No fault
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 2
No fault
Is the reason a young employee/friend of mine is being so mean and psychologically abusive towards me because I tried to help him with his oxy problem?
Is this just what one goes through with an oxy addict?
I mean, he's changed from a really nice, respectful person into someone who seems to go out of his way to be cruel.
I get a lot of the blame for our deteriorating relationship because I get angry about his poor job performance and the way he doesn't seem to care about my feelings.
He won't listen when I tell him most of the problems in our personal and working relationshps stem from his oxy abuse.
Is this just how it is?
Is this just what one goes through with an oxy addict?
I mean, he's changed from a really nice, respectful person into someone who seems to go out of his way to be cruel.
I get a lot of the blame for our deteriorating relationship because I get angry about his poor job performance and the way he doesn't seem to care about my feelings.
He won't listen when I tell him most of the problems in our personal and working relationshps stem from his oxy abuse.
Is this just how it is?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: S.E. Mich.
Posts: 1,433
That's what happens with any addict who is actively using. The only thing you can do is put out your offer for support, and then get some help for you. Addiction affects all those connected to the addict; not just the addict.
You'll find alot of strength and support for yourself here, and alot of answers as well.
Welcome to the Forums.
You'll find alot of strength and support for yourself here, and alot of answers as well.
Welcome to the Forums.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR....
When I was drinking....I was often mean spirited to everyone.
I don't know about anyone else.
It seems that you are in a really unhappy situation.
When I was drinking....I was often mean spirited to everyone.
I don't know about anyone else.
It seems that you are in a really unhappy situation.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 2
Thanks to those who responded. I'm really a mess.
My friend, JR, ASKED ME to help him with his oxy problem.
After a few sleepless nights crying together trying too figure out what to do -methadone clinic? Cold turkey?- at dinner he suggested that I hold his pills and ration them to him with weaning him off as the goal.
I agreed and said I would even pay for the pills.
His face lit up like a Christmas tree with a huge smile.
I felt like I'd found the solution.
After a few days, he was asking for less pills from me. I thought the weaning process was working.
He then told me he had been getting pills on credit. When I got concerned - not angry - and wouldn't give him as much money as he wanted, my life became hell and he has continued to "punish me" ever since.
(I thought) we were very close friends and now it's like he goes out of his way to find ways to hurt me.
Of course I have been upset and said some things in anger - calling him a junkie and blaming him for problems at work, etc.
Do I just have to cut-off all contact with him in order to not be all confused and think I'm a bad person?
Was he just conning me all along?
Thanks
My friend, JR, ASKED ME to help him with his oxy problem.
After a few sleepless nights crying together trying too figure out what to do -methadone clinic? Cold turkey?- at dinner he suggested that I hold his pills and ration them to him with weaning him off as the goal.
I agreed and said I would even pay for the pills.
His face lit up like a Christmas tree with a huge smile.
I felt like I'd found the solution.
After a few days, he was asking for less pills from me. I thought the weaning process was working.
He then told me he had been getting pills on credit. When I got concerned - not angry - and wouldn't give him as much money as he wanted, my life became hell and he has continued to "punish me" ever since.
(I thought) we were very close friends and now it's like he goes out of his way to find ways to hurt me.
Of course I have been upset and said some things in anger - calling him a junkie and blaming him for problems at work, etc.
Do I just have to cut-off all contact with him in order to not be all confused and think I'm a bad person?
Was he just conning me all along?
Thanks
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well...
I've never met an active alcoholic or addict who
would not protect their addiction.
That is what he is doing....IMO
You might want to check out the
Friends & Family of Substance Abusers
Start with reading the top sticky post there.
It's important to take care of yourself first...
I've never met an active alcoholic or addict who
would not protect their addiction.
That is what he is doing....IMO
You might want to check out the
Friends & Family of Substance Abusers
Start with reading the top sticky post there.
It's important to take care of yourself first...
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
Yeapp!!! I Guess that's how it is with all Addicts we loose sight
and focus and we don't care who we hurt along the way
what you got to do is Stop Cleaning up for him and let him face his on Mess:codiepolice
and focus and we don't care who we hurt along the way
what you got to do is Stop Cleaning up for him and let him face his on Mess:codiepolice
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