Checking in with HOPE!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: San Diego, Ca.
Posts: 2
Checking in with HOPE!
Hello good people! New guy here. I'm on day 46 and felling blessed to have finally made a commitment to myself to live sober rather than die drunk.
I'm a 57 year old male who spent 37 years addicted to pot, coke and finally alcohol. I managed to quit the first two without too much trouble, but the booze really had me by the balls. I just couldn't quit it on my own. I went to a bunch of AA meetings over the past few years then headed directly to the liquor store afterward. I really didn't think AA was for me until I realized that it wasn't a magic bullet... that I would have to first care enough about myself to take care of myself, and that I would have to change my behavior for me and not for someone or something else. There was also the "religious" thing about AA that I could not accept. This changed for me when I realized that, no, I am not religious, but I am spiritual and I can believe and love a higher power of my choosing. Basically I made this whole concept much more difficult than it really is. So, today I am on step 3- Turning my life and my will over to the care of God as I understand Him...Her
... and finding this to be creating some ambivalence in me. I guess it is a control thing. I accept that I have little or no control over anything other than myself so giving that control over to God is a major paradigm shift. Yea, ok, again I may be making this more difficult than it really is.
Anyway, I have come to believe in the AA way and that %100 of alcoholics will stay sober if they work the program %100. For those who don't believe that AA is for them, and have given it a chance, I certainly understand. What is of most importance is to find something that works for you
.
I'm a 57 year old male who spent 37 years addicted to pot, coke and finally alcohol. I managed to quit the first two without too much trouble, but the booze really had me by the balls. I just couldn't quit it on my own. I went to a bunch of AA meetings over the past few years then headed directly to the liquor store afterward. I really didn't think AA was for me until I realized that it wasn't a magic bullet... that I would have to first care enough about myself to take care of myself, and that I would have to change my behavior for me and not for someone or something else. There was also the "religious" thing about AA that I could not accept. This changed for me when I realized that, no, I am not religious, but I am spiritual and I can believe and love a higher power of my choosing. Basically I made this whole concept much more difficult than it really is. So, today I am on step 3- Turning my life and my will over to the care of God as I understand Him...Her
... and finding this to be creating some ambivalence in me. I guess it is a control thing. I accept that I have little or no control over anything other than myself so giving that control over to God is a major paradigm shift. Yea, ok, again I may be making this more difficult than it really is.Anyway, I have come to believe in the AA way and that %100 of alcoholics will stay sober if they work the program %100. For those who don't believe that AA is for them, and have given it a chance, I certainly understand. What is of most importance is to find something that works for you
.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
Welcome xshooterx, I also abused many substances and alcohol was also the most difficult for me to quit. If you have any AA questions you can post them on the 12 step forum, there are a lot of very knowledgeable AA people there.
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