Rebecca4

I am 35 years old and have attended some AA meetings. Not many and was not sure, but learnt to keep an open mind.
I have had quite a short drinking career and for that I am glad.
I woke up on christmas day morning and I'm not sure why, but I felt that I had 'got it' - it all made sense and I understood. I feel grateful, humble and thankful.

However, I am having a problem that maybe one of you guys could help me with, all experience and advice is welcome!!.

I now know that I have got it, but I want others to have it. I feel really happy and I want others to feel this amazing feeling, but I feel that would be wrong of me. Just as they cannot tell me I have a problem, I cannot tell them they have a problem. I don't just mean with addiction but with their whole approach to life. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

I also feel a bit scared. Does this feeling go and then what will I feel like. I understand about the pink cloud.

I hope I have made sense.
Happy new year all
x

parentrecovers

hello rebecca,

i'm not an alcoholic, but i am the mom of one. so i think i can understand some of how you feel.

i attend alanon and we have what we call the 3 c's about addiction:

you didn't cause it.
you can't cure it.
you cannot control it.

and then there's a 4th c that says you have choices as to how you allow other people's disease affect your life.

i don't know if you intend to work the 12 steps or not, but that's really how i learned to let go of my daughter's problems and step back from them with compassion and love. it's not easy everyday, and i do slip back into my controlling ways, but i've found i can have a better relationship and really help her MORE if i live and let live. as long as she's not stepping over MY boundaries, i stay in a better place by also not stepping over hers.

just by staying sober, you offer a great deal of encourage, strength, and hope to those suffering around you. take pride in that, and allow others to find their own way.

you've had to do it on your own, remember. pray for others to have that same moment you had on christmas morning...

hugs, and i hope this is helpful to you. k

least

I agree: your sobriety is the best argument you can make to others. Just the act of you living sober and honestly is a powerful example. Words mean nothing compared to actions. So just being sober tells others a lot. Best wishes to you on staying sober this year.

JustJohn

I would suggest being an ambassador for sobriety by your actions and in the way you live your life each day, but avoid "preaching" sobriety.

It feels especially great to be sober, especially after realizing how much of life has been wasted in an alcohol fog and you just want to shout it out. Coming here and offering some kind, understanding words to someone who is hurting emotionally is good for you and lots of us here.

I wouldn't worry too much about the "Pink Cloud" thing. Just enjoy the wonderful feelings and share them at the appropriate times. No doubt, life will happen, problems will occur, and thoughts of all kinds will appear in your mind, so be on guard for the addictive voice, and replace the AV with the great feelings you are having now.

Rebecca4

Thanks guys for your wise words and if anyone else has anymore that would be good.
I think the ambassador role is an excellent idea, it really appeals to me.
I'm glad I finally got it.
But I do find it a bit tiring, if you know what I mean?
Like for years I have got annoyed with people if I say something and they do not understand. How rude is that of me? Now I know I have to bring myself down to other people and explain things better. I don't mean this in a condescending way, because there are lots of people far cleverer than me and they will do the same for me so I understand them.

Love
B
x

Anna

One the most important things I have learned in recovery, is that we are all in different places in this journey. And, we are all exactly where we are meant to be.

ANGELINA243

Being a living example of the program and sharing your own personal experience, strength, hope with others you come into contact with will indeed touch the lives of other people.

shaun00

rebecca hi and welcome...
I think its natural for you to want share with people about how you stopped and what life is like for you now...
I truly believe that i have to keep giving this away to keep it..
YOU can carry the message to the still suffering...."it can be done and i feel great"..is sometimes all newcomers needs to hear.
You have managed to achieve something that thousands of poor people cant.or wont..
Good for you girl.........go spread the word.
BUT and its important....
You can only support people that ask for it and you can only tell them "how it was for you" or your experience...
I still see to many well meaning alkies hitting new comers over the head with the big book and forcing their thoughts of god or higher power on the newcomer...........carry the message... not force it down people throats.
Thats my experience anyway.............

lisa t

hi rebecca...welcome...i agree with all above...the best you can do is live it...every day!! i am an aa'er and i have often said that many people i come across on a daily basis could use the program..alkie or not...but for now i choose to work my program, come here and stay sober and let the rest clean up their side of the street....mine is looking pretty darn good!!! best to you for a healthy, happy, sober new year!
Lisa

Rebecca4

That really hits the spot for me.
I remember the third AA meeting I went to, there was this fella who sat and vented at me for about half an hour and no-one stopped him. I envisage that he thought he was coming across as knowledgable but to me he was agressive, and I would hate anybody to feel like that because of me.
But I truly believe that what I have learnt, accepted and expereinced have not just helped me with booze and adictive behaviour but with life aswell.

I would just like to also say thanks to you all. It's a hard feeling to write down and explain but I will have a try.
I have heard so many shares and been given advice and some of the details of the events have been quite harrowing - car crashes, divorce, marriage breack ups etc. You all have my complete and utter respect for not only having to go through that, but being brave and honest enough to share it and stop me from falling any further.

Rusty Zipper

Rebe

just lead by example, and you will be amazed with the results...

be responsable for you...

cant get any simpler than that...

good wishes...

rz

shaun00

Rebecca...this is my take.....and bear in mind that i am a great believer in AA.

Sometimes the problem with AA is that it is full of alcoholics...lol....lol

And along with some of the alcoholics come the alcoholic ego....normally the size of a house..

Rather than gently encourage and listen, these few alcoholics will get on their pedestal they have built for themselves and rant and bully newcomers.

Purely for the benefit of stroking their own ego.

And guess what............out runs the newcomer to the nearest bar....

The newcomer is sick and they need gentle support and encouragement..imo
That way i believe the newcomer will want what YOU have.

I personally couldnt manage my life without the steps or meeting and most meetings i go to.........hit the spot.

We have a saying in my house...............softly..softly...catch the monkey.

Your gonna be great for the newcomer ..........stick to yours and AA principles of purpose...........Millions have benifited from just that.

Happy new year rebecca.................trucker.

CarolD

Good to see you here with us again...

Lots of solid information in "How it works" in our BB.

Kellye C

Hi Rebecca and welcome,

I'm glad you joined us and that you got the message on Christmas Day. What better gift is there?

It is totally understandable that you would want to pass it along to others still suffering but we must be careful.

The Big Book talks about this being a program of attraction not promotion. So by you staying sober and working the program and practicing the principles in all your affairs you are a walking testament to what the program has to offer thus attracting people to it. If you get aggressive with it then you might lose your chance to be helpful then or ever to an alcoholic.

You are right about this being a program that can be applied to more than just drinking. It is a design for living and I believe that many people, not just alcoholics, could find it useful in their daily lives.

I hope you will continue to share on here because as has been stated that is a wonderful way to help those that still suffer. It's also a great way to give and get support and ask questions.

Take care,
Kellye

inoishudbdead

i understand. i had the exact same feeling before i stopped and have been making an effort to change all of the things that i KNOW are not right for me in my life. its a great feeling. the only way i can describe it is, you know your living life the way you're suppose too, you see things clearly... dont know how well i described it, but i no what you mean anyways lol.

i found it doesn't go, it varies in intensity. at some points you may feel like that again, but generally you will feel better at most times than u did before.