i need to be reminded
~miss nikky~
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: windsor gardens, south australia, australia
Posts: 1,984
i need to be reminded
im struggling to see the point of doin this anymore
my family couldnt give a *** about mdee quite frankly
im sick of being clean
im sick of this rollercoaster
im sick of never having enough money STILL
im sick of feeling
im sick of bludging brats
im sick of being taken for granted
i want some relief
why am i doing this??????????????????????
my family couldnt give a *** about mdee quite frankly
im sick of being clean
im sick of this rollercoaster
im sick of never having enough money STILL
im sick of feeling
im sick of bludging brats
im sick of being taken for granted
i want some relief
why am i doing this??????????????????????
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I think you are doing it because although the last few days have been very hard....if you look at your posts over the last months...you will see that you have truley been happy (hug)
Don't forget that hon....it isn't always like this....call numbers..post...come to chat for the meeting....just hang tight cause the best is yet to come.
Don't forget that hon....it isn't always like this....call numbers..post...come to chat for the meeting....just hang tight cause the best is yet to come.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
you can never control others Nix - not even by using.
You're doing this for YOU. So...keep doing it.
If your family is aggravating you that much, maybe you do have to make some ultimatums?
Keep posting ok?
D
You're doing this for YOU. So...keep doing it.
If your family is aggravating you that much, maybe you do have to make some ultimatums?
Keep posting ok?
D
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Go sing your little heart out Nicki. Do you play the drums? Go pound on them! What kind of release would make Nicki happy that's non-destructive to Nicki? Do it!! Do it again! Then when you've filled your cup and you have some that is overflowing go back to the situation. Make Nicki happy! We love you! 
Those are for you.
Those are for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Hey sweetie hang in there! I learned that there is nothing so awful that a drink (or a substance) won't make worse.
You've listed the negatives in your post. Has anything good happened to you since you got clean/sober? Can you list those out too and maybe do a comparison and see if you don't think you are better off sober.
We are not promised all good times in sobriety but we are offered tools to help us through crappy times without us having to pick up a substance that wants to kill us. Pick up those tools sweetie. Call or write people, go somewhere and scream (preferably someplace private so the cops don't think a murder is in progress LOL!), excercise or do some kind of activity that you love for YOU. Take care of just YOU for a little bit.
Finally I don't know if you do AA or NA but the saying that "this too shall pass" used to P*ss me off but it is so true. So try to just step back from whatever it is that has you so upset and be kind to yourself and if you pray then pray for the WILLINGNESS to stay sober in SPITE of the chaos going on around you.
Love you sweetie and hope to see a post saying you are ok,
Kellye
You've listed the negatives in your post. Has anything good happened to you since you got clean/sober? Can you list those out too and maybe do a comparison and see if you don't think you are better off sober.
We are not promised all good times in sobriety but we are offered tools to help us through crappy times without us having to pick up a substance that wants to kill us. Pick up those tools sweetie. Call or write people, go somewhere and scream (preferably someplace private so the cops don't think a murder is in progress LOL!), excercise or do some kind of activity that you love for YOU. Take care of just YOU for a little bit.
Finally I don't know if you do AA or NA but the saying that "this too shall pass" used to P*ss me off but it is so true. So try to just step back from whatever it is that has you so upset and be kind to yourself and if you pray then pray for the WILLINGNESS to stay sober in SPITE of the chaos going on around you.
Love you sweetie and hope to see a post saying you are ok,
Kellye
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Nikki.....when I was at one of my lowest points recently it was one of your posts that touched me the most.
So even if it sounds selfish-you can't give up because we all need you here.We do.I love clean you!You touch so many people and really are 'all about the love' Maybe it's time to give some of that love to yourself too hun? Make some boundaries and do something nice for you.
You don't need to go back to hell.You've been there too many times.
Don't let your addict voice rob you of all you have achieved so far.You are worth staying clean for.Please don't give up-I promise you there is NOTHING back there that will help you or make you feel better.Nothing.
Sending you my love and support,
Julesxox
So even if it sounds selfish-you can't give up because we all need you here.We do.I love clean you!You touch so many people and really are 'all about the love' Maybe it's time to give some of that love to yourself too hun? Make some boundaries and do something nice for you.
You don't need to go back to hell.You've been there too many times.
Don't let your addict voice rob you of all you have achieved so far.You are worth staying clean for.Please don't give up-I promise you there is NOTHING back there that will help you or make you feel better.Nothing.
Sending you my love and support,
Julesxox
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I can tell you a million and one reasons why your doing this.
And first on the list is YOU! Noone else. YOU!
I have seen a complete change in you in so many ways it isnt even funny.
If you need proof. Just look at the posts when you first came here. Then look at the ones as you started to change. And then the ones now.
Completely different attitude, outlook , thinking, behavior, person.
You have some really huge changes.
You are so supportive now. And not afraid to show your feelings now.
I dont see that rage I saw when you first came here.
You have done some big things. Dont give up now.
We all have bad days. Sometimes weeks. But its all a part of life. Your still going to have those same bad days even if you pick up. Might as well not add to the pile of BS by using.
You will be ok. I dont think I have seen anyone transform in the way you have.
Hold onto that.
Forget all that outside influence. You can not control others. But you can control how you let it effect you.
Just relax. And hang in there.
And first on the list is YOU! Noone else. YOU!
I have seen a complete change in you in so many ways it isnt even funny.
If you need proof. Just look at the posts when you first came here. Then look at the ones as you started to change. And then the ones now.
Completely different attitude, outlook , thinking, behavior, person.
You have some really huge changes.
You are so supportive now. And not afraid to show your feelings now.
I dont see that rage I saw when you first came here.
You have done some big things. Dont give up now.
We all have bad days. Sometimes weeks. But its all a part of life. Your still going to have those same bad days even if you pick up. Might as well not add to the pile of BS by using.
You will be ok. I dont think I have seen anyone transform in the way you have.
Hold onto that.
Forget all that outside influence. You can not control others. But you can control how you let it effect you.
Just relax. And hang in there.
~miss nikky~
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: windsor gardens, south australia, australia
Posts: 1,984
just a quick check in to let you all know im not giving in or up just yet
i am though extremely tired now
though the swim @ the gorge an the action i took earlier has proved to see me revitilised and relief has come.
will post tomorrow how i made it through this god awfull day & stayed clean
thankyou all for your messages of hope & faith
CHIY...wow i really didnt think you took any notice of me nowdays
you are a good one ya know
& jules...i love you so much
& DEE & rust & stone too
please dont take it personal anyone i havnt mentioned by name you must know i adore you all im just sooooooo drained
tomorrow i be back
will fill you alll in then
xxxxxxxxxx
i am though extremely tired now
though the swim @ the gorge an the action i took earlier has proved to see me revitilised and relief has come.
will post tomorrow how i made it through this god awfull day & stayed clean
thankyou all for your messages of hope & faith
CHIY...wow i really didnt think you took any notice of me nowdays
you are a good one ya know
& jules...i love you so much
& DEE & rust & stone too
please dont take it personal anyone i havnt mentioned by name you must know i adore you all im just sooooooo drained
tomorrow i be back
will fill you alll in then
xxxxxxxxxx
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