I'm really struggling today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
I'm really struggling today
aaaaaaaaaargh!
I was working last night when the rent office phoned me to ask where the rent is. I said my flat mate was going to pay it. They then told me he didn't pay last months either.
I am meant to be moving in 3 wks. I've posted before, im going to visit family for 2 wks on saturday. This is already stressful for me with not drinking.
Now i have to move my stuff into storage before i go because im not sure if i will be able to get into the flat when i get back.
I think my flatmate is planning on doing a runner and if/when he does im the only one they can contact, plus the gas/electric bills are due in. I know im going to end up all in about 1500 in debt (pound sign dont work).
I really want a drink. I dont know if i can handle this.
Im so angry. I want to cry. I dont deal well with my own emotions at the best of time.This is pushing me to my limits.
I went to a meeting this morning, but it is not helping now.
I just want to crawl back inside a pint or can.
Sorry im doing anything to stop me..... I just dont know if i can?
I was working last night when the rent office phoned me to ask where the rent is. I said my flat mate was going to pay it. They then told me he didn't pay last months either.
I am meant to be moving in 3 wks. I've posted before, im going to visit family for 2 wks on saturday. This is already stressful for me with not drinking.
Now i have to move my stuff into storage before i go because im not sure if i will be able to get into the flat when i get back.
I think my flatmate is planning on doing a runner and if/when he does im the only one they can contact, plus the gas/electric bills are due in. I know im going to end up all in about 1500 in debt (pound sign dont work).
I really want a drink. I dont know if i can handle this.
Im so angry. I want to cry. I dont deal well with my own emotions at the best of time.This is pushing me to my limits.
I went to a meeting this morning, but it is not helping now.
I just want to crawl back inside a pint or can.
Sorry im doing anything to stop me..... I just dont know if i can?
Too far from the beach
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
Louis,
Don't do it. You need to be straight for what is ahead. Just because you can't make your rent does not mean you should drink. Try and separate the two!!! Instead of making the effort to drink, make an effort to try and deal with this. Stay focused on being straight. I know you don't want to spend the whole day wasted cause you will only feel like crap later and still have to pay rent!!
Stay on the board. We are all here to help you.
Don't do it. You need to be straight for what is ahead. Just because you can't make your rent does not mean you should drink. Try and separate the two!!! Instead of making the effort to drink, make an effort to try and deal with this. Stay focused on being straight. I know you don't want to spend the whole day wasted cause you will only feel like crap later and still have to pay rent!!
Stay on the board. We are all here to help you.
perpetual optimist
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 2,959
You can do it Louis.......drinking is not going to solve the issues in front of you. Take them one at a time.......can you get a hold of your flatmmate? (it feels weird not saying roommate 
)........do you have a sponsor or someone else you can talk to? Can you go to another meeting?? Go ahead and scream, and then start making a plan........try not to let this run away from you. In the grand scheme of things......this is all just "stuff." You are way more important than these things........!!! Keep on posting, get it all out.....then make a plan. We are here for you!!!!!!!!!:ghug2
)........do you have a sponsor or someone else you can talk to? Can you go to another meeting?? Go ahead and scream, and then start making a plan........try not to let this run away from you. In the grand scheme of things......this is all just "stuff." You are way more important than these things........!!! Keep on posting, get it all out.....then make a plan. We are here for you!!!!!!!!!:ghug2
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
You don't need a drink Louis. As a matter of fact that is probably the thing you need the least. If you did drink all you would do is get depressed and angrier and spend the whole time feeling sorry for yourself. Remember how feeling sorry for yourself sucks.
Think positive. Try to talk to your roommate and collect from him.
Let him know that he is stiffing you and not the landlord. If he has any sense of decency he will make good and if not at least you have learned to be more careful who you trust. It may turn out to be an expensive lesson but drinking will only make it worse.
Think positive. Try to talk to your roommate and collect from him.
Let him know that he is stiffing you and not the landlord. If he has any sense of decency he will make good and if not at least you have learned to be more careful who you trust. It may turn out to be an expensive lesson but drinking will only make it worse.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
Thank you
I got home from work a couple of hours ago and my flatmate was in bed... he has spent the money i gave him for my share of the rent and i dont have it to pay again. He said he has tried to get a loan on the computer and he is waiting for a response back...
How can he be waiting.... he was in bed asleep. I told him to get up to the rent office and speak to them... He's disappeared.
My mate has said i can store my stuff in their garage while im away and i really really appreciate that cos that sorts one thing but it has to be tomorrow. I cant get any boxes til tomorrow morning.
I dont have a sponsor ive only just started AA. There are no other meetings.
I also self harm (im not sure if im allowed to say that here so appologise if i offend anyone or break the rules). Without alcohol this seems the only option left to me to contol myself.
Sorry i dont know what im saying.... I just feel lost.
How could he do this?
I got home from work a couple of hours ago and my flatmate was in bed... he has spent the money i gave him for my share of the rent and i dont have it to pay again. He said he has tried to get a loan on the computer and he is waiting for a response back...
How can he be waiting.... he was in bed asleep. I told him to get up to the rent office and speak to them... He's disappeared.
My mate has said i can store my stuff in their garage while im away and i really really appreciate that cos that sorts one thing but it has to be tomorrow. I cant get any boxes til tomorrow morning.
I dont have a sponsor ive only just started AA. There are no other meetings.
I also self harm (im not sure if im allowed to say that here so appologise if i offend anyone or break the rules). Without alcohol this seems the only option left to me to contol myself.
Sorry i dont know what im saying.... I just feel lost.
How could he do this?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 112
You can't control what anyone else does, louis.
You can control what you do. I agree with those that have said drinking is surely not going to make this better. Stay strong. Have a cup of tea, listen to some music you enjoy, take a walk to calm yourself. Anything but picking up something to drink.
We're here.
You can control what you do. I agree with those that have said drinking is surely not going to make this better. Stay strong. Have a cup of tea, listen to some music you enjoy, take a walk to calm yourself. Anything but picking up something to drink.
We're here.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
This may be out of line and is just a suggestion.
Can you take his computer as collateral on the money that he owes? That way if he doesn't pay you back at least you have the computer and whatever else he has that is worth anything for that matter that you may be able to sell and salvage something. May be worth a try as it doesn't sound like this guy can be trusted.
Can you take his computer as collateral on the money that he owes? That way if he doesn't pay you back at least you have the computer and whatever else he has that is worth anything for that matter that you may be able to sell and salvage something. May be worth a try as it doesn't sound like this guy can be trusted.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
It not out of line.. I just cant do that.. Its not me.
When i stopped drinking i planned to move to get out of the situation i put myself in (pubs).
I should have told the landlords i was going to be moving out then (before xmas) but they said ithey didnt know if my flatmate would be able to stay on himeslf so i didnt say anything.
Now i will have to pay the next 2 months rent too.
My mate says im too nice for my own good.
I just dont like making things hard for others.
Yeah this is gonna be one hell of an expensive lesson.
When i stopped drinking i planned to move to get out of the situation i put myself in (pubs).
I should have told the landlords i was going to be moving out then (before xmas) but they said ithey didnt know if my flatmate would be able to stay on himeslf so i didnt say anything.
Now i will have to pay the next 2 months rent too.
My mate says im too nice for my own good.
I just dont like making things hard for others.
Yeah this is gonna be one hell of an expensive lesson.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 112
I just dont like making things hard for others.
I believe this to be true.
Please don't make it hard for you either. I know without a doubt that while drinking I am unable/unwilling to healthily cope with problems.
My sobriety is new. But I also know to cope healthily, effectively, and responsibly with issues that confront me in my daily life I need to be sober.
Hang in there.
I believe this to be true.
Please don't make it hard for you either. I know without a doubt that while drinking I am unable/unwilling to healthily cope with problems.
My sobriety is new. But I also know to cope healthily, effectively, and responsibly with issues that confront me in my daily life I need to be sober.
Hang in there.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
You are too nice which is a good character trait to have in a way.
Maybe if you explain the situation to the landlord they will settle for less. Never hurts to ask.
He is trying to get a loan on the computer anyways so if you tell him you will be a nice guy and give him that loan on his computer and hold it until he pays you back. That is what a nice guy would do.
Maybe if you explain the situation to the landlord they will settle for less. Never hurts to ask.
He is trying to get a loan on the computer anyways so if you tell him you will be a nice guy and give him that loan on his computer and hold it until he pays you back. That is what a nice guy would do.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
If your flatmate cannot be trusted with your money, how can you trust him with your stuff?
Talk to the rental office and let them know what has happened. They will likely work with you if you can show some progress and a plan to pay it back.
In the US, they cannot just kick you out because you are late on rent, they have to evict you, a process that takes 60-120 days. Doesn't it work the same way there?
Talk to the rental office and let them know what has happened. They will likely work with you if you can show some progress and a plan to pay it back.
In the US, they cannot just kick you out because you are late on rent, they have to evict you, a process that takes 60-120 days. Doesn't it work the same way there?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
I just dont like making things hard for others.
Yeah this is gonna be one hell of an expensive lesson.
Yeah this is gonna be one hell of an expensive lesson.
well one good thing is that it doesn't sound like you will have an ammend to make over your flatmate.
but now the financial part sets in. that would be a tough one for me to deal with as well. I'm not sure what to say about that part, except that what has been said above seems helpful
and it's an awsome thing that you have in your heart that can be so kind
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
Thank you.
My heads alittle better now. Im still pretty angry tho. My flatmate came home just after the rent office closed (i cant check) and said he'd told them he'll sort it by the end of the week. He won't, i know him. He packed a bag and left. Don't know when if he will be back before i leave on thursday.
I went and packed my bags, well black bags full of clothes again. At least ive got my stuff. I need to be grateful for that.
While moving my stuff i moved my money box. There wasn't much in it thankfully, he's raided that too.
I haven't drank tho. I still want to but not as much as earlier, so again thank you.
dgillz: It's a friend im leaving my stuff with not my flatmate.... That's why im moving earlier than expected. I cant trust i will get in to flat when i get back from my holiday.
I don't know what the laws are here but i need out... I cant stay with him after this. I've given him chance after chance with things in the 3yrs we've shared flats and enough is enough. I cant do it anymore. My head cant cope with this in the place it is just now.
Thanks again
Be well
Louis
My heads alittle better now. Im still pretty angry tho. My flatmate came home just after the rent office closed (i cant check) and said he'd told them he'll sort it by the end of the week. He won't, i know him. He packed a bag and left. Don't know when if he will be back before i leave on thursday.
I went and packed my bags, well black bags full of clothes again. At least ive got my stuff. I need to be grateful for that.
While moving my stuff i moved my money box. There wasn't much in it thankfully, he's raided that too.
I haven't drank tho. I still want to but not as much as earlier, so again thank you.
dgillz: It's a friend im leaving my stuff with not my flatmate.... That's why im moving earlier than expected. I cant trust i will get in to flat when i get back from my holiday.
I don't know what the laws are here but i need out... I cant stay with him after this. I've given him chance after chance with things in the 3yrs we've shared flats and enough is enough. I cant do it anymore. My head cant cope with this in the place it is just now.
Thanks again
Be well
Louis
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm glad you're sorting it out and that you didn't drink Louis.
You sound like a nice guy but I hope you stand your ground and get what you're owed from this guy...eventually. Sounds like you're well out of it tho in any case
D
You sound like a nice guy but I hope you stand your ground and get what you're owed from this guy...eventually. Sounds like you're well out of it tho in any case
D
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
It is too bad that nice guys are taken advantage of. It has happened to me more times than I care to admit.
The important thing in the long run is how you handle it and you are doing a great lob.
Be proud of yourself and move on. Better days will come soon.
The important thing in the long run is how you handle it and you are doing a great lob.
Be proud of yourself and move on. Better days will come soon.
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