GrayDawg

I stumbled onto SR today and it looks like a great, supportive place to be.

My fiance entered detox on 1/13...was released on 1/16...and started drinking again on 1/17. He's already lied about buying alcohol...and he's even already resorted to hiding it from me. I'm left wondering why he even went into the detox program in the first place...I'm sad...I'm angry....I'm confused.

He says he is going to "control" it now that he has "shaken the dependancy of the vodka and Xanax...And just drink a few beers or glasses of wine on the weekends. He says he feels the alcohol problem was intensified by the
7+ years of taking a doctor prescribed Xanax every morning. And he wants to see if he can drink in moderation now that the Xanax is not a factor. I'm just floored by his thought process. He tells me I'm overreacting.

He doesn't want sex anymore, he's already hiding beer in the house, he's lying, he doesn't seem to have even "tried" since he left detox, he won't go to any meetings...and I'm left wondering where I fit into all of this?

I want to be supportive, but all I can feel right now is resentment and sadness.

Well, that's it in a nutshell. Hope to find some ideas or thoughts here on how to deal with all of this.

grateful2b

Hi Grey Dawg!
Welcome to SR
I am glad you found us
you might want to try our Friends and Family of Alcoholics Forum ..lots of wonderful people in your spot with some great support to offer.

here is the link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/

ToABetterMe

Oh I'm so sorry. Let me just say any alcoholic will say "I only had a few" or a couple. Its the standard answer. And if can already tell he's hiding it, he's hiding more. i believe the average # of hiding spots is 10. Hell I just found one under my sink that I forgot about. & I bet there are some in the closet, & bags around here. I just haven't sought them out yet.

I can't speak for him, but I can say for me I couldn't "control" it. And trust me if he's hiding it, I don't think that is CONTROL!

I am so sorry for you & I hope there are some people on here that have some great advise for you & how to handle this.

Will keep you both in my prayers!

masseyman

Hi graydawg. I'm a drinker. I'm new here too since last week. Sounds like your in a tough spot. I've been where your bo is. My wife was very patient with me and I have made a decision to quit booze, I'm almost 7 days in.

I'm sure you can find others on this forum that are dealing with the same.

Welcome, it's a good place to be.

God bless.

GrayDawg

Thank you all very much. Sorry if I posted in the wrong area

grateful2b

not at all, Grey Dawg, you are welcome to post in newcomers . I suggested the other forum as well because it is full of people who live with or whose lives are affected by an alcoholic in active addiction..hugs

Hevyn

Hi Grey Dawg. My (first) husband did the same exact thing. He was allowed to go to rehab 3 times and his company would pay for it. After that, he was on his own. Anyways, I was waiting for this whole new person to emerge out of rehab, and when I mentioned about our new life of no drinking, he said, "Oh, if I want to have a beer once in awhile, I will." My heart fell to my feet. He never got well, just couldn't see the light. I'm not saying that's what will happen to you - but as others will tell you, take care of yourself and get support for what you're going through. Sending love to you.

Aysha