Impurrfect

After getting my hours at work CUT, so that 2 teenagers can come back to work after a month's vacation, I hit bottom with my job. I've been unable to get hold of my boss...he was out for several days.

I've asked 2 managers to get me the workman's comp dr. info that is hanging up in our breakroom, but have heard nothing from them. I am going to work tonight, just to make a little money and get the info my dam self.

I'm having headaches, can't concentrate, anxiety, either can't sleep or want to sleep all the time. I'm going to see a workman's comp dr. as soon as I can get an appt. and hope that I can get some time off.

Today I am dealing with anger. The night the robbery happened, I was FURIOUS with my store manager and his boss. Two weeks before our robbery, a sister store was robbed, 4 miles down the road. I asked, time and time again, if we could lock the doors when it got "dead' in the restaurant, in the middle of the night, and was told "NO".

We had been locking the doors, anyway, but the night of the robbery, since it was early morning they were unlocked. I went to lock them, then realized my store manager or his boss have a tendency to sneak in around that time and did not want to lose my job.

I put MY life and the lives of my 2 coworkers at risk because of THIS stupid job?!?!?!

I am applying for other jobs, and doing what I can to get out of there. Unfortunately, it may take a while to get another job.

I know I'm doing what I can, right now, so guess this is just a vent.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

jerect

((((((AMY))))))

I don't know what to say but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers..

Here lately when things haven't been moving as quickly as I would like them to or haven't been going according to "my plan" I have to remind myself that God always has a bigger and better plan for us..

I pray that you will find another job quckly because your safety is the number one priority here not to mention peace of mind...

greeteachday

((((Amy))))
It is always difficult for me when I get that ah-haa moment and know that my HP is in control and then I try to steer again. It's so, so difficult when I am not sure why I had to face such pain, so I can definitely relate to how you are feeling.

Your anger at the circumstances is so valid and I'm glad you can get it out. I am particularly upset that your boss has not called you back and the managers are ignoring you. I think it is a good idea to get in there and get the info yourself. Even if you don't get the "workers comp" doc, please get checked out by someone. You were injured and you should have medical attention.

Wish I could fix it for you, my friend - you deserve the best in life. But I have great confidence that you and your HP have this covered and despite the hard times, something wonderful is coming soon

sleepygoat

Try something. Write down (in the form of a prayer) exactly what you are looking for in your next job. My husband did this recently and got nearly everything he 'requested' in his current job. For example,
"God please lead me to a job that is a reasonable commute from home, with a salary that is better than I now have. Please give me a boss I can really get along well with and co-workers who are friendly and cooperative..."
You get the idea. I really believe that sometimes we "have not because we ask not" and it sure can't hurt to put your wish list out there to the universe...

marle

Sounds like, after everything you have gone through, you might be suffering from PTSD. I am praying that you get to see a doctor that can help you and that you find another job, one that is not so dangerous and that is closer to home. Hugs, Marle

Impurrfect

Thanks everyone!

((Sleepy)) - I like the idea of a prayer, and you're right...a lot of times we don't get what we want because we don't ask.

I looked up PTSD and I do have a lot of the symptoms. The reason I'm going to workman's comp is because I don't have the money to pay for it, and I feel the company is obligated to pay for this. If I don't get in soon enough, however, I WILL go to my dr. until I can be seen by them.

I'm also upset that I can't just "let this go", but I have to remind myself that this was a MAJOR stressor and that my brain is probably acting in "survival mode". I'm also hurt at the way I'm being treated by my bosses.

I'm trying to look at the good in this...I hit bottom, so there's no way to go but up, work HAS to pay for counseling, doctor's appt., meds, etc...and mostly, I'm clean and I can feel these feelings and get through them (with a lot of help from you all).

I'm about to get ready for work. I'm going to say the serenity prayer a few 100 times on my way, put a smile on my face and do my best. If they get on my nerves, I'm coming home and there's not a darned thing they can do about it

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Hope

You are going through a lot but you remain strong.

I will be praying for you that everything works out.

Remember, this too shall pass. That saying really is true although sometimes it can seem to take forever for it to pass.... but it does.

Thoughts and prayers to you, Amy!

painter

ABC

ASK --ask God
Believe--Believe He will answer
Claim --Claim what He sends your way

Chino

I've been treated for PTSD, it was a few years worth of therapy and nine years later. That's one heck of a delayed reaction. I could write a book about it, but when the pain caught up it rocked my world. After that, it took me years to let go because it took me years to finally stop being in survival mode. My brain wouldn't allow me to do it any sooner. The longer your brain waits, the longer it takes.

You have emotional pain that your brain is letting you feel, and that's really good in so many ways. It's letting you know you can begin healing now, the danger is past. It's also letting you know that you have the ability. If you need help your subconscious brain knows you have resources to make that happen.

The timing of your post is just uncanny. Earlier this week my daughter started feeling it like a ton of bricks. She said the severity of everything all finally came together instead of pieces here and there. I know she wanted to bawl her eyes out but she couldn't because of those damned wires in her jaw. She knows she needs help dealing with this and asked for it.

I may be way off, but I think your recovery and hers is what's helping. Anyone in recovery is going to have a lot more tools to work with than the average person with unresolved issues. Your brain was in survival mode during active addiction, it was highjacked, and you had trauma because of it. Yet, through a series of events you reclaimed your brain, found the tools to heal it and keep it safe, protected.

You have fought hard for courage in your life and have a tremendous amount of it. You know how to face this and eventually let it go... one day at a time

grateful2b

Amy. I have to agree , sounds like ptsd...
when you first talked about them cutting your hours, I thought , with the trauma and less hours and the bottom of this job, your HP is definitely giving you the nudge to move on and so will also provide the open door...
I love Sleepy's suggestion..something I do myself when I need to...
know that the door will appear, your job is to know where you would like to land...
write down where you would like to be and what you would like to do and expect it to manifest when the time is right...
good luck with the workman's comp next week and try and get some downtime , so you can help this healing process along...would be good if you could talk to someone .....
know you are in my prayers, Grateful

Impurrfect

I made it through my shift, but as it was exactly 2 weeks after the robbery, I was on pins and needles once it slowed down. I am calling out tonight, because they have too many servers scheduled and it wouldn't be worth my time driving 80 miles round trip to make a few dollars.

I checked the workman's comp doctors and the only option I have is an urgent care, but I guess it's a place to start. If they won't give me the time off, I know my dr. will and I can come up with the $25 it takes to see him.

I will go to the urgent care on Mon., and stop by work on my way back and find out where my $165 is.

D and I were both ready to walk out tonight (he was the supervisor who got pepper-sprayed). I am about ready to see if Wal-Mart will hire me, since they are only a mile away from the house, just to have some money coming in.

((Chino)) - I do believe my recovery is helping me. More than anything, I KNOW my codie recovery is helping because I am no longer willing to take any more crap from my job. I've spent all this time, thinking I'm getting what I deserve, but I do NOT deserve this.

Two peope left early on day shift, because they were fed up (didn't quit, but left), my night-time coworker starts another job on Tue. so they may be losing more people. I used to think "good...more hours for me". Now...they can have it.

I appreciate ya'll putting up with my venting and whining I figure the more I get it out of my head, the better off I'll be.

I haven't started my prayer of the job I want yet, but I sure know what I DON'T want!

In spite of it all, I am trying to stay positive and even though it was slow tonight, I got good tips. Now, I'm about to snuggle with Elvis and get some sleep.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Impurrfect

So, I've filled out several more job applications, with the wonderful help of 2 of the 3 cats. I'm doing what sleepy recommended and going after what I want, instead of just something to tide me over.

I looked at a job opening for the CIA, but....um, I don't exactly qualify

Stepmom has a big ham in the oven, the weather is absolutely gorgeous, and I have my faithful furballs at my side.

Life is still good

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

copperpenny

Your positive attitude and these folks will get you through this tough time. You have such an awesome recovery just keep going one day at a time. Prayers are with you.