HurtingDad

Three years ago was when we had an intervention in the house where my son admitted his heroin/drug habit.

It's been quite a ride, with both ups and downs.

We were so naive but now I know much more than I ever wanted to know about drugs, addicts and codependency.

I'm a member of a club I never wanted to belong to.

My life has been permanently changed.

Expectations for my son have been erased, replaced by ones that only he can obtain.

But...I am learning:
I need to have my own life.
That it's OK to "Let go".
That the pain does subside.
That it's OK to have a bad day.

And I've learned so much from the good friends on this forum.

Thanks to all. May we all continue in our progress and may the progress of our addicts continue.

Prayers and Positive Energy to all. :ghug2

GwenMarie30

What a beautiful promise of hope that your post has inspired for me today. That you for this. Such simplicity with huge meaning. You have certainly come such a long way in such a short time. I believe you have learned this lesson very fast that others still struggle with after years of becoming part of this club. Expectations are only hopes that are waiting to be wasted and destroyed. Just live in the moment of today with a simple prayer that you and thse you love make it thru another day with the simple lifes treasures.:ghug3

jerect

((((((HurtingDad)))))

I understand exactly where you are coming from..

New Years Eve will mark the one year anniversery of me finding the bag of lorecets that my AH had stashed in what he hoped to be his secret hiding place.. What I had suspected for months was finally rearing it's ugly head.

Like you, I now belong to a club I never wanted to join but here I am and now it's up to me to decide what kind of member I'm going to be..

This last year as been one of addiction hell for both me and my husband.. I now know more about drugs and the heartache it caused then I ever thought I would know in a lifetime..

Out of this whole mess though i have also found some unexpected blessings..
I found SR and it has helped me on my path to recovery

I discoverd Alanon and the 12 step program... what a life saver that has been

I have developed a closer relationship with my HP.. and have learned to just live and let live and to let go and let God..

I have also learned that I'm not crazy just codependant and my codependency did not result from my AH's addiction, it was there long before he came in the picture and the Codependency was probably why I ended up with my AH in the first place.. So I'm slowly working through those issues... one day at a time, slowly peeling down the layers of my old self and in turn revealing a much more kinder, confident ME..

and just recently I too have learned to let go of expectations for my AH... If he has no expectations or standards for himself why the heck would he ever try to live up to mine..

Freedom1990

:ghug :ghug

mooselips

((((HurtingDad)))
It is sad when we learn stuff, we didn't ever think we'd be needing. But the greatest thing is, we can use the 12 step program everyday in our lives, it sure makes life easier.

caileesnana

you put my thought into words. thank you!

another member of the club!
susan