Acceptance
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,405
Acceptance
Hi, Friends:
A newcomer here asked me what acceptance of my addiction means to me. I am going to write her a response today, but the thought crossed my mind others may have something to offer as well.
We are told that acceptance is the key. How does that work in your life today? I guess this mostly applies to those who have a few days under their belts, but if you are struggling with this concept, feel free to ask questions as well.
The thrust of my answer to her is this: I accept, today, that I can't use mood or mind altering chemicals of any kind. I do not concern myself with what might happen in the future (but what if I need ----- meds?). Today, I cannot. I also accept I may need to jettison people, place and things from my life that may trigger me to want to use. Not, I didn't say trigger me to use, I said to want to use. I don't need to feel those feelings, whether I use or not.
This gets me through today:
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.
c. 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p.417
Not meaning to get too deep, I remain your trusted friend
A newcomer here asked me what acceptance of my addiction means to me. I am going to write her a response today, but the thought crossed my mind others may have something to offer as well.
We are told that acceptance is the key. How does that work in your life today? I guess this mostly applies to those who have a few days under their belts, but if you are struggling with this concept, feel free to ask questions as well.
The thrust of my answer to her is this: I accept, today, that I can't use mood or mind altering chemicals of any kind. I do not concern myself with what might happen in the future (but what if I need ----- meds?). Today, I cannot. I also accept I may need to jettison people, place and things from my life that may trigger me to want to use. Not, I didn't say trigger me to use, I said to want to use. I don't need to feel those feelings, whether I use or not.
This gets me through today:
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.
c. 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p.417
Not meaning to get too deep, I remain your trusted friend
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Join Date: Jul 2007
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Originally Posted by hopefully tryin 
Knowing vs Accepting
For me it took a LONG time to even understand the difference. When I was in active addiction I KNEW I was an addict therefore I didn't feel like I was in denial..BUT it took me until I ACCEPTED being an addict to finally be honest and seek recovery. Recently I have also been able to accept other things in my life.
The main example is that for years I have longed for a "typical" mother daughter relationship w/ my mom. It has just never happened. She has her own addiction issues as well as other mental illness. This has always been a BIG struggle for me to understand why I could not have that relationship that I hear about soo very often. Every time I would think about it my heart would really ache. I have KNOW for years that our relationship isn't a normal or healthy one but it wasn't until recently that I ACCEPTED it. I know that I cannot change her just like I cannot change the fact that no matter how much clean time I have I will always be an addict.
I just simply had to accept it.
Once I did everything started to change. It really brings me back to the serenity prayer (which I have not been saying much btw) When I get to the end where I need the wisdom to know the difference I use to fade out because I didn't really know how to have the wisdom to know the difference.
Now that I have been able to accept a few things that I know will not ever change, things seem to start making more sense and are much easier to handle.
I'm not really sure why I am posting this. Maybe it's because I feel like a light bulb was turned on in my head about this and I really wanted to share it with you guys. Regardless, it helps and you guys are a blessing to me!!
For me it took a LONG time to even understand the difference. When I was in active addiction I KNEW I was an addict therefore I didn't feel like I was in denial..BUT it took me until I ACCEPTED being an addict to finally be honest and seek recovery. Recently I have also been able to accept other things in my life.
The main example is that for years I have longed for a "typical" mother daughter relationship w/ my mom. It has just never happened. She has her own addiction issues as well as other mental illness. This has always been a BIG struggle for me to understand why I could not have that relationship that I hear about soo very often. Every time I would think about it my heart would really ache. I have KNOW for years that our relationship isn't a normal or healthy one but it wasn't until recently that I ACCEPTED it. I know that I cannot change her just like I cannot change the fact that no matter how much clean time I have I will always be an addict.
I just simply had to accept it.
Once I did everything started to change. It really brings me back to the serenity prayer (which I have not been saying much btw) When I get to the end where I need the wisdom to know the difference I use to fade out because I didn't really know how to have the wisdom to know the difference.
Now that I have been able to accept a few things that I know will not ever change, things seem to start making more sense and are much easier to handle.
I'm not really sure why I am posting this. Maybe it's because I feel like a light bulb was turned on in my head about this and I really wanted to share it with you guys. Regardless, it helps and you guys are a blessing to me!!
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