Personal Testimonial
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Southern Maryland
Posts: 169
Personal Testimonial
To everyone:
I had a conversation yesterday with a very dear lady who happens to be a recovered alcoholic.
I told her that I had asked my husband to move out, because the alcohol. I told her that I'd told him that he'd have to make changes or move out. He chose moving out, no hesitation.
She said to me "You don't feel guilty, do you?"
I said yes, in a way. I still have those lingering "did I do the right thing" thoughts.
She said that sometimes love has to be tough. When someone is living in denial, you can't do anything about it. She said that her turning point was when she had lost everyone she loved. "No one wanted to be around me. I was alone with my booze. That's the only company I had".
I also told her some of the things that have been happening at home that have been driving me crazy. She smiled and said that manipulation is the primary weapon of the alcoholic. She said "I remember doing it myself"
It was sooooo nice to hear it from someone who has experienced this from the other side. To hear someone actually fess up and be straightforward. Reading the books helps, but hearing "from the horses mouth" made me feel so much better about deciding to get out.
Thought I'd share.
I had a conversation yesterday with a very dear lady who happens to be a recovered alcoholic.
I told her that I had asked my husband to move out, because the alcohol. I told her that I'd told him that he'd have to make changes or move out. He chose moving out, no hesitation.
She said to me "You don't feel guilty, do you?"
I said yes, in a way. I still have those lingering "did I do the right thing" thoughts.
She said that sometimes love has to be tough. When someone is living in denial, you can't do anything about it. She said that her turning point was when she had lost everyone she loved. "No one wanted to be around me. I was alone with my booze. That's the only company I had".
I also told her some of the things that have been happening at home that have been driving me crazy. She smiled and said that manipulation is the primary weapon of the alcoholic. She said "I remember doing it myself"
It was sooooo nice to hear it from someone who has experienced this from the other side. To hear someone actually fess up and be straightforward. Reading the books helps, but hearing "from the horses mouth" made me feel so much better about deciding to get out.
Thought I'd share.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Eyes
I have been blessed to know many recovering addicts who have shared openly about how it was with them, which helped me understand my son's addiction and what part I played and did not play in it.
Probably the best advice I ever got was from these people and I learned to listen when they make suggestions for me to take also.
I'm glad that your friend shared with you and has been a comfort.
I have been blessed to know many recovering addicts who have shared openly about how it was with them, which helped me understand my son's addiction and what part I played and did not play in it.
Probably the best advice I ever got was from these people and I learned to listen when they make suggestions for me to take also.
I'm glad that your friend shared with you and has been a comfort.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Southern Maryland
Posts: 169
Ann:
I'm glad you found recovered individuals too -- I see now that there is a difference between recovered and just 'not drinking'.
I know a few women who are married to A's who are not drinking, and suposedly recovered, but you can tell that the environment is not one where you can speak freely. There is still that unspoken tension going on.
It is so good to see someone "truly recovered" to the point that they welcome questions and can even laugh a little about it. Just soooo refreshing!
I'm glad you found recovered individuals too -- I see now that there is a difference between recovered and just 'not drinking'.
I know a few women who are married to A's who are not drinking, and suposedly recovered, but you can tell that the environment is not one where you can speak freely. There is still that unspoken tension going on.
It is so good to see someone "truly recovered" to the point that they welcome questions and can even laugh a little about it. Just soooo refreshing!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: phila, pa
Posts: 231
Ann,
Do you have any particularly helpful hints for this enmeshed mom? I find a distinction between a n addicted child and spouse when folks speak. I just started w/ meetings and am getting stronger.... slowly. How old is your son (if you don't mind me asking)?
Mamabear
Do you have any particularly helpful hints for this enmeshed mom? I find a distinction between a n addicted child and spouse when folks speak. I just started w/ meetings and am getting stronger.... slowly. How old is your son (if you don't mind me asking)?
Mamabear
Learning to love life...
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 529
Hi Eyes,
I too have had many wise and wonderful things said to me by recovering "elders" in the program. Every once in a while I'll tag along with G to his AA or NA meeting, and I always walk away a little "wiser" myself. I get a kick out of how well the program works for these people; it is their way of life, and they are happy. God bless them
Meg
I too have had many wise and wonderful things said to me by recovering "elders" in the program. Every once in a while I'll tag along with G to his AA or NA meeting, and I always walk away a little "wiser" myself. I get a kick out of how well the program works for these people; it is their way of life, and they are happy. God bless them
Meg
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