xxkeelingxx

I admitted to my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago, and I still admit it today, that I am an alcoholic. We have been dating for 4 years now. We met not to long after my discharge from the Marine Corps. She is a very strong person to put up with me for as long as she has. She was diagnosed with Diabetes type 1 just before we met. When we first started dating we enjoyed each others company, but I would have these horrendous outbursts especially when I was intoxicated. I'm not a doctor or anything but I believe that the outbursts were due to the fact of what I saw, and what I went through while in the Corps. I would yell to the top of my lungs to get a point across, just as if I were a D.I. yelling at a recruit. Sometimes I would even find myself counting down "you got 10, 9, 8 7...and so on. Now if I would have been in her shoes at the time, I would have said, "See ya psycho." About 2 years of this go by and she sticks it out, gotta love her whew. Anyway, I soon realize that what I am doing is wrong, and I find it within myself to calm down, hardly anymore yelling. Now it's been 4 years but I still drink too much. Need more space sorry. I'll finish on the reply.

xxkeelingxx

Anyway, so I finally told her 2 weeks ago, "that's it I am quitting all together. Now mind you I have pulled this one before, but I feel different about it this time. I actually know within my heat that I want to quit. I absolutely hate the feeling of being drunk anymore, the beginning, middle, and after effects. I hate that I love alcohol. I am doing this all on my own, no doctors, no AA, and no meds. Just you guys, so I thank you all for helping me and everyone else here, because we all know we need it. The reason I'm going at this alone, and with no doctors or meds, is because I have no insurance I sort of have to go about it this way. We are kinda struggling right now in this economy, but who isn't. I am on unemployment, and she attends college full time. We manage to get by though. I have to admit though that I have had episodes of anxiety, which bothers the hell outta me. The one thing that scares the most about alcoholism is the Wernike-Korsakoff syndrome.

That is my admission to you all. Thanks guys. And the journey begins. God bless.