News About AS from Jail
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
News About AS from Jail
I just got off the phone with a therapist from the jail. She said that she really thinks he is hitting rock bottom. He is finally admitting that he isnt stronger then his problem, has cut his hair off (huge deal for him), and is leading group sessions. The topic his picked for today is tolerance - he had to choose something that he feels he has a problem with and he admits that he has a problem respecting others and showing tolerance towards other peoples feelings and opinions. Wow - huge steps for him.
She wants me to come for an "Honesty Meeting" next week. not sure what that is but she said she would prep me before hand. All I know so far is that he has to tell me what his plan of recovery is. She doesnt think i should visit until i'm sure i'm ready and this is not a visit - she said its best for me not to visit or call before that time. It is on the 9th which is his 16th birthday - she said she would only do it on that day if it was something i wanted - not for him. it would do my heart good to see him on his birthday so I did agree.
Now get this - she says the change has come because he is afraid that he has lost his mom because I have made no contact with him. He tells her that his mom doesnt love him anymore - to which she replied why should she - you dont love yourself. Even though with me he was full of bs about not caring if he is going to jail the next nine months - she said he is actually petrified right now both of going to jail and not having me by his side. He said a lot of the same ole addict bs to her - which we've all heard a 1000 times. But could he possibly be finally learning to respect my boundaries and that maybe detachment was the best thing for Him as well as me?
She told me that I did the right thing leaving him alone and that i needed to focus on my daughter and myself and not him right now. She is convinced that he has hit bottom - I'm afraid to even hope it could be. I'm excited for him and so scared all the same time.
She wants me to come for an "Honesty Meeting" next week. not sure what that is but she said she would prep me before hand. All I know so far is that he has to tell me what his plan of recovery is. She doesnt think i should visit until i'm sure i'm ready and this is not a visit - she said its best for me not to visit or call before that time. It is on the 9th which is his 16th birthday - she said she would only do it on that day if it was something i wanted - not for him. it would do my heart good to see him on his birthday so I did agree.
Now get this - she says the change has come because he is afraid that he has lost his mom because I have made no contact with him. He tells her that his mom doesnt love him anymore - to which she replied why should she - you dont love yourself. Even though with me he was full of bs about not caring if he is going to jail the next nine months - she said he is actually petrified right now both of going to jail and not having me by his side. He said a lot of the same ole addict bs to her - which we've all heard a 1000 times. But could he possibly be finally learning to respect my boundaries and that maybe detachment was the best thing for Him as well as me?
She told me that I did the right thing leaving him alone and that i needed to focus on my daughter and myself and not him right now. She is convinced that he has hit bottom - I'm afraid to even hope it could be. I'm excited for him and so scared all the same time.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
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Wow, (((Winnie)), I see a bit of hope in your post! I also see a WAY TO GO MOM!! Doesn't it feel good to have a therapist validate you that you're doing the right thing? I know that I can know I'm doing the right thing, but having someone else validate me, just makes me feel better.
It sounds, to me, that he truly is facing his addiction and its consequences. Nothing like being left alone, in jail, to bring a little reality to your face.
I know you don't want to get your hopes up too, high, but seeing how young he is, I see good news in all of this. Yes, he's had a few years to be an addict, but he hasn't had decades and that's a good thing. In fact, his brain is still forming, so let's pray that this will all have a positive impact in the long run.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
It sounds, to me, that he truly is facing his addiction and its consequences. Nothing like being left alone, in jail, to bring a little reality to your face.
I know you don't want to get your hopes up too, high, but seeing how young he is, I see good news in all of this. Yes, he's had a few years to be an addict, but he hasn't had decades and that's a good thing. In fact, his brain is still forming, so let's pray that this will all have a positive impact in the long run.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
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winnie12:
Thanks for the post. You know, i have had a little voice (HP?) tell me for a while that my reaching out even to just say "hello" (i quit enabling a long time ago) keeps 22 YO AS in denial - "what? no problem, i haven't driven my mom away." No contact goes against advice I get that says to keep the lines of communication open.....
I know it's hard to hope - in fact, it is heart breaking to hope. So it's okay to wait for the evidence yourself - it's easy for the therapist to say and think your son has hit rock bottom - that therapist does not have the deep history that you do with him.
Thanks for the post. You know, i have had a little voice (HP?) tell me for a while that my reaching out even to just say "hello" (i quit enabling a long time ago) keeps 22 YO AS in denial - "what? no problem, i haven't driven my mom away." No contact goes against advice I get that says to keep the lines of communication open.....
I know it's hard to hope - in fact, it is heart breaking to hope. So it's okay to wait for the evidence yourself - it's easy for the therapist to say and think your son has hit rock bottom - that therapist does not have the deep history that you do with him.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
Wow, this sounds like a good jail (if there are such things)! And wow, it is encouraging that when we do what is suggested and what's good for us, sometimes the results are also good for our addict kids! I hope this is the beginning of recovery for him.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Winnie,
That sure sounds encouraging.
Jail can be a good thing, sometimes.
Stay on the same course in YOUR recovery that you are on, it seems to be working for you.
Hugs and hugs....
That sure sounds encouraging.
Jail can be a good thing, sometimes.
Stay on the same course in YOUR recovery that you are on, it seems to be working for you.
Hugs and hugs....
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