Sister's Kids
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 60
Sister's Kids
Hey Folks,
We have the kids yay! We went to a meeting with DCS and my sister and her boyfriend on Thursday and they voluntarily surrendered parental rights. We have what is essentially foster care of the children until the adjudication hearing at the end of the month, and then we have to do fostering for six months before we can finalize the adoption. Eleven hours of driving with three kids under the age of six was quite the adventure.
Unfortunately the situation that they came from was much more dire than what we had been told. The DCS worker felt that we needed to know the whole story complete with pictures of what the kids looked like when they took custody five months ago. I took my 18 yr old niece with me for this trip, and she almost fainted when we saw the pictures. It really affected her badly. The children were covered in bruises, and the two oldest boys ages 5 and 1.5 at that point were thin to the point of skeleton like. The youngest, who was 7 months old at the time had a thumb sized lesion on his head that was badly infected. I am appalled and saddened that we had no idea of what these kids were going through. Living so far away we just depended on Sis's phone calls etc. I am so happy that we have the kids now, and just pray that we can get them through this whole and happy. Apparently while Sis and her BF were high they also were promiscuous in front of the children, and the six year old talks about it. Sis is in a rehab program offered at the jail, but her BF states that although he has used meth since he was 14(!) he isn't addicted, and doesn't need a treatment program.
We've got a long road ahead of us, but I know that I can mother these boys, and love them more than what they've been loved.
We have the kids yay! We went to a meeting with DCS and my sister and her boyfriend on Thursday and they voluntarily surrendered parental rights. We have what is essentially foster care of the children until the adjudication hearing at the end of the month, and then we have to do fostering for six months before we can finalize the adoption. Eleven hours of driving with three kids under the age of six was quite the adventure.
Unfortunately the situation that they came from was much more dire than what we had been told. The DCS worker felt that we needed to know the whole story complete with pictures of what the kids looked like when they took custody five months ago. I took my 18 yr old niece with me for this trip, and she almost fainted when we saw the pictures. It really affected her badly. The children were covered in bruises, and the two oldest boys ages 5 and 1.5 at that point were thin to the point of skeleton like. The youngest, who was 7 months old at the time had a thumb sized lesion on his head that was badly infected. I am appalled and saddened that we had no idea of what these kids were going through. Living so far away we just depended on Sis's phone calls etc. I am so happy that we have the kids now, and just pray that we can get them through this whole and happy. Apparently while Sis and her BF were high they also were promiscuous in front of the children, and the six year old talks about it. Sis is in a rehab program offered at the jail, but her BF states that although he has used meth since he was 14(!) he isn't addicted, and doesn't need a treatment program.
We've got a long road ahead of us, but I know that I can mother these boys, and love them more than what they've been loved.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Thank goodness you got those children and my prayers go out for all of you and for your sister also.
It's the children who are the innocents in the hell of addiction and it's important that someone be their voice and protect them.
Bless you for taking them and God bless the child.
Hugs
It's the children who are the innocents in the hell of addiction and it's important that someone be their voice and protect them.
Bless you for taking them and God bless the child.
Hugs
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
((((Sunflowers))))))
I'm so glad you have those sweet kids. You are truly their guardian angel. God bless you. Your love and guidance will help them to overcome the rocky start of their lives. Prayers for you and the children and your sister that she may find recovery and a better way. Hugs
I'm so glad you have those sweet kids. You are truly their guardian angel. God bless you. Your love and guidance will help them to overcome the rocky start of their lives. Prayers for you and the children and your sister that she may find recovery and a better way. Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
Sunflowers,
Congrats, It is heart breaking to read what them babies have been through, I am so glad that you have them and they are going to get the help and love they need. I hope you have a wonderful support group, it is going to be quite an adjustment, but It sounds like you have enough love to make it work. (((hugs)))
Congrats, It is heart breaking to read what them babies have been through, I am so glad that you have them and they are going to get the help and love they need. I hope you have a wonderful support group, it is going to be quite an adjustment, but It sounds like you have enough love to make it work. (((hugs)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 60
We've started settling in. The boys are busy like only toddlers and little kids can be. The eldest (6 yr) came in this morning after breakfast, and wrapped his arms around me and said "I love you Mom!" It just made my heart melt. We told him that he could call me Aunt , or Mom... but he couldn't call me Jack. He thought that was hilarious and decided to call me Mom. Matter of fact he Mom'd me to death yesterday!
I talked to my sister on the phone yesterday, and she got to talk to the eldest boy. She tried telling me that she hadn't hurt her children. I explained that DCS didn't doctor pictures just to make her look bad. I told her that I didn't doubt that she loved her children, because she couldn't have surrendered her parental rights without loving them, but that I thought that the drugs had messed her up so badly that she didn't know WHAT she was doing to those children. She agreed, and said that she didn't think she was that messed up when she went into jail, but that she knew now that she really needed help. She's already in a program in the jail, and she said once she gets out she is going to try to go into a rehab center. I told her that's what I wanted to hear.
*sighs* It hurts to have to tell her these things, but she needs to know them. The boys are beautiful and so full of life. We are so blessed to have them in our lives. I miss getting to sleep in now and again, but the trade off is worth it!
I talked to my sister on the phone yesterday, and she got to talk to the eldest boy. She tried telling me that she hadn't hurt her children. I explained that DCS didn't doctor pictures just to make her look bad. I told her that I didn't doubt that she loved her children, because she couldn't have surrendered her parental rights without loving them, but that I thought that the drugs had messed her up so badly that she didn't know WHAT she was doing to those children. She agreed, and said that she didn't think she was that messed up when she went into jail, but that she knew now that she really needed help. She's already in a program in the jail, and she said once she gets out she is going to try to go into a rehab center. I told her that's what I wanted to hear.
*sighs* It hurts to have to tell her these things, but she needs to know them. The boys are beautiful and so full of life. We are so blessed to have them in our lives. I miss getting to sleep in now and again, but the trade off is worth it!
My husband is an addict
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 28
Just reading this brings tears to my eyes, what an amazing person you are for rescuing those 3 children, my goodness, this really puts things into perspective for me. I was the product of parents who gave me up for addiction at age 7 and I am so thankful that I had my Aunt and Uncle (now my Mom and Dad) to step in and take me out of a bad situation and I would do it in a heart beat. My husband is currently in rehab for opiate addiction and I pray that he will see how important it is to get his act together so he can be an active part of our sons life.
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