Mattcake

That's exactly what I'm feeling right now. I know, I know, "good for you, moving on..." This was meant to be a blog entry, but I decided to post it here instead, following the lead set by other SR members, and hoping it'll encourage newcomers.

In the past, whenever somebody asked me how I was feeling, I automatically answered "okay". Not good, not bad, and a lie.

I've been sober for a few months now... Sometimes I wonder what made this attempt stick for so long. Maybe I gradually learned stuff from my past efforts. Maybe there was some sort of divine intervention that lifted both my desire to drink and the obsession to get hammered. Also, I literally was sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. I know for a fact that the encouragement, love and support you all offered to me was critical - my life changed when I joined SR.

So I have no pearls of wisdom to share. Yes, I did commit myself to sobriety. And yes, at times I struggle a bit. For the most part, though, so far the process has been relatively effortless - or maybe the benefits are so huge that they eclipse and far outweigh those struggles. It feels like I gave up nothing . Really, I don't feel like I sacrificed anything at all. I am actually enjoying myself.

I dislike this emoticon: Because, YES, I did do it - I mean drinking. But I don't do it anymore, and that's where I found freedom. Funnily enough, the door to the cell was wide open all along.

There are so many challenges in my life nowadays... But that's fine. In fact, that's a good thing at this point. My background feeling right now is one of contentment - not ecstatic happiness, nor despair either. I feel "okay", and very grateful. Really feeling okay is a blessing, and more than enough for now. I could probably ask for more but, really, I don't want to

ANGELINA243

Oh Matty--You have come so far--keep moving forward! I am so proud of you!!!

Rella927

Powerful post Matt! Thank you for sharing -Very happy for you!

BUTTERFLY-7

Matt: God Bless your Honesty, it was said to me in the Rooms that Recovery-
stars when you get Honest with your self, and you Buddy just Have done that.
one of the qualities I admire about you from day one with old do
respect is been your realness,and your sense of Humor, of course

Keep Up the Good work..............

CarolD

Since I never read Blogs Matt...
thanks for putting it on Newcomers

I'm glad I did not miss your powerful share.

coffeenut

I absolutely love this post. You hit exactly how I feel, but didn't know how to say.

Vintersemestre

The door to freedom is always open, one must just choose to step through it. Good quasi-buddhist wisdom there :P

The door of my heart is open to you.

Horselover

Great post Matt and thank you for putting it here. I also rarely read the blogs and I think its important for newcomers to read about the contentment that you have achieved after the struggle with alcoholism is met. I think once you do the surrender and you find a plan, as you did, things begin to fall in to place. Again, great job and good idea to post about it Matt. :ghug3

splendra

Geee ((((((mattcake)))) I think you really are getting over it:bounce

Ananda

Thanks matty..

four812

matt. thanks for sharing this. thanks for reminding me of this feeling as I have experienced it. reading your post just now brought me some peace and connection and encouragement and grattitude.

keep up the good life