DavyDave

No, I didn't want to speak. I'm very shy in real life and it will take me a little while to open up.

The thing that kind of ticked me off is that after the meeting was over, I over heard some people talking behind another person's back who was up there telling her life story basically. To top it off they were speaking to someone that wasn't even in the meeting. Now, I really feel bad about the woman they were talking about. Should I tell someone that heads up the meetings about this, or just let it slide?

I thought this was all confidential and everything is kept within the building.

It reminded me of High School all over again. Although, the people in question where like in their 40s.

Meh, this is why I really don't care for group stuff. I rather speak to a therapist 1 on 1.

UncleChunky

Sounds to me like a bunch of dry addicts that aren't intent on working toward recovery. A good NA/AA meeting will have true compassionate people and refrain from behavior that plagues addicts. I dont know the proper protocol but I think each region has a 'director' (for lack of better word). I might consider mentioning what you overheard to them. That type of behavior might send the woman deep into relapse if she heard they were talking about her in a disrespectful way. Then I'd ditch that meeting and find a new one.

windysan

One thing I found out about meetings is that they're comprised of humans and meetings are rarely "anonymous".

windysan

You ain't alone, Dave. Fish make better meetings. They don't talk and they taste good.

Timebuster

It's cracks me up knowing that addicts are the same all over. We have some 'sicker than others' here too

I was advised to stick with the 'winners' when I first cleaned up. I still try to do that, and when I don't, I pay for it, usually quickly.. What others are saying is none of my business.

Keep the focus on yourself. And work the program. Down the road you will understand why.

serenityqueen

I sure hope this wasn't your first and only Meeting you have been too. . . wouldn't want this type of behavior to keep you from going to other Meetings.

I hate to say it, but just about everywhere you go, unfortunately there are the insecure people like that who, instead of focusing on themselves, have to try to knock others down to make themselves feel more secure. I'd just make mental note to stay away from these people in the future.

I am not in anyway knocking NA Meetings, so please, don't think that I am, but I have always felt more comfortable at AA Meetings in my area. I have went to several different NA Meetings and have found at the AA Meetings in the Dayton area, people tend to be more compassionate, friendlier, have more members with a longer term of Sobriety . . . I just felt more welcome all around.

As far as saying anything to anyone, I'd try a different Meeting (a different day and/or time,even if it is at the same location) and if these same people are there and it happens again, maybe you could mention how it makes you feel to the Chairperson of the Meeting afterwards. Let him/her know that you are a newcomer to the Meeting and how uncomfortable it made you feel. You will not be put on frontstreet, but I imagine the Chairperson will bring this up at the next Meeting as a group conscious. Behaviors like this need to be brought to people's attention so it hopefully will make others think before openly bashing someone else.

Glad you're trying Meetings, willing to go to any length, remember?

God Bless,
Judy

windysan

There are alternatives to the 12 steps regardless of what you may read or hear. Some don't need a "fellowship". If you decide on the 12 steps just keep in mind that the steps are the important part and the meetings are just clubhouse talk. Check out LifeRing and SmartRecovery. There are non-religious programs if you need a "program".

I wish you SuperMegaLuckOfTheBuddha !!!

christin1225

Sorry to hear that your experience was so negative. Mine was so good the first time that it encouraged me to keep "coming back" in spite of the difficulty in getting to them.

Unfortunately, DavyDave, each meeting is only as good as those attending it. I commend you for stepping out of your comfort zone (I don't think that it's easy for many) and getting to a meeting.

I would recommend shopping around. I have had good luck with 98% of the NA meetings and a 100% rate of success with the one AA group that I've attended. (I like this group so much that I keep getting up early just to go back instead of looking for another one at a more convenient time.)

Gmoney

DavyDave,

So sorry your 1st NA meeting left a bad impression on you. But as has already been suggested, you may want to shop around. All NA meetings aren't the same nor are all NA members (or people who attend NA meetings). People will be people no matter where you go. Fortunately, there are many NA members who "walk the walk" and are shining examples of what 12 step recovery is all about. If you judge NA as a whole by what you witnessed at one meeting, you may never meet them.

I don't knock it, but for some reason I believe that even some therapists have loose lips. You may want to mention what you heard, but people who like to gossip aren't going to stop because someone lodged a complaint. Like Ivan said, keep the focus on yourself and work your program, the gossipers will work their own in time (or not).

NoelleR

"...I thought this was all confidential and everything is kept within the building..."

.....hmmmmm; well. let's see.....:

...as 'they' say, "What you see here; what you hear here; when you leave here, let it stay here.....

OK, so let's define 'here' ..... is it the building; the street; the city; the county; state; this specific group of people; this group of people, including regular members even if they're not here at the time.....etc., etc., etc......

My definition of 'here' usually ticks lots o folks off (but then I'm usually considered a real ^%$$#@ disturber, so this is a good thing for me), and for me the 'here' talked about is NA (or AA, if it's an AA mtg); and that would be 'all' of NA; everyone, everywhere......but, ps, this doesn't mean I go around gossipping.....lolol

Usually, when I hear stuff like this, well, I just let it slide....consider the source...what other folks think, or say, about me, or about anyone, just doesn't mean a thing to me; it's none of my business.....and I got way better things to do than worry about that stuff too............ (o:

U just keep on keepin' on Davey.......


NoelleR