I was mad
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: somewhere, SD
Posts: 177
I was mad
But then I paused..which is a very good idea with addiction..pause, at all, count to thirty and see if right now is as bad as you thought..anyway, I bailed out of some sites and I came here, and I was at first mad because very few people were online right now...but after I paused and thought about it, maybe that means that a lot of people are doing good, and can sleep, and it's ok for them. I hope it is.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: somewhere, SD
Posts: 177
Drink.
Drink hardcore.
I have no idea where to get drugs, but do those, too.
Drink, I can get. Vodka party. Here. It's really not worth trying that hard. Your life is still going to suck, you're still going to hate yourself the morning after, you're still going to sleep with people you probably wouldn't, and life is still going to suck, and you're still going to die. So if you can afford the internet, and you are here, get completely destroyed, and enjoy it. Live it up. make it memorable.
Drink hardcore.
I have no idea where to get drugs, but do those, too.
Drink, I can get. Vodka party. Here. It's really not worth trying that hard. Your life is still going to suck, you're still going to hate yourself the morning after, you're still going to sleep with people you probably wouldn't, and life is still going to suck, and you're still going to die. So if you can afford the internet, and you are here, get completely destroyed, and enjoy it. Live it up. make it memorable.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi Anodyne ....
your correct there are not many SR members around just now.
You might want to find an active Chat room...maybe *****?
Is there anything I can help wih?
your correct there are not many SR members around just now.
You might want to find an active Chat room...maybe *****?
Is there anything I can help wih?
Last edited by CarolD; 11-30-2008 at 01:15 AM.
OMG everything's real
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 4,020
It was pretty early on a Sunday morning when you posted. Not sure what timezone you are in?!
From your second post, I would diagnose a serious case of the "f*ck its" Very common round here, and usually precedes a relapse.
You sound pretty low actually and I feel for you. I have the same thoughts about being sober - is it worth it, life sucks so I may as well be trashed for it. Sometimes I relapse, sometimes, like today, I use that pain to work a bit harder on my recovery. I need the pain to kick my a$$ into gear!
You go to AA or some kind of recovery programme?
From your second post, I would diagnose a serious case of the "f*ck its" Very common round here, and usually precedes a relapse.
You sound pretty low actually and I feel for you. I have the same thoughts about being sober - is it worth it, life sucks so I may as well be trashed for it. Sometimes I relapse, sometimes, like today, I use that pain to work a bit harder on my recovery. I need the pain to kick my a$$ into gear!
You go to AA or some kind of recovery programme?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: somewhere, SD
Posts: 177
yeah..I'm sorry about that.
Lost, you were right, relapse happened. I'm not very keen on it at all, I'm actually pretty irritated with myself right now, and I apologize for kind of ranting here in the wee hours of the morning.
Thank you folks, for not just telling me to stfu and go away.
Lost, you were right, relapse happened. I'm not very keen on it at all, I'm actually pretty irritated with myself right now, and I apologize for kind of ranting here in the wee hours of the morning.
Thank you folks, for not just telling me to stfu and go away.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 164
hey anodyne,
we're glad you're here..hope you're doing ok today! check in later & let us know how you're doing! sorry everything seems sh*tty right now...but you are not alone!! thinking of you!!!
big hugz!!!
Lisa
we're glad you're here..hope you're doing ok today! check in later & let us know how you're doing! sorry everything seems sh*tty right now...but you are not alone!! thinking of you!!!
big hugz!!!
Lisa
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: somewhere, SD
Posts: 177
Thanks everyone. Checking in. I'm OK--as in sobered up, and detoxing, which is not fun.
I was supposed to go to my mom's and go with her to get a Christmas tree today, but I'm so shakey and anxious I probably won't. Another in a long list of family and friend let downs because I drank the day or days before.
Blah.
Not fun right now, but I know it's better to detox now and get back on track than to stay on a long binge/bender so that I 'don't care'. Got my forms filled out for an outpatient class last week. Been there before, going back will be good. I have been going 3 days, a week, 12 days etc without a drink, then going on 1-4 day benders. Nothing is getting accomplished, so going to classes and having some support again will hopefully help.
I was supposed to go to my mom's and go with her to get a Christmas tree today, but I'm so shakey and anxious I probably won't. Another in a long list of family and friend let downs because I drank the day or days before.
Blah.
Not fun right now, but I know it's better to detox now and get back on track than to stay on a long binge/bender so that I 'don't care'. Got my forms filled out for an outpatient class last week. Been there before, going back will be good. I have been going 3 days, a week, 12 days etc without a drink, then going on 1-4 day benders. Nothing is getting accomplished, so going to classes and having some support again will hopefully help.
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