notwholeyet

I've been NC with the now ex Abf for 3 weeks. I feel so lonely. I miss him. We were together for 4 years. I was a huge enabler for awhile with the beer and eventually the drugs and then back to the beer. I just couldn't take it anymore. I stopped lending him money months and months ago. I saw him less. Then he'd come back and spend more time with me again and then less. He was always half in the bag if not completely. It just ripped my heart out to see him like that. We've been no contact before for a week or two at a time, but he always ends up showing up. Not this time. I'm worried. I know just before NC he had an MRI for a suspected tumour or aneurysm. I feel guilty because I ended it again. I just can't take it anymore. I've told him a dozen times that the drinking was ruining our relationship. Twice he said he stopped. Ah right! It was good for a week, if that. Did I do the right thing by leaving him??? Should I give him any more chances if he shows up again??? I just don't know anymore.

Barbara52

If you would contact him, what would have changed? Do you think he is a new person after 3 weeks? even if he has begun to seek sobriety, he wouldn't be there yet. What would you get out of contacting him again, assuming nothing has changed, other than more pain?

Stay strong for yourself! You can do this. You can let him be his own adult self, responsible for himself, while you seek to heal yourself.

sailorjohn

The Pain Stops: when you forgive them for their faults and forgive yourself for staying so long. When you know that you tried harder than you ever tried before, and you know in your heart that love should not be so much work.

Yeah, you really did the right thing. Hope this helps.

kj3880

You did the right thing. Good for you!

KJ