daisyjen

I feel as if Ive been on a roller coaster ride lately. Ive been trying to keep everything cool for the holidays but it seems any little thing sets RAH off.

This past Sunday, RAH was out xmas shopping (!) all day and returned just as I was taking our son to the movies for his 1st date. RAH says "you are going NOW? Its kinda late, isnt it? Why didnt you go earlier?" All I said was The kids dont have school tomorrow!" He thought it was a nasty remark, and maybe there was a bit of sarcasm in it. Did it really matter what time I took them?? And it was only a 4:00 movie! Well, that did it! He starts ranting and raving how he was in a good mood after shopping and I ruined for him with the chip on my shoulder... Blah, blah, blah! Huh???

So, I go out to the car, and wait for our son. He comes out and says "Dad called you a effing "b" and said he's tired of your effing "s". This is our 13 yr old that heard it. Whatever! I take them to the movies and return hrs later. RAH tries hugging and kissing me and asks why I'm not responding to him. HELLO??? I mention what he called me and he says when did I say that?? I tell him and he says - get this - "but that was hrs ago!" As if!! I tell him a tiny sarcastic remark does not equal name calling/ cursing. He eventually apologizes but wants me to also apologize, which I do.

In our counseling session last Friday, the counselor was trying to get me to express my feelings by using the "I feel... when you...because... I want..." strategy. He makes me promise to use this at home. I chose something easy - his neglecting the over filled garbage can in the pantry. OMG! You'd have thought I gone for the carotid! The counselor then asked for me to choose another thing that frustrated me. I chose his lack of responsibility for things he should do on his own, like using his work computer. He's been with the same company for 7 yrs and still has trouble with it. Arrgh! He expects me to figure out where his schedule and things are in his computer, etc, and I think he's a big boy, he can do it on his own.

Well, he went off into a tyrant and every time the counselor tried to say something, he intervened. He said he's tired of my crap, I'm not appreciative of the things he does do, he wants to get on with his life cause I'm not changing after 6 months of therapy, this is a waste of time and money... He says he's finally done and means it. The counselor looks at me and says, I know now that you wont use the strategy Ive given you because Ive seen the response you'd get. He asks RAH if he wants to schedule the next apt or not. He says "Ask her!" I schedule, but honestly, I dont know why. I thought about walking out of the session, but I couldnt get my legs to move. The next day, he's all lovey dovey and wants to make it work... I want a peaceful Christmas for my sons, that's all.

Today, I must put on a show and go visit RAH sister and her A husband and kids. Lord, help me.

blessed4x

((((hugs)))).......it's 48 hours, 1 hour at a time.

Still Waters

Good grief.

Hang in there daisyjen. :ghug

denny57

I don't usually worry about the future (meaning tomorrow) but it sounds like he might be looking for a reason to drink and you're it.

I wonder what your son is learning about being a man?