Watching Death Happen..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 59
Watching Death Happen..
I've been lurking on this forum for 2 years and am grateful for you all... this forum has helped me immensely. I thank you all. Today, after 13 months of sobriety, I'm seeing the first signs of relapse in my fiance.. but i'm 2 years along in my personal program and I have released him to his HP…
...Have you ever been told a loved one is dying of terminal cancer? It feels the same way to me right now, at this moment. And rather than focus on the "cancer", I've just resigned myself to "enjoying the time I have left with him". The countdown has begun, but he is unaware of it.
I've decided that by the time "it" happens (and I leave him stranded at Salvation Army), I will remember him as the wonderful man he was, before the terminality occurs. I am sad, but am trying to Take Joy in our last Good Moments Together before The End.. just like when a loved one dies of cancer... Thank you for listening...
...Have you ever been told a loved one is dying of terminal cancer? It feels the same way to me right now, at this moment. And rather than focus on the "cancer", I've just resigned myself to "enjoying the time I have left with him". The countdown has begun, but he is unaware of it.
I've decided that by the time "it" happens (and I leave him stranded at Salvation Army), I will remember him as the wonderful man he was, before the terminality occurs. I am sad, but am trying to Take Joy in our last Good Moments Together before The End.. just like when a loved one dies of cancer... Thank you for listening...
Welcome...glad you are here! 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR!
I, too, lurked for a long time before joining in. As I'm sure you already know, there are some wonderful people here. I knew that, but once I started posting and REALLY getting to know everyone, it is amazing how the first hint that something is going wrong in my life, I come to SR and everyone makes me feel better.
I'm sorry your fiance is relapsing, but I'm glad you have already been working on you.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I, too, lurked for a long time before joining in. As I'm sure you already know, there are some wonderful people here. I knew that, but once I started posting and REALLY getting to know everyone, it is amazing how the first hint that something is going wrong in my life, I come to SR and everyone makes me feel better.
I'm sorry your fiance is relapsing, but I'm glad you have already been working on you.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Welcome to SR. Letting him go may be what ultimately saves his life. We can just never know what the future holds. One thing that I have learned from addiction is that things change. I am glad that you are taking care of yourself. Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Virginia gal
Posts: 132
I am so sorry you are going through this. I too lurked for a long time and felt like I "knew" these lovely people. I have received so much from coming here. I don't post very often but when I do "they" all come running. Glad you are here. Hang in there. Prayer for you.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
You sound strong, and are in my prayers....
Just a note, My "relapse radar" has actually been wrong a time or two - now THAT was a surprise!
I hope yours is also on the fritz, but if not, I am glad you have a plan.
Peace
((hugs))
Just a note, My "relapse radar" has actually been wrong a time or two - now THAT was a surprise!
I hope yours is also on the fritz, but if not, I am glad you have a plan.Peace
((hugs))
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
I'm sorry for your pain.. I feel like this sometimes too. I'm watching my AH slowly commot suicide and there is not a damn thing that I can do about it.. I try to enjoy and focus on the good moments that I have with him.
Sometimes Love is best expressed by letting someone go and finding their own path.. This is what I'm working towards now.. just letting him go, detatching from my AH, our marriage and any real possiblitly that things will be normal again. Because I know that as long as he is using I can have none of these things.. I'm just now focusing on taking care of myself, my health and my spiritual well being..
Sometimes Love is best expressed by letting someone go and finding their own path.. This is what I'm working towards now.. just letting him go, detatching from my AH, our marriage and any real possiblitly that things will be normal again. Because I know that as long as he is using I can have none of these things.. I'm just now focusing on taking care of myself, my health and my spiritual well being..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 287
Such a tough decision, even though it is the correct one. Congratulations on your own sobriety - that is the most important thing. Hopefully your fiance will realize that losing everything in life will including you.
Prayers sent your way.
Prayers sent your way.
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