My addiction story..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 78
My addiction story..
Hi everyone,
My name is RC, I'm 30 years old.. I am currently addicted to Oxycontin and alcohol. I've been taking opiates for around 5 years now. I've been a heavy user for the past 2 years. I'm up to around 350mg a day. I drink alcohol heavily as well, so I'm battling two addictions.
I've pretty much hidden my pill addiction from everyone, my girlfriend kind of suspected a few months back, when she found some Vicodin in my pocket but I blew it off and told her she was tripping. She was also suspect of me waking up in the middle of the night and going in my pockets, or in the closet. I was experiencing withdrawal, but she didn't know. It never interfered with my job because I never see my boss, and I pretty much make my own schedule and do my own thing. So I had some fake sense of "well I'm not like the rest of them" . Well guess what? I AM.. to make matters worst I just found out that I will be being laid off in 2 weeks. Just the thought of that makes me want to use more. I feel so overwhelmed, and alone because no one knows about my addiction.
I built up enough courage to go to a suboxone Dr. today. I wasn't prescribed the medication today, he basically told me to come back Saturday morning, and to make sure I'm in withdrawal. I've tried to stop on my own, but the watery eyes, vomiting, diarrhea, and yawning drove me insane. The worst are the stomach cramps. I'm so afraid of that feeling, I don't know what to do?
However I'm so sick and tired of spending my money on pills and alcohol. I've pawned things that I regret, borrowed money from friends and never paid them back etc..
I'm just scared and wondering what I should expect the next couple of weeks? I know I'm in for one hell of a battle, trying to kick 2 habits, but I need myself back, and my daughter needs her daddy back.
My name is RC, I'm 30 years old.. I am currently addicted to Oxycontin and alcohol. I've been taking opiates for around 5 years now. I've been a heavy user for the past 2 years. I'm up to around 350mg a day. I drink alcohol heavily as well, so I'm battling two addictions.
I've pretty much hidden my pill addiction from everyone, my girlfriend kind of suspected a few months back, when she found some Vicodin in my pocket but I blew it off and told her she was tripping. She was also suspect of me waking up in the middle of the night and going in my pockets, or in the closet. I was experiencing withdrawal, but she didn't know. It never interfered with my job because I never see my boss, and I pretty much make my own schedule and do my own thing. So I had some fake sense of "well I'm not like the rest of them" . Well guess what? I AM.. to make matters worst I just found out that I will be being laid off in 2 weeks. Just the thought of that makes me want to use more. I feel so overwhelmed, and alone because no one knows about my addiction.
I built up enough courage to go to a suboxone Dr. today. I wasn't prescribed the medication today, he basically told me to come back Saturday morning, and to make sure I'm in withdrawal. I've tried to stop on my own, but the watery eyes, vomiting, diarrhea, and yawning drove me insane. The worst are the stomach cramps. I'm so afraid of that feeling, I don't know what to do?
However I'm so sick and tired of spending my money on pills and alcohol. I've pawned things that I regret, borrowed money from friends and never paid them back etc..
I'm just scared and wondering what I should expect the next couple of weeks? I know I'm in for one hell of a battle, trying to kick 2 habits, but I need myself back, and my daughter needs her daddy back.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 331
You are free of the mental addiction if you can discuss it with us on SR. You need to kick the physical which i found easier. When i quit drinking cold turkey it was shake rattle and roll for days, bad dreams, cold sweats, nervousness and a state of WTF and where the hell am I. Make sure you allow yourself time to "come down" and then work on the steps. Right now health is the main focus that and the safety of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,249
Hey Paperboy, there is alot of hope for you. You have a treatable disease called addiction. It's no joke and it could kill you if left untreated. The good news is that you can recover if you really want to. I was also addicted to opiates for 10 years. I got clean, with the help of suboxone, and alot of smart choices. First off, stay away from the drug scene. People. Places, and Things. You will want to pick up for weeks and months after you stop using. DONT. Stay strong and work hard, Go to NA/AA and sit in on some meetings. You will get alot of love and support there. It's up to you, not to put that garbage in your body. This addiction will run your life, if you don't put it in check. In order to get clean and straight, you have to really want it. It sounds like you do. It will take some time to get back to normal, so don't expect to feel great in 2 days. Sometimes it takes months to get past the urge to use. Just know that it will pass, if you just dont use. The suboxone will help alot, but it's also hard to come off of. You might have a bit of anxiety, and some aches and pains. Nothing that you can't tolerate. Don't drink with the suboxone. I suggest you speak to a drug and alcohol therapist. They are professionals, and can help you with therapy, and the right suggestions. I reccomend, chamomile tea, hot baths, exercise. All of those things will help you. Good Luck and I sure hope you stick to it, and get yourself free from addiction. It can be done
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 83
Paperboy! What a wonderful gift you're working toward giving your daughter and yourself----YOU, a healthy you. As a newcomer taking "baby steps" I have found SR to be a wonderful place to come to for support, understanding and inspiration. Welcome.
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