eeerooo

What am i supposed to think? That they are concerned about my health or are they just pissed because I drank the last beer.?????

I want to stop. I don't want to be in this humiliating position.

Bamboozle

Hey, eeerooo.


Can you get away from them? I get away from negative people whenever I can. It is easier for me to stay sober when I do this.

I hope you can stop soon.

eeerooo

Its worse than negative people. Its the only HP that comes into my life: S

Fubarcdn

We are all pulling for you Erica. Keep trying. You will make it.:ghug

flutter

This might be a silly question, but I have a hard time keeping up with everyone... Are you still actively drinking??

eeerooo

Yes, I am still drinking. I can't stop because of the physical withdrawl symptoms. I've just relocated and I spend alot of time in an empty house by myself. So, the thoughts just go round and round when I don't drink. To tell you the truth, I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. Wake up? To what? I don't have my dogs with me and they are the only ones who would never call me a drunk even if I know that is what I am.

Thanks for answering me, flutter. Don't stop writing me just because I can't stop right know. I'm just new to the area and feel very isolated. Need to find AA in the area. Hope the HP takes me under his wing. I'm not a bad person once you get to know me better.

God bless

Bamboozle

Can you go to a hospital to detox?

flutter

I posted on your other thread w/ a suicide hotline, as you mentioned suicide several times.

I wasn't asking cuz I don't want to talk to you, I was just curious so that I wouldn't speak out of hand about anything. I hope you get some help tonight.

I know you relocated, etc.. 911 still works.

Horselover

Hi eeerooo. Sorry to hear things are so bad for you now. I know the isolation factor and I also know drinking while isolated really intensified my negative emotions. I would become paranoid and angry and lots of other things. I had to first stop drinking before I could get my eyes open to all there was that my HP/God had to offer and all I had to offer to others. I finally kicked my butt out of the house and started volunteering at a local rescue ranch for abused and neglected horses. Boy did that change my perception on a lot of things. I thought I can be so much more if I can stay sober and then I thought about how to keep myself on that road. I was led to SR and to sober people in my life and it went from there.

You can do it hon, but you first have to stop drinking. If you've got terrible withdrawals then you need a doctor's supervision.

"I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up." This is a call for help and this is the second time in 2 nights I have seen this type of thinking. Alcohol is a depressant and it certainly isn't helping you with these thoughts.

You have to take the first step and stop drinking.

tellus

You can do it, hon. Try not drinking just for an hour. Easy, right? Then after that, just another hour. Breaking it down into smaller increments of time made it less daunting for me.

I do identify with this. Guess I thought everyone felt like that, to some degree.

Hevyn

Don't give up on yourself, Erica. I know you have the will to live or you wouldn't even be here. No matter how horrible things are, they will get better when you get the poison out of your system and give yourself a chance to really live.

BKP

It sometimes feels impossible and at times a struggle with your mind and your body. Try to branch away from this, do something that requires you not to drink, go for a drive commit to something where you can not drink. It is not easy it never is but it is not impossible.

mle-sober

In my home AA group, calling one another "drunks" is a sign of affection. I swear! As in, "Oh keep talking, you big drunk." or (lovingly) "We're both just drunks when you get right down to it."

I own my drunkeness now. I'm not ashamed of it or frightened by it.

You sound like you are struggling so much. I feel for you. I imagine, during these early days before sobriety, during that anxious, yearning need to find a path to recovery, the word "drunk" doesn't hold much pleasures.

I agree with others here who are concerned about your isolation and your feelings of wanting to not wake up. I think you need medical care. I really do. And then, things will get better. Truly. Can you go to the ER or to your DR???

We're here and and we care.

lovinmenow

Hey girl,
I just posted a message to you on Leasts thread "thank you all." I have been thinking about both of you and hope you will be ok. I was so afraid to go to the doc about my problem but once I got in there I got meds to keep me from withdrawals and to stop cravings. Yes there are many meds out there to keep cravings away and they work for me. I know I am not supposed to give medical advice but I will tell you what worked for me and also to see the doc asap. You would be so surprized at how it will change your perspective on things. After the docs office I really felt hope for the first time. Now clean and sober i feel great! I know you miss your dogs. I must admitt I have two of them and now I can walk them in the morning without puking in the bushes at 6am. One hand on my stomach and the other on the leashes!! Get some help girl, you can do it.

Here is a puppy picture to help you feel better.

Thats one of my labradoodles when he was a puppy. The next one is him right now.

Big hugs. Keep me posted!

Dee74

Erica

I haven't followed your story so far - but I do know that no-one is hopeless.
You've had some excellent advice here - you can move forward, there is a future for you - but you must stop drinking.

Drinking puts us in a holding pattern - it's like a needle in a record groove - each pass around, the groove gets deeper.

Read this thread - use the ideas - and do something.

We're here to support you
D

nelco

There is your answer.....your already thinking the right way. I remember not wanting to wake up too....but believe me im glad I did. I am fully awake now and love life. Other people dont matter, they probably have issues with their own drinking. When I was active, I loved nothing more than finding someone I thought was worse....made my drinking look a little less.
You are not alone here, most alcoholics felt just like you do. take care X

CarolD

Please pick up your phone and find the number for AA.
It's ok to call even if your drinking.

...AA specializes in drinking problems and solutions.

Yes! you too can quit...

Iriss

It always amazes me how some people who have never even addressed their own drinking habits can call someone a drunk or an alcoholic.... These are just words and labels, these people maybe drunks or alcoholics, but who cares for that matter, what is important right now is you... You are not your addiction, inside of you is that person who you want to be, sometimes society can beat us down regarding how hard addiction is to break, and whilst I am not underestimating its power to pull us where each and everyone of us in SR has been, that person in you can break out from this addiction. Once you see addiction for what it really is and how is cons and steals from you giving nothing back to us in return you will find the will to fight it... I wish you peace and I hope you find some clarity soon x x I hope I hear from you again soon x x