do not like running on a treadmill. It bores me to tears. We go running outside.
A hot bubble bath always makes me feel better. I found this stuff the other day--it is epson salts with lavender. Walgreens sells their own brand. It's good for relaxing.
I love dancing. I enjoy running, but I do not like running on a treadmill. It bores me to tears. We go running outside.
A hot bubble bath always makes me feel better. I found this stuff the other day--it is epson salts with lavender. Walgreens sells their own brand. It's good for relaxing.
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